


Found

by Weltatlas



Category: Alex Verus Series - Benedict Jacka
Genre: Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Council Politics, Dancing, Dom/sub Undertones, Drama, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Kidnapping, Light Bondage, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Torture, takes place in Bound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2019-11-21 13:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 67,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18142790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weltatlas/pseuds/Weltatlas
Summary: Kissing your boss is probably not a great idea. Especially not if you aren't sure whether he'd welcome it. And definitely not if he's an incredibly powerful Dark mage - who is also your enemy.An AU that diverges from Canon in Bound.





	1. Pleasant Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> In the books Alex said that he couldn't find any slash fiction, so of course I couldn't leave him hanging like that.  
> This is mostly written as pure self-indulgence, please feel free to join me in the trash.
> 
> This story only takes the first 8(/9) books into account and will ignore books 10, 11 and 12.

_May_

One of the things I hadn’t expected to learn as Morden’s aid was that he could actually be pleasant to work with.  
We were discussing today’s Council business in his study, a small room panelled with dark wood that was located behind the administration blocks in the War Rooms. From where I was standing near the door, I had a nice view of a clear blue lake and rolling hills through an illusion window. 

“You can tell Metis that I will be supporting her proposal nonetheless,” Morden said leaning casually against his desk. 

“Why?” I asked, because unlike I would have assumed, Morden turned out to be someone who welcomed questions. “I wouldn’t have thought that the protection of normals is something you particularly care about.”

Morden shrugged. “It’s more a sign of good faith, really.”

“So something of a PR move to gain more popularity, like the White Rose thing,” I concluded. 

“Ah, that certainly was a pleasant side effect of the operation, yes.”

“Side effect?” I tilted my head in confusion. “There was another reason behind it?”

Morden hesitated for a moment, then said, “I guess you could call it sentimentality on my part. It has never been an organisation I was fond of and I have to admit, I was quite glad to finally see it gone.”

I looked at him positively surprised. Of course, ‘does not approve of child prostitution’ was a very low bar – so low in fact it was buried at least six feet in the ground – and yet one that so-called Light mages like Levistus and Undaaris had managed to stumble over.  
What surprised me more was that he admitted even possessing such a thing as sentimentality. 

“Anyways,” Morden continued. “What else happened today?”

“Ictis wanted to know your position on the Item Trade Regulation act.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“That I would consult with you,” I said and waited for him to inform me of his position. 

Instead he surprised me again by asking for my opinion. “Well, what do you think? You are the Keeper here.”

While it was true that it was the Keepers who would have to deal with implementing the act, my progress with getting any kind of work there had been none existing and I mostly opted for not wasting my time in my Keeper office at all. Besides, Morden surely wasn’t interested in my opinion on this, but was simply testing my abilities in accurately guessing his. Sadly, my divination was as useless in conversation with him as usual. 

“Well, the Isolationists hope that regulating the trade of magical items would reduce the risk of them falling into the hands of normals and argue that thereby the act is in accordance with the Secrecy Clause of the Concord,” I began and Morden nodded. 

“That seems like a sound proposal, doesn’t it?” he interjected, his constant half-smile close to a smirk now. It gave him an almost casual charm, contrasting and yet well suited to his generally polished, smooth good-looks. But the shiver it sent running down my back warned me to not let down my guard. 

“Sure, but there is the problem of how you would go about realising it. Honestly, I don’t think the Keepers have the means right now to monitor every single item being traded,” I said.

“New task forces could be compiled, and sections of the work transferred to the administrative offices,” Morden suggested. Those actually sounded like rather good ideas the Isolationists would love to hear about. It confused me however, because I expected Morden’s position on this to be quite different. 

“Yes, but I don’t think you approve.”

Morden raised a questioning eyebrow. “And why is that?”

I swallowed and continued. “Because frankly, Dark mages aren’t exactly known for liking or following Council regulations. And this act could make it very easy for Keepers to arrest them and to impound items deemed illegal. So no, I don’t think you’d approve.” 

Morden smiled. “Oh, I agree, it most certainly is a ludicrous proposal,” he said, sounding pleased. “You may tell Ictis exactly that. Was there anything else?”

 

Relieved to have passed the test, I felt comfortable enough to complain about Jarnaff, who was Sal Sarque’s aid, and apparently had decided that if he couldn’t outright kill me himself, he’d do his best to annoy me to death. 

“Believe me, Verus, I know what you are talking about,” Morden sighed. “Only that Councillor Sarque himself is at least ten times worse, because neither can I leave Council meetings, nor tell him to shut up… and he just keeps on talking so much.”

“He really doesn’t like you, huh?” I asked grinning, the thought of a despairing Morden forced to listen to other Councillors sprouting bullshit was quite funny. 

Morden snorted. “That’s one way to put it. Did you know that in the beginning he would vote against whatever I said, simply out of spite?”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Morden said. “It was horribly childish. I’m sure that he would have voted to include more Dark mages on the Council, had I suggested a ban.”

My laugh caught both of us off-guard. I hadn’t intended it and the bright, happy sound startled me. I felt a tad embarrassed, but Morden just smiled at me and if I hadn’t known better, I would have mistaken it to be genuine.  
We returned to our previous conversation about a seemingly never-ending list of proposals, payments and deals, but it lacked the usual tension now and felt a lot lighter. 

 

“…lastly, an invitation for the Spring Ball arrived,” I finished my report. 

Morden nodded. “Very well.”

“Seems like your kind of thing,” I said, counting myself lucky that unlike him I wouldn’t have to go. Making small-talk and good impressions at social events had never been part of my strong suits, while Morden never failed to be charming. 

“Why don’t you call it a day, I’ll take care of these,” he said and gestured to the stacks of paper piling up on his desk. 

“Thanks,” I said turning to leave. “See you tomorrow.”

Another surprise about working for Morden had been that he didn’t try to bully me by making me do all kinds of awful work, as I had sort of expected. He actually did all his own work, even the horrible paperwork part, which was something I’d heard some of the other aids complaining about. All I had to do was dealing with aids, a task that could be quite exhausting and frustrating, but wasn’t too bad overall. And even giving my report to and talking things over with Morden had turned out to be more fun than usual today.  
Passing by Jarnaff on the way to the elevator, I gave him a polite nod and smiled, as I had seen Morden do with all the Councillors that hated him. My divination showed me Jarnaff glaring daggers at my back, but I ignored it and stepped into the elevator.


	2. ...and less pleasant ones

After its existence had apparently become public knowledge, my safe house in Wales turned out to be not so safe anymore. Annoyed by the frequent not-so-friendly visitors I had decided to move out. Since my flat was still uninhabitable after the fire and I didn’t want to risk getting a new one, that had left staying at hotels. Sleeping itself was something of a security risk in general, because I couldn’t actively check the futures for danger, and always being on the move meant I couldn’t install any strong wards. But at least it would keep the Crusaders and other enemies from finding me. Or so I’d thought.

I woke up with a jolt, disoriented for a moment. A look at my phone told me that I still had a couple of minutes before my alarm would go off, but a look in the futures showed that had it, and not my premonition woken me, it would have been too late. In exactly thirty-four seconds a gang of highly-armed goons would storm my room, and while it got fuzzy from there on, it was clear enough that I definitely shouldn’t let them corner me. I quickly pulled on my shoes. Up on the sixth floor the window wasn’t an option, so I chose the only path left: sometimes the best way to retreat is straight ahead.

I pulled the door open in exactly the moment one of the men threw himself against it, sending him stumbling and then to the floor with a well-placed hit. Without wasting another second, I bolted outside. The attackers (I counted five, none of them a mage) hadn’t expected me to charge right at them, and it was those brief moments of surprise that allowed me to duck past them. Then the spell was broken, and they opened fire. 

Dodging bullets while running through a corridor wasn’t an easy feat, even for me, but luckily it appeared that they were only shooting to maim, not to kill. I made it to the fire exit with only a graze wound, skidded around the corner and continued running down the stairs, taking two or more steps at once. Shouts and the clatter of heavy boots sounded from above, the goons were giving a chase. 

Pushing through the door out to the street I counted myself lucky that I had chosen normal clothes to sleep in. I quickly oriented myself, then sprinted in direction of the main road. The goons were still hot on my tail, and young and fit as they were, probably would have already caught up to me, hadn’t it been for my training with Anne. I got a couple of confused looks from passers-by for my wild sprint, relying entirely on my divination to avoid collisions. 

As expected, my pursuers wouldn’t risk attracting too much attention or harming normals, but that didn’t mean the threat was over. Since I hadn’t had the time to grab any equipment, both gating away and fighting them were out. Which meant I would have to lose them the old-fashioned way.

If we continued running like this, they’d catch me eventually and my lungs had already started to burn. Turning sharp right and then left sadly didn’t shake them, but it did lead us onto a busy square. I dived into the crowd. My pursuers were still close on my heel, but the mass of hasting and strolling people between us soon made it harder for them to keep up. Besides their usefulness in losing people, crowds also had the disadvantage of rendering my divination almost useless with all the interference and unpredictability. I sighed, shaking off the goons could take a while.

 

Sitting on a park bench I kept checking the futures to assure myself that I had really lost them. I started to relax, until it suddenly hit me that I was supposed to be at the War Rooms this morning. _Shit._ Morden wouldn’t be happy about that. At all. 

Not only would my absence be an inconvenience to him and maybe even cause setbacks on the deals I was supposed to negotiate, but it could also be interpreted as me refusing to follow his orders. And while we were getting along better lately, he still didn’t take challenges to his authority lightly. I swallowed, painfully remembering the way he’d reacted when I had tried to refuse him back in January. The threat he’d made about having my friends and family killed scared me even more. 

What if he’d already given the order when I hadn’t arrived on time and wasn’t answering my phone? If he assumed it meant I was attempting to defy him… I had to get to the War Rooms now. Calling for a lift or taking the underground were impossible without phone or wallet, which meant that I would have to walk. It should take me about two hours from where I was now, less if I hurried. I got up and started running.

~~~

It was something of a miracle that none of the Council security men stopped me from entering the War Rooms. I used the time in the elevator to catch my breath and straighten my clothes, but there was nothing to be done about the sweat and blood stains. Or the fact I wasn’t even wearing a suit, but a simple shirt and track pants.

Trying to look as dignified as possible, I ignored the stares caused by my disorderly appearance and walked briskly towards the Star Chamber. I paused before the doors leading into the antechamber and used my divination to look ahead. Apparently, the Council session had just ended, and the Councillors were filling out of the Star Chamber to meet with their aides. Morden scanned the room with a frown.

“Seems like you’ve lost your aide,” Sal Sarque said and fell into step next to Morden. The complacent grin on his face told me all I needed to know about whom I had to thank for the early morning visit. “Let’s hope he hasn’t had any of the bad luck your last two assistants did.”

Before Morden could reply, I decided that this seemed like the perfect moment to enter the room. My entrance attracted more attention than I would have liked, but it was worth seeing Sal Sarque’s expression change to utter shock. I gave him a grim smile. 

Morden looked as unaffected as always. 

“Verus.” He nodded at me. “How kind of you to finally join us.” 

Without any further comment he left Sal Sarque behind, and signalled me to follow him. I did, feeling a nervous churn in my stomach. Outwardly Morden didn’t appear to be angry, but that didn’t have to mean anything. He led me to his study, leaving me to stand uncomfortably in front of the desk while he sat down behind it. 

“So,” he said folding his hands, and shot me a cold look. “I do hope you have a good explanation for your tardiness – and this mess.” His critical gaze made me hyper-aware of the pathetic sight I must make.

“Sorry for being late, I was kind of busy trying to avoid getting kidnapped or murdered,” I said with a hint of acid in my voice. “A gang of Crusader goons almost attacked me in my sleep and then chased me through half of London.”

This explanation seemed to be enough for Morden, but he didn’t look too happy at my sarcastic tone.

“Fair enough. Nevertheless, your absence today was quite unacceptable, and I strongly advise you to keep this a one-off thing.” His message was clear, this time he would let it slide, but if it happened again, there’d be consequences.

“Hey, you’re making it sound as if it were my fault I was attacked!” I complained. The stress and exhaustion were finally taking their toll and my anger made me careless.  
“It probably was the Crusaders again, which kind of makes it your fault, actually. Sure, I’d love to never repeat this, but how am I supposed to prevent them from trying to abduct me?”

Morden listened to my outburst without any reaction.  
“I wonder, Verus, have you ever heard of wards?” he asked, a smirk starting to play around his lips.

“Have you heard of my flat burning down?” I quipped back and crossed my arms. “And the house in Wales is too well known now as well.” 

Morden frowned. “Where have you been staying then?”

“Hotels.”

He gave a non-descript hum and leaned back, looking thoughtful. I shifted my weight; the adrenalin was disappearing, and I began to really feel the pain and exhaustion caused by my escapades this morning. Contemplating something Morden regarded me, eyes lingering on the graze wound on my arm. Finally, he seemed to have reached a conclusion.

“Very well,” he said. “You may stay at my mansion.”

“What?” 

The dumbfounded expression on my face seemed to amuse him.  
“If you think that the attack was my fault, then surely you will agree that it is my responsibility to take precautions against it,” he explained casually. “Besides, my personal aide being homeless isn’t exactly an acceptable situation.” He smiled at me.

I huffed. “Thanks for the offer, but no.”

Morden’s eyes narrowed. “I’m afraid you misunderstand, this isn’t an offer.”

“Why?” I demanded. “It’s not like you care about my well-being.”

“Maybe I simply am sick of having to replace my assistants on a monthly basis,” Morden said, and I shrunk a little under his sharp glare. “Is this matter settled now?”

I bit my lip, no way did I want to stay at his mansion even for a second, let alone live there. But there also was no way for me to refuse.

“Yes,” I replied, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice. 

“Good.” Morden nodded. “Then allow me to fill you in on everything you’ve missed.”


	3. Moving in

Morden eventually took mercy on me and allowed me to leave work earlier that day. Or he just couldn’t stand seeing me so unprofessionally dressed any longer, which was more likely overall.  
I borrowed some cash for the underground and returned to the hotel to collect my things. Extensive checks of the futures had shown that I’d have about twenty minutes before a new gang of Crusaders would turn up, this time including the two mages that had attacked me in the Vault two months ago. 

I quickly changed into some clean clothes. Not a lot of my stuff had survived the fire, and constantly being on the move hadn’t really allowed me to get a lot of new things either, so packing up didn’t take long. My phone showed two missed calls and a text from Morden, which had arrived this morning. I sent out alerts to Anne, Luna and Variam, asking them to meet me at Arachne’s for an emergency discussion. 

With comfortable seven minutes left on the clock I checked out of the hotel and gated to Hampstead Heath. There was a new gatestone in my collection now, its red surface smooth and polished, that felt particularly heavy in my pocket.

Luna was the first to arrive. I didn’t really know what she was up to most of the time, but she seemed to be working on some kind of personal project. Anne came next, her progress with the healers had been about as non-existent as mine with the Keepers, so she didn’t have to work long hours either. With her life-sight she immediately noticed the wound on my arm.  
“What happened?” she asked and eyed me with concern. 

“It’s just a graze, nothing to worry about,” I tried to assure her. “Some Crusader goons tried to abduct me again, but it’s fine now. I’ll tell you the full story once Vari gets here.”  
Anne wasn’t entirely placated, but she joined Arachne, Luna and me by the sofas and kindly healed my injury.

About twenty minutes later the last of our round arrived.

“Sorry guys, Landis needed me. What’s the emergency?” 

“Alex got attacked today,” Luna replied. 

“Yes, but that’s not why I called you,” I said. “It took me a while to shake the attackers off, so I got too late to work and had to explain to Morden.”

“And he gave you shit about that?” Variam frowned.

I shook my head. “Not really, but the problem is that he decided that it’s his responsibility to make sure something like that doesn’t happen again.”

“But wouldn’t that be good?” Luna asked. “Why not let Morden and the Crusaders bash each other’s heads in?”

“Yeah no, sadly that’s not what he meant with that.” I took a deep breath. “He told to move in with him.” 

My friends stared at me and the only noise in the shocked silence was the reassuring tak tak tak of Arachne’s knitting. 

“Can’t you just…tell him no?” Luna said carefully.

I huffed. “Tried that, no chance. He’s set on it.” 

“So you’re just gonna do it?” Variam asked with a mix of disbelief and accusation. 

“Of course not!” I snapped, probably with more force than necessary. “In case you don’t recall, I’ve already lived with a Dark mage once, and that didn’t really turn out so great. So no, I don’t have any intentions of repeating that experience.” 

The others looked down sheepishly, and regretting my harsh tone I added more softly, “That’s why I called you. So that we can come up with a plan.”

Whenever you are unable to find a solution for a problem yourself, it usually helps to get more people thinking on it, because every different perspective might offer new insights and ideas. This time however, our brainstorming session sadly didn’t lead to anything even resembling something of a plan. None of the ideas ranging from trying to negotiate with Morden to running or fighting held up to scrutiny. 

Frustrated Luna dropped her head back against the sofa. “Why does he even want this? Sorry, but I don’t quite buy that ‘it’s his responsibility’ crap.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I agreed. “I guess there might be some truth in that replacing your aides is annoying, but surely there’d be other ways to avoid that.”

“Maybe he has some other plans he needs you in his house for?” Anne suggested. 

“No idea. Maybe he knows about the reports I’m giving to Talisid and wants to put an end to them that way? Or stop me from making plans against him?”

“You think he intends to keep you locked up?” The alarm in Anne’s vice was unmistakable. 

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Screw Morden!” Variam snapped suddenly. “Can’t you just not go?”

“And risk the deaths of people I care about?” I shook my head. “No way.”

“Then what are we going to do?” Luna asked, sounding a little desperate. 

Arachne, who had mostly stayed out of our conversation so far, started folding up her finished knitting and said, “It appears to me that this discussion is rather pointless, given that Alex doesn’t seem to have a choice either way.” She tucked the fabric away in the silence following her words. 

I didn’t like it at all, but I had to agree with her. As much as I wished otherwise, just like with working for Richard and Morden in general, there was no way for me to refuse the request.  
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll go.”

“But what if he does lock you up? Or has some other horrible motive?” Anne asked worried.

I shrugged. “Then I’ll have to find a way to deal with it, should it come to that.” 

~~~

The red gatestone Morden had given me took me into a beautiful forest area. Everything around radiated peacefulness, but I didn’t trust that impression one bit and was rigorously checking for danger from any directions. It wasn’t that I expected Morden to attack me, strangely enough he was one of the few powerful people that hadn’t tried to kill me yet. Onyx however was an entirely different thing. Only when I was completely sure that there weren’t any traps waiting for me, I followed the winding path down the hill.

Set in a heavily shrouded valley, Morden’s mansion looked both impressive and charming in the colourful light of the sunset. I would have almost called it inviting, hadn’t I known whom it belonged to. Feeling small in comparison to the sheer size of the house, I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. 

I didn’t have to wait long until a young blonde woman opened the door.  
“Mage Verus,” she greeted politely and invited me inside. “Please, follow me.”

She offered to carry my suitcase, which I declined, and then lead me up the stairs and through wood panelled corridors. I remembered her from my first involuntary stay at this mansion; her name was Lisa and she was one of Morden’s house slaves. It looked like she remembered me too, as she sadly appeared to be just as scared of interacting with me as a couple of years ago. I was sorry to see her still here, but I suppose it was something of a good sign that she had made it this long.

“Your room,” Lisa said and opened the door for me. Thanking her I stepped inside.

It was not the same room I had stayed in before, but a bigger one at the other side of the mansion. It was bright and cosy, with a broad bed, a wardrobe, a bookcase, a table with comfortable looking chairs and tall windows looking out over the rolling hills. A second door lead into an elegant bathroom, equipped with everything you’d expect there and a free-standing bathtub that was almost big enough for two people. All in all it seemed like a nice play to stay, but that didn’t really take away the unease I felt. A gilded cage was still a cage. But hey, at least it wasn’t a cell, so that should count as something positive. 

Lisa had remained standing in the room, head and eyes lowered, and growing nervous at my close inspection of the furniture. “Mage Verus, if this room isn’t pleasing to you, we could prepare another one for you too.”

“No no, this one is great, thank you,” I quickly assured her. “And please drop the ‘Mage Verus’ stuff; I’m Alex.” I gave her an encouraging smile, but she didn’t respond to it. 

“Master Morden expects you for dinner at seven in the west wing dining room. Would you like me to show you the way?” she asked, visibly relieved when I shook my head and she was allowed to leave. My divination had shown that attempting to ask her questions wouldn’t have resulted in any useful information but would have only unsettled her further. Generally she made the impression of being scared of upsetting me. 

Pathwalking helped me confirm that the layout of the mansion hadn’t changed in the last years, and I wouldn’t have any troubles finding the west wing dining room. The interdiction spells and wards didn’t allow any gating, but I was surprised to see that nothing would stop me from leaving the house by foot. Lisa had joined a brunette girl in the kitchen to help with cooking; Morden probably was in his private rooms, which I didn’t even dare entering pathwalking, and Onyx… ouch, he definitely did not appreciate my presence here.  
I thought about putting my clothes into the wardrobe and decided against it. Morden might have won this round, but I wouldn’t give in so easily.

Because I wasn’t keen on being too late twice in day, I was the first to arrive in the dining room. It too was elegantly furnished and a long table with tasteful flower arrangements dominated the room. Only three places were set at one end, and while I was quite sure that the seat at the head would be Morden’s, I’d rather avoid finding out the traditional seating order the painful way, and chose to remain standing. I could see a neatly kept garden through the windows, and everything around seemed inviting, comfortable and friendly. Yet I was unable to relax, and my entire body was on high alert, ready to fight or flee at any sign of danger.

The futures flickered and I spun around, hand clenching around the stun focus in my pocket. Onyx marched in, stopped in his tracks when he saw me and scowled. We stared at each other, not moving and waiting for the other to act first. If I used the focus that could buy me a couple of seconds, but it wouldn’t be enough to avoid Onyx’s force blade. The futures of him deciding to attack first were coming closer and closer as well…

The door opened and Morden entered, Lisa and the other girl following on his heels with trays. Onyx stepped down immediately, and I released the breath I’d been holding.  
“Good evening,” Morden said, and took a seat at the head of the table. Onyx sat to his right and after an expectant look, I took the remaining chair to his left. 

“I hope you have arrived well and find the room to your satisfaction?” Morden asked as the girls started serving the food. 

“Yes,” I replied curtly. 

“Good. If there is anything you need, you can ask Selene and Lisa; I have instructed them to obey you, but please keep in mind that I would be quite upset if any harm came to them.”  
He gave me a stern glance, and I felt indagated about the assumptions about me carried with that admonition. 

Morden took my silence as agreement and continued.  
“Another thing I will not tolerate – ah, thank you, Selene – is any kind of fighting inside the house. I am aware that you and Onyx have some childish feud, but I strongly implore you to put it aside while you are my guests.” 

It made me angry that he talked as if it had been me who’d started the ‘feud’ and like it was my fault that Onyx wanted to kill me; but the way Onyx shrunk under Morden’s stern gaze did give me some satisfaction. 

Onyx continued throwing killing glances at me across the table that Morden pretended not to notice. I mostly concentrated on the food, which was probably the best Shepperd’s pie I’ve ever had, and definitely the only good thing in this situation. Morden might not have dragged me into the torture chamber yet, but dinner with him and Onyx was its own form of torture. Hell, if I would have to do this every day, I’d consider letting Levistus kill me. 

Morden didn’t drop his civilised mask all evening. He luckily gave up on trying to make small-talk with me rather quickly and shifted to asking Onyx questions about his studies. While Onyx answered those quite curtly too, I was surprised to see how polite he could be. Though looking at how little Onyx usually spoke in general, I guess it was more surprising that he was even able to string more than two sentences together. 

After dinner Morden bid me a good night and I was thankfully left to my own devices. Deciding that I definitely deserved some rest after this day, I tried out the bathtub with a soothing bubble bath. Sufficiently assured that the room was locked and warded, and that there was no danger to be detected, I went to bed. Despite it being very comfortable, it took me a long time to fall asleep.


	4. Shattered Glass

When I had arrived at Morden’s mansion two weeks ago, I hadn’t expected to leave it any time soon, besides being taken to the War Rooms for work. Now you can imagine my shock when instead of keeping me captive, all Morden did was handing me a pair of keys with the order to return to the house every night for sleeping. 

“But apart from that I can just go?” I had asked disbelievingly, which amused him. 

“Well of course, what did you expect? I certainly do not care about where you choose to spend your time.” 

I didn’t want to argue with that and took the opportunity to stay out as much as possible, leaving early in the mornings and returning late in the evenings, and generally doing my best to avoid the other inhabitants. To my great relief the joint dinner had been a one-off thing. Even Onyx usually got his food directly from the kitchen and by checking with my divination it was easy to avoid accidentally running into him there. Morden always took his meals alone in the dining room, which did seem a little lonely to me; but my compassion wasn’t nearly strong enough the compel me to join him. 

I mostly ate out or with Lisa and Selene. After my insistence on cooking, doing the laundry and other household tasks for myself turned out to only mess up their schedule and increase their workload, I gave up on trying to help them and just let them do their jobs. They were quite wary of me at first, but with time started opening up more, and soon felt comfortable enough to speak freely with me. The only topic they refused to talk about was their master. Whenever I tried to ask for any kind of information there, they shut down immediately, and particularly resisted against saying anything negative about him. Whether it was out of fear or some misplaced sense of loyalty, I couldn’t quite tell. 

Whatever sinister motives Morden might have he didn’t show, and so I settled into a semi-comfortable routine. But of course it was impossible for the peace to last.

~~~

I had returned to the mansion after a long day of training with Anne and was already fantasising about my warm and cosy bed when I met Selene on the stairs.

“Is Lisa serving Morden alone tonight?” I asked and fell into step besides her. 

She shook her head. “No, he is out.”

“Out where?” I tried for more detail. Since I knew it wasn’t council related, that could mean it had something to do with Richard… 

“Out,” Selene repeated. “He will return in the morning.”

Having the feeling that she knew a lot more than she let on I scanned the futures for the best strategy to continue my questioning, but suddenly all possibilities in that direction disappeared.

I ducked just in time before a force blade cut through the spot my head had been in less than a second ago. Selene screamed and I could only hope that she hadn’t been hit in my stead. I looked up and locked eyes with Onyx, standing at the other end of the hallway. He sneered.   
The futures were wild, but there was one thing they all had in common: if I didn’t move right now, I’d be dead. 

Jumping back behind a big cabinet I narrowly avoided another hit that would have pierced my skull, and frantically searched for something to use as a weapon.

“I see you really haven’t changed,” Onyx mocked, slowly coming closer. “Still not good for anything but running and hiding.” 

"And you’re still an ill-tempered, violent idiot, so no change there either,” I shot back. My search for a weapon came up empty, the only thing within reach was a decorative Chinese vase. 

“I really don’t get why Morden keeps you around,” Onyx continued. “I am his Chosen, I should have been his aide, not you!” 

Peaking my head out would immediately result in getting it cut off, but at least I could see that Selene was unharmed and had taken cover under a table. Smart girl. 

“Speaking of Morden,” I said, “Didn’t he explicitly tell us not to fight in the house?”

Onyx grinned. “Yes, but Morden isn’t here right now.” He slowly rounded the cabinet, clearly enjoying my rising fear. 

“Sure, but he’ll be very upset once he comes back,” I bluffed, not at all sure whether he would actually care about my death at all. 

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it’ll be worth it once you’re dead.” 

And dead I would be, if I didn’t come up with something soon. Preferably in the next five seconds, because that was about as long as it would take Onyx to get me into his reach. Looking around, there was no way out. If I tried running through the narrow corridors, that would give him a too clear target with not enough space for me to manoeuvre but staying to fight without a weapon would be suicide too. There was only one option left.

Onyx stepped into my vision and before he could cast a spell, I threw the vase at him and ran. The vase shattered against his force shield, and I really didn’t what to know how many thousands of pounds I had just ruined. Onyx charged again and I narrowly avoided a spearhead like force-projectile, crossing the room in big steps and throwing myself up against the window. 

It shattered with an explosion of glass and I fell, landing hard on my shoulder and quickly rolling to get up again. Without wasting a second to catch my breath I sprinted towards the treeline, using my divination to avoid the force blades Onyx sent after me. 

Only after was safely out of reach did I dare to stop and open a gate.

_Screw Morden_ , I thought, _this night I’ll stay at Arachne’s._

~~~

The night on the sofa hadn’t exactly helped the pain in my shoulder, but at least the cuts from the glass shards had stopped bleeding. I’d been lucky that the window had been made of old, thin glass and that it had only been on the first floor.

Morden’s reaction didn’t leave me waiting for too long, a text from him politely telling me to _‘present myself to his study at my earliest convenience’_ arrived while I was having breakfast. I really didn’t want to find out what he would have to say about the broken vase and the window, and least of all about the fact that his order about fighting inside the house hadn’t been followed.

Sure, it had been Onyx who started it and I had barely done anything besides running and ducking, but I didn’t expect Morden to care about that. Or that he’d believe me over the lies Onyx would tell. No matter how little I understood that decision, he was still his Chosen. 

Because I was even less keen on what would happen if I refused, I thanked Arachne for the accommodation and reluctantly gated back to the mansion. 

 

It was a beautiful sunny morning; the window still appeared to be broken, but someone had closed the frame with cardboard and cleaned up the shards beneath. I hesitated when I saw who I would meet on the way but continued down the corridor when no possibility of violence seemed likely. Onyx scowled at me and I met his glare with equal grimness. 

“This is all your fault,” he hissed, keeping as much space as possible between us in the hallway.

“Excuse me?” I snapped indignantly. “Who was the one who attacked me for no reason?”

Onyx scoffed and shook his head.

 

Morden’s study reminded me a lot of his office in the War Rooms, with the difference of it being bigger and brighter with the tall French windows looking out over the garden. He was sitting behind his desk and didn’t look up from the file he was reading when Onyx and I entered the room. 

At the wall to my right Selene stood with her hands clasped behind her back and head lowered, not showing any reaction to our entrance either. Onyx shot her an angry look. Coming to an uneasy hold in front of the desk, I positioned myself between them.

Something about this situation made me feel as if I was back in school again; called to the principal for fighting in the schoolyard. Only that back then the worst thing that could have happened was a phone call to the parents, while now I didn’t really have a clue, though judging by how nervous Onyx seemed, it couldn’t be good. At least there was no clear sign of violence in the near futures.

After what felt like a deliberately long waiting time, Morden finally put down the file and looked at us.

“Verus. Onyx.” He nodded in greeting. “It appears that although I was only away for a day, someone managed to break an expensive Ming vase… and a window.”   
His gaze rested on me and I opened my mouth to defend myself, but he silenced me with a raised hand. Fuming at the injustice I crossed my arms defiantly.

Morden continued. “I’m sure you can imagine my disbelief at the answer my inquiry brought. After all I don’t remember being subtle about my stance on fighting inside the house.”

“Onyx just attacked me out of the blue!” I protested, unable to hold back my anger. “Sorry I broke your stuff, I’ll pay for it if you want, but what was I supposed to do? Just stand by and let your crazy Chosen kill me? It was his fault!”

Morden said nothing during my passionate outbreak, if anything he seemed to find it amusing.   
“I’m aware,” he said when I was done, and glanced briefly at Selene. “I know what happened.”

“Oh,” I said quietly, feeling a little silly. Onyx shot me an annoyed look.

Morden cleared his throat. “I had hoped that you would be able to resolve your issues like adults, and I don’t think I have to tell you how very disappointed I am. There won’t be any fights in this house – or the garden and estates, for that matter – again. Not for retribution,” he looked at me for that, “or any other reason. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” I mumbled embarrassed and Onyx echoed, “Yes, master.”

“Good.” Morden leaned back, looking pleased. “Verus, Selene, you are dismissed. Onyx, stay for a moment, please.”

I saw a brief flash of pure fear on Onyx’s face and would have felt sorry for him, hadn’t he just tried to kill me less than ten hours ago. Before Morden could reconsider, I left the study with Selene.

“Thank you for telling him the truth,” I said. “Are you going to be okay though? Onyx did look quite angry at you.”

Selene shrugged. “Sure, but I’ll be fine. He isn’t allowed to touch me. And after this, he probably won’t dare to step over the line again soon.”

“What will Morden do to him now?” I asked and looked back over my shoulder. Selene shrugged again, and I decided that I’d rather not stay around to find out.


	5. Framed

Whatever it was Morden had done with Onyx, it finally seemed to have carried the message home, because true to what Selene had said, Onyx did stay in line for now. He was still thinking about attacking me whenever we accidentally crossed paths, but it never resulted in anything more than murderous stares.

 

If there was one person who had been delighted by my new living conditions, it was Talisid.

“You have access to his house now, surely there’s something to be found there,” he said over the communicator. 

I rolled my eyes. “And what exactly do you hope for me to find there? A scrapbook under his bed titled _‘My evil plans’_?” I checked my surroundings in the park for potential listeners again. “There won’t be anything for me to find, because he’s not fucking stupid.”

“Fine.” Talisid sounded annoyed too. “And what is up with this communications office idea?” 

“It’s supposed to be an attempt to improve the communications between the Council and the rest of the Mages, especially Dark and Independent ones,” I explained.

“Yes, but what is Morden’s goal?”

“Didn’t I just say that? To improve the communications.”

Talisid sighed. “Sure, but why would Morden want that?”

"Maybe because it’s something people want?” I said, getting more and more irritated with each question. “All Morden has been trying to do so far is gaining acceptance and popularity, and this fits right in with that.” 

“If you say so,” Talisid relented. “But be careful, Verus. Don’t make the mistake to forget that Morden has a more dangerous agenda than we might realise right now.”

~~~

_June_

To placate Talisid’s concerns, I did increase my efforts in gathering information, and in hopes of learning more of his goals that way, made the mistake to offer Morden my help with the paperwork. It soon became something of a routine for us to work on it together in the evenings, but so far everything I’d learned was how very boring bureaucracy was. So boring in fact, that it was me who actually tried to initiate conversations with Morden now, because anything had to be better than reading another report on administrative funding. 

“So how did your meeting with Horos go?” I asked. We were sitting on the veranda in the dimming light of the sunset, both with a glass of wine and a regrettably tall stack of files next to us. 

“About as well as I expected,” Morden said. “He was still reluctant to share his insight with me, but I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.”

“What did you ask him anyways?” Horos was one of the diviners employed by the council who in contrast to me focused more on broader and long-term futures, so this might be a clue about what it was Morden aimed to achieve. 

“That is no concern of yours,” Morden replied curtly.

“Come on, I’m your aide,” I prodded. “Shouldn’t I know such things?”

Morden put down his pen and threw me an annoyed glance. “Do you always ask so many questions about things you’d do better to keep your nose out?”

“Hey, I’m a diviner!” I said and grinned at him. “We’re naturally curious.”

“Maybe that’s the reason for why there’s only so few of you,” Morden retorted and although the words sounded like a threat, his tone didn’t have any real sharpness to it.

“Well, that’s not really on us diviners though, more on the people whose only solution to problems is murder,” I joked back. For a moment I was scared of having pushed him to far, but instead of getting angry Morden laughed. It was a nice laugh, I noted with surprise, silvery and full of warmth, and I somehow couldn’t help awkwardly smiling back at him.

~~~

I was sitting in my booth in the anteroom before the Star Chamber and congratulated myself on the deal I’d just made with Druss’ aide, Ophelia. But my divination told me that the next caller wouldn’t be as enjoyable.

“So did he do it?” Ictis asked without any preamble. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I said truthfully.

Ictis narrowed his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Verus, everyone knows Horos refused your bosses request.”

“So?”

“So?” Ictis called out. “He was found tortured to death this morning!” 

A cold shiver ran over my back. “And you think Morden did it?” I asked slowly. 

“Well?” Ictis demanded.

“Well what?”

“Did he do it?”

I looked at him blankly. After waiting for me to reply didn’t lead to any success Ictis scoffed and walked away. 

My mind spun. Did he do it? Had Morden tortured Horos to death? It was true that he had met him and didn’t get what he wanted, but had he really tortured him for the information and killed him once he had it? Feeling a little queasy I thought back to the conversation we’d had on his veranda three days ago. Maybe his words hadn’t just been a joke after all?

Before I could think better of it, I texted him.   
_Did you do it?_  
By the speed with which he replied I could tell about how boring his current meeting must be.   
_No. They are trying to frame me._

Well, this answer was about what I had expected, and it wasn’t even that unlikely either. In my short time of working for Morden there had been at least ten separate attempts made to unseat him, that I knew of. But still. Could I really trust him on this? 

I groaned when I saw that the next person to approach me would be Julia. Just like Ictis she didn’t waste any time on pleasantries before she asked, “Did he do it?” 

“No, of course not,” I replied. “He’s being framed.”

“Oh yeah?” Julia sounded upset. “It was confirmed that part of the torture was caused by life magic.”

I laughed hollowly. “Morden is a death mage, not a life mage.”

“Sure, but Walker is,” Julia said triumphantly. 

“What?” I was speechless for a moment. “That’s ridiculous, Anne would never do something like that!”

Julia regarded me coldly. “Are you sure? A necklace of hers was found at the crime scene, clutched in the hand of the victim!” 

“Listen, that’s bullshit,” I implored her. “Morden didn’t do this, and Anne definitely didn’t either.”

“Sure,” she said, sounding not one bit convinced. “Just so you know, Alma will vote in favour of an impeachment, should it come to that.”

~~~

“They’re trying to frame Anne!” I told Morden as soon as the door of his office had closed behind us. After contemplating the issue back and forth I had finally concluded that this probably really was a ploy to unseat Morden – trying to frame one of his own liaisons wouldn’t make any sense at all.

“I know,” Morden said tensely. “The Keepers have taken her in for questioning.”

“Fuck,” I said and started pacing. “If that necklace really is hers, they must have stolen it. Who are ‘they’ anyways?” I stopped to look at Morden.

“Levistus’ people, probably. Though I am not someone to wildly point my finger at anyone, of course.” 

I rolled my eyes. Leaning casually against his desk he looked as calm and confident as always, but from the tension in his jaw I could tell that that wasn’t the entire truth. 

Morden continued. “The accusations stem from Undaaris – but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that he basically does whatever Levistus tells him to. Besides, in my last conversation with Horos he did mention refusing Levistus as well only recently.”

“Hmm,” I said, thoughtfully chewing on my lip. “We’ll need more proof than that if we want to convince anyone.”

“How lucky for me to have a liaison with the Keepers then.” Morden smiled at me. 

I huffed. “So you’re just going to wait for me to solve this?”

“Of course not,” he said and stood up straighter. “This matter is too important. The first thing that will have to be done is finding out who truly committed this horrible crime – and then prove their connection to Levistus.”

I nodded in agreement, this sounded like solid objective. But how to go about achieving it? 

“It’s a pity I can’t ask Sonder for help…”

“Sonder?” Morden frowned.

“A time mage I used to be friends with,” I explained. “I would like to take a look at the crime scene and his powers would have been very helpful.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you with your lost friendships, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue to organise a time mage for you,” Morden said nonchalantly. 

“Good,” I said after a pause, for once feeling grateful about the amount of resources Morden had access to. “I’ll see what I can find with the Keepers too – and you’ll try to get Anne out?”

Morden gave me a curt nod, already typing away on his phone. “I’ll see what I can do.”

~~~

My frustrations were running very high when I returned to the mansion late in the afternoon. Trying to get any intel out of the Keepers had been without result as no one was willing to talk to me. They even refused to let me see the case file, but luckily it wasn’t too difficult for me to guess the database password.

Half an hour later I had met up with the time mage Morden had sent, a red-haired woman named Meridia, at the address contained in the file. The Keepers on guard duty allowed us inside the empty warehouse very reluctantly, and only after they’d checked the legitimacy of my official Council warrant with their superiors. There weren’t really any clues to find in the bare warehouse and the corpse had already been taken away, which I had to admit I was quite thankful for. The bloodstains on the concrete floor were bad enough. 

Unfortunately I had gone through all the trouble for nothing, because although Meridia was a competent mage and searched very thoroughly, she wasn’t able to see anything. The entire area had been shrouded, and quite professionally so. Grumpy about the dead ends I hoped that Morden had been more successful.

 

Hurrying up the stairs from the entrance hall I would have almost collided with someone, hadn’t my precognition warned me just in time. 

“Verus.” Cinder paused on the step next to me. “Are you here for a briefing too?”

“No,” I said. “I guess I kind of live here now?”

“What?” Cinder looked at me surprised. “But I thought you hated Morden.”

“Well it’s certainly not by choice!” I snapped back, causing him to raise his hands in defence.

“Damn, is it that bad?”

I hesitated. Was it that bad? Of course I still hated Morden and that I’d been forced to live with him – but I had to admit that so far none of the horror scenarios I’d imagined turned out to be true. In this moment I realised that I had mostly arranged myself with the new conditions – and that I even felt somewhat safe in the mansion.   
I didn’t have to worry about the Crusaders and even Onyx was holding back now. Sure, the torture chamber was still very much there, but since I’d never seen it in action in the time I’d been here now, it didn’t seem all that threatening either. Living with Morden had surprisingly turned out to be quite chill. All he insisted on was that I slept here at night and apart from that I could do whatever I wanted. And it definitely was less stressful than constantly moving from hotel to hotel.

“It’s alright, I guess,” I replied to Cinder’s question eventually. “I’m sorry, I’m actually in a bit of a hurry right now-“

“Of course,” Cinder said. “Don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

On the way I said hi to Kyle and Selene, who were talking in the corridor, and via pathwalking found Morden in one of the many sitting rooms.

“Anne?” I asked and fell onto the sofa across Morden’s armchair. 

He shook his head. “They insisted on keeping her for questioning. They did however allow me to talk to her. She confirmed that the necklace is hers and said that she’d thought it lost or misplaced.” 

“Damn.” I grimaced. “What about an alibi?”

“Sadly no; she said she was alone in her flat sleeping,” Morden replied and crossed one leg over the other. “Any luck on your end?”

“No,” I said bitterly. “None of the Keepers will talk to me and the place was time shrouded.”

“Hmm.” Only the quick tapping of his fingers against the armrest betrayed Morden’s agitation. “I do have a plan of how to get information on potential suspects, but it will take a while. A couple of weeks, maybe.”

Frustrated I ran a hand through my hair. “Anne doesn’t have that kind of time. Maybe we should shift our focus from trying to find out who did it to proving it wasn’t her?”

Morden narrowed his eyes. “That wouldn’t be enough to stop them from trying to frame me.”

Of course, this was where our current truce ended. I wanted to help Anne, while all he wanted was to help himself. I calmly met his eyes. 

“But,” Morden said, “It will serve in buying some time. So if you have any ideas, please, I’m all ears.” His trademark smile was back, and I slowly let out the breath I’d been holding.

“Well, Meridia didn’t get anything at the crime scene because it was shrouded. But surely Anne’s apartment isn’t.”

Morden’s eyes gleamed as he understood the plan immediately. “It would have to be an official Council mage to give that testimony though,” he pointed out.

“Can’t a Councillor order an investigation?”

“I doubt it would be accepted as truthful if the Councillor who is under suspicion themselves did so,” he said, getting up from his chair and started walking towards the door. “But I’m sure I can convince Metis to do it in my stead. She does owe me a favour after I supported her proposal.”

He grinned at me and patted my shoulder in passing. “Well done, Verus.” 

I felt a faint blush creep into my cheeks at the unexpected praise. 

“This isn’t over though,” Morden said, turning back to look at me in the doorway. “I don’t think I have to remind you of why it is of personal interest to you that I keep my Council seat, do I?”

“No,” I replied, suddenly feeling a lot less ecstatic than before. “You don’t.”


	6. Spring Ball

Anne looked tired when I picked her up at the Keepers’ station two days later. True to his word Morden had managed to convince Metis of ordering a time mage to investigate Anne’s flat quickly after I’d set up a meeting with her aide. The report confirmed that it was impossible for Anne to have committed the crime, and after some more haggling the Keepers finally agreed to let her go free of charges.

“Are you okay?” I asked and awkwardly patted her back when she hugged me. 

“Yes,” she replied, not letting go. “Thank you for getting me out.”

“Of course.” I gently pushed her back by the shoulders. Yes, she really looked tired; her face was paler than usual and there were dark bags under her eyes. 

“Come,” I said. “Let’s get you home.”

 

“Morden said he talked to you?” I said and got two mugs from the cupboard.

Anne was sitting at her kitchen table and watched me making tea. “Yes.”

“And?”

She shrugged. “I guess it was nice to talk to someone who believed me for a change.”

I winced a little. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.” The kettle whistled and I poured the boiling water into the teapot. “It’s really not fair you got accused of something you didn’t do again.”

“It’s not as if I’m not used to this kind of thing from Light mages,” Anne said bitterly. “If I didn’t have to work there, I definitely wouldn’t want to associate with them.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I said after a pause. Setting the teapot down on the table I took the chair next to Anne.

“The murder…” Anne started slowly. “Do you know who…?”

I shook my head. “No, not yet. Morden said he has a plan on how to get information about potential suspects, but until then it’ll be mostly trying to convince people of his innocence.” 

“And who knows,” I added and poured us tea. “Maybe the Keepers will find the real culprit themselves.”

Anne gave a strangled laugh, and I grimly agreed with that assessment.

~~~

“Good,” Morden said. “That will be all for now. I will see you tonight at eight?”

“At eight? But won’t you go to the Spring Ball tonight?” The Council session had finished early today, and we were just outside the War Rooms.

“Of course I will,” Morden replied. “As will you.”

I stopped short. “What? But why?”

“Why not? It’s an official Council event and you are an official Council mage.” Morden didn’t slow down, and I had to hurry to catch up with him on the sidewalk. 

“Yes, but…” I started. “That kind of social stuff really isn’t my kind of thing. I don’t know what use I’d be to you there.”

“What use you’d be?” Morden sounded amused. “The same use as always, Verus. What, did you think those balls were just for amusement? Making an impression and looking good?” 

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I muttered an affirmation. 

He shook his head. “This is the Council, Verus, everything is political. And these balls are nothing but an excuse to continue the usual dealings under the semblance of light-heartedness.”

“Oh.” I felt more than just a little embarrassed. “So I’ll really have to go?”

“I’m afraid so, yes.” Morden chuckled quietly. “It should be a perfect opportunity for you to exert some more pressure on Undaaris about the Horos case.”

I sighed, there went my plan of a quiet evening alone. 

Suddenly a thought hit me. “I don’t have anything to wear.” 

The usual cheap suits I wore for work probably wouldn’t do for an event like this. I’d bought them last minute for this job after most of my clothes were lost in the fire, and getting new ones from Arachne while I had them seemed like a waste. And although Arachne was very fast with what she did, there wasn’t enough time for her either now. 

“You don’t? Oh well.” Morden abruptly changed directions. “Come, we’ll rectify that.”

~~~

A bell chimed when we stepped through the door, and I curiously looked around. There were mannequins showing off all kinds of suits, rows of fabric lined the walls and even more jackets, trousers, vests and shirts were displayed on racks across the room. Everything in the shop looked pristine and expensive, and I couldn’t help but feel horribly cheap in comparison. Unlike Morden, who seemed to fit right in.

It didn’t take long for an assistant to notice us.

“Mr Morden!” The young man smiled. He had light blond hair and looked quite smart in his vest and tie. “What can I do for you, sir? Was there an issue with the new suit?”

“No, no, Paul, nothing like that.” Morden smiled back. “The suit is perfect – actually I’m looking for a matching one for Mr Verus here.” 

“Of course, sir, right away.” Paul showed Morden to an elegant red couch, and another assistant offered us drinks, which I declined. “Tailored, as usual?”

Morden sighed. “No, I’m afraid we don’t have time for that. But please do add three more business suits to be tailored – so he will have something proper to wear for work.” 

“Hey, I already have suits for work,” I protested. 

Morden looked me up and down sceptically. “I said something _proper_.”

I set on to complain that yes, maybe this was just a cheap suit I’d bought at a discounter, but it was fine enough and surely it wasn’t that bad…

“He’s right, you know,” Paul said emphatically and pulled me towards a thick curtain. 

In the privacy of the changing room he took my measurements, left and then returned with one suit after another for me to try on, all while chatting nonstop. Finally we settled on a dark blue jacket and pants, which he called navy, with a white shirt and dark blue tie, which apparently wasn’t navy. 

“Shall we go show it to your partner?” Paul asked.

It took a moment until it dawned on me what he meant. I was mortified. “No, no, no, he’s not – we’re not – we just work together. He’s my boss, actually,” I stuttered to explain. 

“Oh, of course, sir, I apologise,” Paul appeased, but I wasn’t entirely sure whether he believed me. 

I decided to just take the suit to get out of here as quickly as possible but started to regret that decision when I got a glimpse of the price tag. Of course I knew that money didn’t mean anything to most mages, but just the thought of spending that much on a piece of clothing seemed obscene to me. 

Morden sat on a sofa in the salesroom with a glass of sparkling wine, scrolling through his phone. Probably checking his emails, that workaholic. 

He looked up and smiled. “Found something?”

I nodded mutely; this entire experience put me out of my depth. This was certainly not my kind of society, and it was generally a very awkward situation. Morden and I usually only interacted in work settings and buying a suit with him in his usual shop felt strangely private. 

Also seeing the way he talked and joked with the assistants was weird, I wasn’t used to people being neither hateful nor scared of him. They didn’t know anything about how very powerful and dangerous he was, or the horrible things he had done. All they saw was a handsome and charming costumer, who was polite and paid well. 

“Morden?” I said quietly while Paul packed up the suit. “The suit is great and all, but… I don’t think I can afford to spend that much money on it. Least of all on three more tailored ones.” 

Morden nodded once. “That is not a problem,” he said, and handed the assistant a black credit card when asked. 

I mumbled a thanks, feeling very uncomfortable about owing him. With the amount of money he had he probably wouldn’t even think twice about this expense, but I still didn’t like it at all. It didn’t seem like something worth antagonising him over either though. 

No, I decided, I definitely would not count this as a favour. After all, he didn’t even truly buy the suit for me, but for himself so that his aide would make more of an impression. Everything was political with the Council.

~~~

Five minutes to eight o’clock I met Morden in the entrance hall. I was wearing the new suit and had even tried to style my hair a little, but with the critical way Morden stared at me, I couldn’t help but feel that there was still something wrong.

Morden himself looked absolutely flawless, of course. Dark hair styled as usual with not a single strand out of place, sharp eyebrows, smooth skin and his suit a perfect fit. It was black while mine was blue, so I didn’t really see how they matched, but hey, I’m not a fashion expert. 

“Now who would have thought; you actually do clean up nicely when you’re making an effort,” Morden said with a smirk. I huffed and tried my hardest not to bat his hands away when he adjusted the lapels of my jacket. 

“I don’t get why it’s called _Spring_ Ball,” I grumbled and followed Morden outside. “It’s in June, that’s summer.”

“Because there already is a Summer Ball in August,” Morden replied, starting to open a gate.

“Will I have to go there too?”

“Of course,” Morden said and I groaned.

“But not to worry, there are a lot of smaller balls in-between as well,” he added with a sly grin. He finished up the gate and gestured towards it. “Please, after you.”

~~~

The ball was held at Canary Wharf and was already in full swing when we arrived. We split up and I quickly found out that Morden had been right about balls being just an excuse to continue business as usual. This could have been a good opportunity to push for some of Morden’s current goals, like establishing the communications office or appointing a Dark mage to the apprentice committee. But there was another matter that required more immediate attention.

“Come on Lyle, even you have to admit that it would make absolutely no sense to frame his own liaison,” I implored. “And Anne has been proven innocent. Holding on to this can only harm Councillor Undaaris in the long run.”

“Fine,” Lyle finally gave in. “Councillor Undaaris will take back his accusations against Councillor Morden and Mage Walker in the Horos case. Happy now?”

“Yes, thank you,” I replied, and dropped my fake smile the moment he walked off. 

How much this would be worth was unclear, because although the initial claim that Anne had tortured Horos had been disproven, soon new accusations against Morden sprang up from Sal Sarque, with strong support from Alma and Levistus. Out of the Senior Councillors only Druss had promised his support for Morden, as long as there were no condemning proofs, of course.

Bahamus’ aide had evaded my inquiries as much as possible, stating that the Keepers would bring the truth to light eventually, but I felt that he too would vote against Morden. What the last Senior Councillor thought about all this I didn’t know, because as usual Spire wasn’t even present. I envied him. 

Over on the dancefloor I could see Morden leading Metis in an elegant slow foxtrot, most likely thanking her for the assistance. He was a pretty good dancer, I had to admit; radiating nothing but confidence and power. 

The song ended and he parted from Metis with a formal hand kiss, then turned around and waved me over. I expected Morden to lead me to the side or to one of the private meeting rooms, but he stayed on the dancefloor. Perplexed I allowed him to pull me into position.

“What did Lyle say?” he asked, and I stumbled to follow along the steps. 

“Undaaris will take back the accusations,” I said, finding it very hard to concentrate on the conversation. Not only was it confusing to dance the steps the other way around, but I also wasn’t used to not being the one leading, and so Morden had to push me around a lot more forcefully than one generally would.

“Stop fighting for the lead!” he hissed eventually after he’d forced me to spin at the threat of turning my arm out. I willed myself to relax and just follow, which luckily was made easier by my divination. At least he was very clear while leading. 

I continued to give him my report, and after the initial Cha-cha-cha came a Viennese waltz, and it became very hard not to get distracted by the closeness. Of course it didn’t matter, Morden’s magic didn’t require any contact and he could have killed me from across the room just as easily. 

Somehow it still felt quite thrilling. His warm grip around my right hand, his other hand pressed steadily against my back and my left hand resting on his strong arm. This wasn’t even the first time we’d touched, we’d inadvertently brushed fingers when handing each other files lots of times already. And I dreaded to remember the time he’d lifted me by my throat in January. 

“If Tarantis comes asking about this again, just tell him that I know about Glasgow,” Morden said.

“What’s with Glasgow?”

“That does not matter; he will understand.” Morden’s tone left no room for discussion. “Anything else?”

“The Isolationists agreed to the communications deal,” I said. 

“Good job,” Morden praised, and I felt both proud and belittled at the same time. 

“So, are you enjoying the ball?” he asked and lead me into a turn.

I snorted. “No.”

"A pity.” Morden chuckled softly. “Sadly there are no plus-one options at these events, but surely I could invite Miss Walker as another guest too.” 

I frowned. “Why would I want Anne to be here?”

Morden gave me an almost conspiratorial smile. “Oh, I’m sure she could be won over by your dancing.”

“What?” I looked at him sceptically, apparently it was not only his moral compass that was broken, but also his sense of humour. 

“I do dance better when it’s not the steps I’ve never practiced, thanks,” I snapped back. “Also, what would I need to win Anne over for? We’re already friends.”

“Of course.” Morden didn’t stop smiling. “And you are satisfied with that?”

“Yes, of course I am, why wouldn’t I be… Oh.” Suddenly I understood what he meant. “No, that’s not – why would you-“

Morden shrugged. “I just thought, with how worried you were about her…”

“No,” I insisted. “I mean, yes, I was worried about her, but that’s just because she’s my friend. I don’t – I don’t have a crush on her or something like that. She’s kind of a student to me, anyways.”

“Oh, I understand,” Morden said, and he seemed a little embarrassed about having been mistaken. 

I shook my head, how this was the second time someone had assumed something like that about me today? Thinking back to the suit shop I blushed. Had Morden and I really looked like a couple there? Certainly not. It was probably just because he’d paid for me and that wasn’t something you’d expect from co-workers. The shop assistants didn’t know how little that money meant to him, after all. 

Yes, that must have been it. I mean, I wasn’t even into men at all! Was Morden? I sneaked a quick glance at him. As far as I could remember, I’d never seen him act interested in anyone, regardless of gender. I shook my head again; these stupid thoughts didn’t lead to anything. It didn’t matter, and I’d probably do best to just forget this happened. 

When the song ended Morden let me off the dancefloor and we split up again to talk to some more people. Despite my resolution I caught myself watching Morden across the room and wondering multiple times throughout the rest of the evening.


	7. Old and new friends

I went back to the tailor’s shop for fitting sessions alone and soon received three beautifully tailored suits. At first, I played with the idea of burying them in the depths of my closet and never wearing them out of spite, but quickly discarded it as childish. 

Luna for one found the entire thing hilarious.

“Come on Alex, out of everything he’s done buying you expensive suits surely isn’t one of the worst things,” she laughed. 

I huffed. It wasn’t dark yet as we were walking along the Thames after a delicious dinner at Luna’s favourite Thai place. 

“And I really can’t believe he made you dance with him,” she said with a grin. “I would have loved to see that.”

“There wasn’t much to see, it was just awkward,” I grumbled, and Luna snickered. 

“Maybe I should teach you the ladies’ steps, so you won’t be pushed around so much next time,” she suggested.

I rolled my eyes. “Ha ha, very funny.”

We reached the corner where Luna would turn right for her flat and I would continue ahead to find a calm spot in the park to gate. 

“Say hi to Vari from me, when you see him tonight,” I said and winked at her. 

She shook her head. “He’s on some training mission with Landis; won’t be back till Friday.”

We said good-bye and then walked each our own way. After I had thought the ball over, there was one thing I had to give to Morden: discussing business while constantly moving around between other talking people had probably made it very hard for the Council time mages who tried to listen to our conversation later. I only wished I hadn’t told Luna… I was very glad I’d kept the part about Morden thinking I had a crush on Anne and the shop assistant mistaking us for a couple to myself. After the way I’d teased her about her first kiss with Variam, I would never have heard the end of it. 

Using my divination I looked ahead to check whether my usual gating spot would be free tonight, when it soon became clear that if I continued this way, I would never be able to finish conjuring a gate. It appeared that my old friends, the way too violent Crusader goons, had found me again and were following me in an alarmingly shrinking distance. I quickly scouted the perimeter in the futures and yes, the lightning mage from the Vault was here too. 

Without wasting another thought I dove into the bushes to my right and moved away from the path as fast and quietly as possible. Extensive checks confirmed that if I was careful, they wouldn’t find me again. I let out a relieved breath. 

The crisis at hand might have been adverted in the last moment, but it still troubled me. How had they found me? If the lightning mage was here, was his friend the force-light hybrid around too? How long had they been following me? Had they seen me with Luna? 

Giving my would-be pursuers a wide berth I briskly walked back to the street and pulled out my phone, calling Luna. No matter how long I’d wait, there was no future in which she picked up. I cursed and started running. 

I arrived in Luna’s street just in time to hear the bang of a car door slamming shut and to see a black van speeding away. _Fuck!_ A second team of Crusaders, probably lead by the hybrid mage, must have overpowered Luna somehow and dragged her into the van to take her who-knows-where.

Finally a small piece of luck showed in the future. I rushed to stop the taxi and didn’t wait for the driver to get out before I jumped into the backseat. 

“Follow that van, quick!” I called at the surprised driver, who thankfully didn’t ask any questions and obeyed. 

In the London traffic it was hard to stay close to the van – we’d lost sight of it more often than not and I had to rely heavily on my divination to give directions to the driver. He clearly was confused and seemed almost as tense as me, but I was too focussed on the task at hand to give much of a thought about him. Constantly searching all possible roads and turns for there one where I’d glimpse the van demanded all my concentration. 

The sun had set when we left the city and followed the van onto an empty country road. It would continue straight ahead for a while, so I allowed myself to relax a little and fished the ringing phone out of my pocket. 

“They have Luna,” I said without any preamble. 

A pause.

“Where are you?”

I had a look at the next road sign we would pass soon. “A40, near Beaconsfield.”

“So you are in a car?” Morden asked.

“Yes, a taxi” I replied. “They have her in a van, but I don’t understand why you-“ 

Before I could even finish my question, he cut the line. I cursed again; he’d probably just wondered whether I was wilfully defying his order to return to his mansion every night. I really couldn’t care any less about that right now – not while the Crusaders had Luna. Where were they taking her? Did they plan on using her as bait for me? Or were they intending on ‘questioning’ her too? 

I balled my hands into fists, no matter what, I would never let that happen. Thinking about what I’d do once the van arrived at its destination… Calling the Keepers was out, the incident at the Vault had made quite clear that hoping for any help from them against the Crusaders wasn’t a viable option. Variam was away, Anne couldn’t gate… I grimaced, it looked like I wasn’t going to get any back-up. Before I could come up with a plan, the van that was about 150 yards in front suddenly went flying. 

It turned in the air and crashed down to the side of the road. I held on to the seat as the taxi driver slammed on the brakes and protected my eyes from the bight flash of an exploding fireball. When I looked out again there was a flurry of magic – a new group of mages was now fighting with the Crusaders. 

“Go!” I told the driver, opened the door and jumped out of the car. “Just turn around and go!” 

Behind me I could here the taxi following my advice as I ran towards the fire, gunshots and screams ahead. Whoever the attackers were, they clearly had the superior numbers, and it quickly became obvious that the Crusader team was losing the fight. They must have realised this too and before I even reached the conflict the survivors retreated through a hastily opened gate.

The victorious group spotted me, and a tall man came walking towards me. In the flickering light of the burning van I could see that he was at least a head taller than me and built like a tank, had very dark skin, short greying hair and quite a handsome face. But what interested me even more was the small figure he carried in his arms. 

“You’re Verus, right?” the man asked with a pleasantly deep voice and the hint of a French accent. 

“Yes,” I said. In the low light I couldn’t see much of Luna, but I didn’t like how fragile she looked in his arms.

“I’m Calcite,” he said. “Don’t worry, girl’s alright; just knocked out.” 

“Thank you.” I carefully took Luna from him, struggling a little with the weight and was even more impressed with Calcite’s sheer strength. This had to be the earth mage who threw the van, I concluded. “Why?”

Calcite shrugged. “Boss called and said you might need a hand.”

It clicked into place after a moment. 

“Morden sent you?” I asked and took a closer look at the futures in which I approached the other mages. And yes, I had seen some of them arriving at or leaving the mansion for meetings with Morden.

“Yeah,” Calcite said, then nodded at the unconscious girl in my arms. “You got this from here?”

“Yes, thank you.”

He nodded again. “Alright, we’ll take care of this mess.” He waved around, encompassing the burning van and the distinctive shape of bodies on the ground. “See you around, Verus.”

~~~

I was very glad about all the weightlifting I’d done recently, for I don’t think I would have managed to carry Luna to Arachne’s without it. The matter of her curse was a concern as well and while she had it under much better control these days, prolonged physical contact could still become dangerous. I wondered how she managed with Variam.

Anne came immediately when I called her and helped Luna’s body to break down the sedative more effectively, so that Luna woke up not long after. Her story confirmed that it had been the hybrid mage who lead the attack. All she recalled was a sudden bight flash, a prick in her neck and then nothing but darkness. She thanked me for rescuing her and didn’t seem too worried about my admission that not I, but a team of Dark mages sent by Morden had saved her. Anne however shared my concern immediately. 

Why had Morden done this? What advantage did he get from sending his people to save Luna? Why would he care about her? So far, he’d never shown any kind of interest in her and I’d very much prefer it to stay that way. Maybe this hadn’t been about Luna at all, but just to stop me from dying in the hopeless effort of rescuing her by myself? Afterall either he, Richard or both did want me to stay alive for now… the thought of what it was they might need me for made me shudder. Nothing good, that was for sure. 

Or maybe he’d simply consider it a favour to be repaid by me later? Yes, that must be it. I already dreaded to learn what kind of task that might be.

~~~

Two days later I joined Morden in one of his many sitting rooms to help him with the paperwork. So far, he hadn’t even mentioned the rescue, nor what he wanted in return and I was growing nervous. I threw a quick glance at him; he was sitting in an armchair close to the fireplace with one ankle casually resting on the other knee, appearing very relaxed as he filled out a file in his lap.

Hesitantly I cleared my throat. “Morden? I… I wanted to thank you for…you know, for helping me out with the Crusaders.” 

“You are welcome,” he said, not even looking up. “Mage Vesta is alright, I hope?”

“Yes, thank you. So…” I began, nervously licking my lips. I didn’t actually want to ask this, but it was better to just get it out of the way. “So, what is it that you want in return?”

“Hmm?”

“For the favour,” I said. “Why else did you do it, if not for me to return it?” 

Finally he looked up from his file. 

“Do you remember the conversation we had in my living room years ago?” he asked, meeting my gaze with the same assured confidence as always. “Perhaps you will recall the offer I made you back then – you work for me and I provide you with security. Now, I will admit those parameters don’t quite fit on the current situation exactly… but the offer is still open.” 

His words took me by surprise. Of course I remembered the conversation he’d mentioned – as well as the way he had threatened to torture me for ‘disloyalty’ immediately afterwards. But I definitely hadn’t expected him to still offer me those same conditions, after all I had refused them a lot of times already and never made a secret out of my dislike for him and Richard. 

“Why?” I asked eventually. “I don’t have a choice but to work for you anyways.”

“Indeed.” Morden smiled. “I regret that such means were necessary; I do prefer willing servants, you know.”

“Well, and I do prefer not being a servant at all,” I gave back probably a little too hostile for my own health. Luckily, he didn’t take it as offense, for his smile only widened. 

“Of course,” he said, almost sounding pleased. “Be assured, I have no doubt that with your skills you would rise quickly… to a junior partner, perhaps.”

When I said nothing he continued, “You have been away from the family for a long time now – but it is clear that you do still belong with the Dark tradition. Or do you think that the Light mages will ever accept you?” his smile turned a little mocking and he shook his head, “No, Verus, it is time you came home.”

I blinked at him. This was dangerous territory and everything I said next might cost my life. For all I knew, this absurd notion of his was the only thing keeping me alive right now. But for some reason I felt that I owed him the honesty. 

“Morden…” I said slowly, suddenly unable to look at him. “I’m sorry, but… that will never happen. It’s true, I probably won’t ever be a Light mage, but I’m definitely not a Dark one either. And I will never, ever join Richard.” 

I was worried about the way he would react, but there was no violence to be seen in the futures and when I raised my eyes again, I saw that he didn’t even look that disappointed. 

He shrugged. “Never is a very long time, Verus. You know the offer.”

With that the conversation was over for him, but I wasn’t quite done yet. 

“So what about the favour?” I asked again. 

Morden was amused. “You may consider it a reward for the good work you’ve been doing so far, if that makes you feel better. Is this matter settled now?” 

Still not entirely satisfied I agreed, and he turned back to his stack of files. I continued to regard him thoughtfully, confused by the mix of emotions inside me. For one, I was very grateful for his help with the Crusaders. It had probably saved both Luna and me from torture and death. And there wasn’t even any immediate payback required. That should have been a positive thing as well, and yet I couldn’t help but feel suspicious. Morden was not a generous person, so he would have to profit from this in some way. 

And then there was the other thing. Morden, and maybe even Richard, still thought that it was possible for me to join their side. They surely wouldn’t trust me right away; they weren’t _that_ stupid… but apparently stupid enough to assume this. Or had it been a trap?

Morden’s facial expression didn’t tell me anything, it showed nothing but a bored kind of concentration as he was completely engrossed in his file. Apparently, it was getting quite warm near the fireplace, because he opened the top buttons of his shirt. As if pulled by a power out of my control my eyes followed his hand and stayed fixed on the hollow of his throat. His now exposed skin gleamed in the flickering light of the fire and I couldn’t help but be fascinated by the way it accentuated his collarbones.

Had his offer been genuine or nothing but a lie to trick me into doing something? I really couldn’t tell. Did it even matter? I wasn’t planning on accepting it either way, after all. 

Morden sighed, flipped the paper around and ran a hand through his hair, carelessly moving the jet-black strands from their usual places. Suddenly my mouth felt dry and I swallowed thickly. It hit me that I had never seen him this casual before – not wearing a suit jacket, vest or tie and now not even a properly buttoned-up shirt – and for some reason I was unable to stop staring at how soft and fluffy his messy hair looked. 

Somehow it must have distracted me enough to miss something he said, because suddenly he was looking back at me expectantly. 

“Sorry,” I stuttered embarrassed. “Could you repeat that, please?”

“I asked what Ictis said about the South America Debate,” he replied, sounding a little annoyed, but not too much. 

“Oh. He hasn’t given me a definite answer yet, but I’m sure he’ll do so any day now. You’re with the Isolationists on that?” 

I took a relieved breath when he started to explain his position on this issue and gave me instructions about what to do. Talking about work with Morden was always easy.


	8. Hills, books and murder investigation

Despite what Morden had said I kept waiting for him to demand payment for his help, either from me or from Luna directly, but nothing came. With time I even started to almost wish for it, so that this weird feeling of being genuinely grateful to him would go away. Because I still didn’t know how the Crusaders had found me and I didn’t want to endanger my friends or Arachne too much, I began to spend more and more time at the only other safe place I had. Weirdly enough that place was Morden’s mansion.

With what time I had left between my personal aide duties, I thoroughly explored the house and gardens. While I did find a couple of curious things, there was absolutely nothing of the kind of information Talisid would have liked and was pressing me for. My new favourite place became Morden’s extensive library, where I successfully continued my research on dreamstones and deep shadowrealms to prepare for the task Vihaela had given me. Surprisingly I had to be careful not to run into Onyx there, because whatever Morden made him study apparently required him to actually read a book from time to time. 

With the lovely weather in late June I began to explore the surrounding lands as well. I had always liked the Welsh countryside a lot and truly enjoyed being out walking in the beautiful nature. Since I still didn’t know where exactly in Wales Morden’s mansion was located, I spent a lot of time hiking around and comparing the hills and rivers with maps, until one day I thought of simply turning on the location on my phone. 

Standing on the top of a hill I stared at the little blue dot on the digital map, feeling pretty stupid. If I told Luna about this, she would laugh and call me horribly old. But now I finally knew where Morden’s mansion was and was mildly surprised that it wasn’t even that far away from my old safe house. Knowing that I could theoretically reach it by foot was somewhat comforting. I pocketed my phone and turned back to the mansion.

It was a very beautiful walk through the lively woods. A few meters before my path merged with another one, I stopped as my divination showed who I would meet there. I hesitated for a moment but then continued. Morden nodded at me when I fell into step beside him and we walked down the hill together in comfortable silence.

While I kept my eyes on the path in the present, I did watch Morden next to me in the futures. Judging by his clothes and shoes he hadn’t just returned from the city but had been out hiking similar to me. Thinking about it, Morden really did seem like the kind of person who would just go for walks to catch some fresh air. And when you’re living in a place as beautiful as this, not going out to appreciate it would be something of a crime, I suppose. 

The sunlight filtering through the leaves painted a pattern onto his shining hair, and the exertion of the hike had added a slight blush to the complexion of his cheeks. He did look at me from time to time and there were a couple of futures in which our eyes met. I made especially sure to keep looking straight ahead.

~~~

We returned to the mansion without speaking a word, even though I could see he was thinking about saying something. Back in the house I couldn’t help grinning widely when I saw who was waiting for me in the entrance hall.

“Hermes!” I called happily and the blink fox jumped up from the rug he’d been resting on. “How did you get in here?"

With a small yap Hermes trotted towards me and nudged my leg with his head. 

Morden stopped in the doorway. “What is that supposed to be?”

“A blink fox,” I replied and leaned down to return my friend’s greeting. 

“Let me rephrase that question,” Morden said. “What is a blink fox doing in my house?”

I swallowed, that didn’t sound too friendly.

“I’m not sure, but usually he wants food or a place to sleep,” I gave back with as much cheerfulness as possible. I really hoped Morden wasn’t one of those people who hated magical creatures for no reason. 

Morden sighed irritated. “Who else is going to move in? That giant spider you’re so fond of?”

“Of course not, your humble mansion would be way too small for her,” I grinned at him, imagining Arachne trying to squeeze through the corridors and complaining about tiny humans and their tiny buildings. Morden sighed again. 

“Fine,” he said curtly and fixed Hermes with a stern gaze. “The fox can stay for today as long as it knows how to behave itself.”

Hermes looked up at Morden and blinked once. 

“Where did you find it anyways?” Morden asked as we walked up the stairs. 

“Well, I guess you could say that rather he found me,” I said, regarding Hermes fondly. “He helped us escape Sagash’s shadowrealm.”

Morden seemed to falter for a moment, then shook his head.

“Why did I even ask,” he muttered and turned to the west wing while I continued towards to kitchen to find food for my hungry friend.

~~~

To my great joy Morden reluctantly allowed Hermes to stay at his house the following days as well. He really could have fooled me into believing that he was annoyed by Hermes presence, hadn’t I caught him sneaking treats from his dinner to a very excited blink fox.

A day before we would attempt to obtain the dreamstone I was sitting in the library with Hermes sleeping in my lap, reading up on the dangers of deep shadowrealms for one last time. Engrossed in the book I didn’t look up until Morden triumphantly dropped a folder onto the desk in front of me. 

“What’s that?” I asked and scanned the list of names on top of it. 

“That, Verus, is a list of life mages associated with the Crusaders and Levistus in particular – sorted by their relevance to the Horos case,” he replied in an undoubtedly good mood. 

I studied the materials more intently and found out that the folder contained detailed information about all the suspects, focussing especially on their connections to Levistus and their whereabouts at the time of the crime. I was suitably impressed.

“How did you get this?” I asked unable to hide the awe in my voice.

Morden smiled at me. “I have my sources,” he said cryptically, and I realised that that was all the information he would be willing to give on this. 

“Do you already have a suspicion?” I asked and flipped through the folder.

Morden shrugged. “Well, the first two don’t have any alibi for the time of the crime whatsoever, so that seems like a good place to start.”

I hummed in agreement and picked out said people’s files. Hieronymus and Brigid, one the operations manager of the healer corps whom I had seen show a clear dislike for Morden and Anne, and the other a seemingly independent life mage who however had a history in providing healing to Crusader task forces. 

“So now you want me to find out which of them did it,” I concluded, and Morden nodded. 

“That would be ideal, yes.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“Well, you’re the Keeper here, Verus,” Morden said. “Isn’t this kind of thing your job?”

I huffed. “I’ll try my best.”

“Very good,” Morden smiled. “Any resources I can provide are at your disposal. Don’t worry, I have the utmost confidence in your abilities.”

“Thanks,” I said, skimming through the suspect’s files and trying to come up with an approach to not only find out but also prove who had done it. A big problem was that while I was an official Keeper, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to interview them. Additionally to that there were barely any clues and not much known about the progression of events, so this would be difficult. But at least I now had a place to start.

And it really was about time, because unlike I had hoped the accusations against Morden hadn’t died down, but if anything where getting stronger and stronger. Undaaris too had reverted on his apology and was backing Sal Sarque’s claim now, though of course it was doubtless Levistus behind the plot. The entire thing was incredibly frustrating and if I didn’t find the real culprit and proved their guilt, probably no one would. And if Morden really did lose his Council seat over this… well, then I would be fucked just as well. 

Morden cleared his throat. “On another note, I think the Directors are finally willing to agree to the communications deal. I expect you to ratify it at the next possible convenience.”

“Sure,” I said casually, hoping that he wouldn’t catch on to my nervousness. “I’ll be away to get the dreamstone tomorrow, but I’ll get the deal done – if I make it out alive.”

Morden hesitated, then reached out to squeeze my shoulder.

“You’ll make it, then,” he said with a certainness that almost made me believe it


	9. Success and failure

_July_

I was sitting in my usual booth in the antechamber at the War Rooms, ready to sign off the communications deal with Julia as Morden had ordered me to. It would be good to finally get it done, especially after the dreamstone business had taken a bit longer than expected. I still didn’t know what Richard needed it for, but it had to be something very important. At least I couldn’t remember Morden ever being as happy to see me as he was when I finally returned to the mansion and handed it to him.

“Well done,” he had said with a grin and invited me to drink with him in celebration, an offer that I accepted against my better judgement. The conversation flowed rather freely between us and the excellent wine, discussing Council business and non-business things alike, even laughing and joking a couple of times. In moments like these I couldn't help but wonder whether under different circumstances we might have been friends. Though that would have had to have been quite some different circumstances indeed.

My mood dropped significantly when the futures showed Jarnaff approaching. 

“No, Councillor Morden is not going to support Malwin,” I said before he’d even had the chance to ask his question.

Jarnaff opened his mouth, but I cut him off. 

“No, not even in exchange for that. He’s in the Star Chamber right now, so please go get him yourself if it’s _that_ urgent. Yes, I’ll tell him and no, I don’t think he’ll care. If that’s all, good day to you.”  
Jarnaff closed his mouth again and scowled. 

“You probably think you’re really clever, don’t you?” he hissed. “Always knowing everything and having the last laugh, huh?”

He leaned in closer. “I wonder whether you’ll still be laughing later when we have your little friend… or maybe you’ll learn to be respectful then.”

The room got very cold all of a sudden.

Jarnaff grinned. “We do know where she lives, you know… good day to you too.”

Speechless I stared at his back as he left. _Fuck._ Had he just implied that there would be an attack on my friends? I pulled out my phone and texted Luna and Anne, and then Variam too for good measure. The Crusaders had already attempted to kidnap Luna once, maybe they had hung out at the place some more and found out where she lived?

“Verus,” Julia said and nodded at me in greeting.

Or maybe they had gotten the address of Anne’s flat from the time mage report? I checked my phone again; why was there no reply yet? 

“Verus,” Julia repeated more intently. 

Finally I could see that Variam would answer with an all-clear for him and Luna in five minutes, but still nothing from Anne. I frantically continued to search the futures. 

“Would you please stop looking at your phone and-“

“Not now!” I interrupted Julia, just like her talking had interrupted my pathwalking. Maybe Jarnaff had been only bluffing and there was no attack planned at all, but I couldn’t risk it. What would I do if they had already caught her? Fuck, why wasn’t she answering? 

“Fine, that means the deal is off!" Julia sounded very annoyed and walked away. Finally, finally I saw that Anne would answer me if I called her; she was still at the healer’s ward. Relief washed over me, but only for the seconds it took me to register what Julia had just said.

“Wait!” I called after her, but it was too late. In the time that I had been distracted she had already reported to Alma, who disappeared into the Star Chamber before I could reach her. 

I fell back onto my seat, feeling numbness spread out through my body. In this moment I knew I’d be dead by this time tomorrow. Jarnaff’s threat had distracted me enough so that I had messed up ratifying the deal with the Directors. Julia had taken my dismissal as refusal on the deal and told Alma, who went into the Star Chamber where Morden was… He was probably getting informed about my failure right now.

I swallowed heavily, remembering what he had said to me on my first day as his aide about what would happen if I made a decision for him that he did not agree with. 

_Then I expect I’ll be looking for a new aide_ , his voice echoed through my head. If I lost my position as Morden’s liaison that would mean that I wasn’t considered a Light mage anymore, which in turn would make the death sentence come back into effect. 

Or maybe he would assume that I was attempting to defy him, after all ratifying the deal had been a direct order. My fear spiked, I had to convince him that my disobedience hadn’t been on purpose. For if I didn’t it wasn’t just me who would die, but also people I cared about. 

I stayed in my booth trying very hard to conceal my panic from the other aides and continue business as usual, because it definitely wouldn’t do any good if I messed up even more deals now. I instructed my friends to hide out in the Hollow, where they would hopefully be safe from the Crusaders and Morden alike. 

It was both the longest and the shortest Council session I’d witnessed so far. My anxiety must have been very obvious for Morden when he finally emerged from the Star Chamber, but it was impossible to read the cold expression on his face. He beckoned me over without saying a word and I followed him through the corridors to the surface. 

When we stepped out on the streets, I couldn’t bear the tense silence anymore.

“Morden…,” I said hesitantly. “Look, I’m really sorry, it wasn’t on purpose, I promise! I was just distracted because of what Jarnaff said and didn’t really notice Julia at all and…”

I slowly trailed off when Morden turned to look at me. 

“I don’t think I have to tell you that I am very disappointed with you today, Verus,” he said, and I flinched. Somehow this hurt a lot more than I would have expected. 

Morden sighed. “You will do everything to salvage this first thing tomorrow; I already tried to placate Alma a little, but we might have to give in to their demands a bit more than was planned.” 

He continued to explain our further actions, all while my mind was reeling. I was going to salvage this? It seemed impossible to believe; I had thought I wouldn’t be required anymore. 

“That’s it?” I asked disbelievingly when he was done. “You’re not going to fire me?”

Morden fixed me with a stern gaze. “I expect this won’t happen again?”

“No, of course not!” I hurried to assure him.

He nodded once. “Then that’s it.”

I stared after him as he conjured a gate and stepped through. Did he just… did he just let me off without any kind of consequences or punishment? Even though I had fucked up majorly? It seemed impossible; I didn’t know him as someone to make idle threats. Maybe he needed me to stay alive more than I realised? The offer to join him that he had made not so long ago came back to my mind. Maybe there was a connection?

~~~

In the following days I low-key expected to hear about the death of one of my acquaintances, but nothing happened. Morden didn’t treat me any worse than before either and even praised me for my good work after I managed to re-negotiate the deal. It was almost embarrassing how much better that felt than his disappointment earlier. The only thing standing in the way of the communications office now was the matter of funding, but Morden seemed optimistic about it.

I still didn’t know whether Jarnaff’s threat had been real or just a bluff, but Luna and Anne decided to move their flats nonetheless. It made me feel so guilty that they were now being threatened not just by Dark mages but by the Council as well, all just because of their association with me. Good friends as they were, they would probably tell me that it wasn’t my fault, but that didn’t stop me from blaming myself.

Another front that was stressing me was the detective work I’d been doing lately to finally clear Morden’s name on the torture and murder of Horos. I spent big parts of my days trying to investigate our two prime suspects, mostly by looking at how they would react if I asked them certain question by divination or by monitoring who they met with. While I learned a lot of personal details about them that I wished I hadn’t, it appeared that they either were very good actors and liars - or innocent. In a final, desperate attempt to find evidence I broke into and searched their apartments in pathwalking, but nothing even remotely suspicious turned up.

I slowly started to suspect that Brigid and Hieronymus actually might not be the people I was looking for and turned back to examining the folder Morden had given me to find a new suspect. 

“You’re always working so much lately,” Luna remarked and tried to look over my shoulder at the files I was brooding over. We were hanging out in the Hollow, sitting on a blanket Variam had brought and enjoyed the food Anne had made. 

“There’s just a lot to do with all this Council stuff,” I said, flipping the page. 

Variam perched closer too. “Yeah, but you’re definitely doing much more than you used to one or two month ago. Is Morden pressing on you harder?” 

Thinking about it I had to admit that they did have a point; I was putting a lot more into my job for Morden. There really had been a shift lately, not only in my working time but in my attitude towards it as well. At first, I had been doing just the bare minimum of what Morden explicitly told me, while I now was actually somewhat invested. Sometimes it was very easy to forget I wasn't doing this out of my own free will; especially with the way basically everyone was lumping me together with the Dark mages. And with the petty ways they went about trying to obstruct Morden, it was hard not to root for him at times.

“Maybe he’s just infected me with his workaholic nature,” I joked, but sadly no one laughed. “Nah, you know how Talisid is impatient for my spying to finally pay off.” 

It wasn’t even that far off; I truly had started to spend more time with Morden to gather information. But now I wasn’t so sure anymore whether that really was the only reason I was keeping this up. There was no way I actually enjoyed being around Morden though, right?

“What are you reading there anyways?” Luna asked. 

I sighed. “Files with details on potential suspects in the Horos case.” 

That made Anne peak up. “Let me see?”

I handed the folder over to her and she began flipping through it, carefully regarding and considering every suspect. About two-thirds through she suddenly stopped.

“Do you know them?” I asked and leaned in to read the page. Vivus, 38 years old and senior supervisor at the healers’ ward. 

“Yes, he used to be on my shift,” she said. 

“And?” I prompted. 

“He asked me questions about the necklace once, like where I got from and whether it’s rare.” 

“The necklace that was stolen and planted to frame you?” Luna asked and Anne nodded. 

“That is suspicious,” Variam said and looked at me expectantly.

“Did he act weird in any way towards you after you were let go by the Keepers?” I asked. 

“No, I didn’t see him afterwards anymore because he suddenly got promoted…” Anne’s eyes widened. 

“He got promoted directly after the murder happened?” Luna looked excited. “That’s pretty suspicious too!” 

“Maybe, but he does have an alibi,” I gave into consideration. 

Anne’s eyes skimmed the file. “True, it says he was at the opera.” 

“Anyone can buy opera tickets and just not go,” Variam dismissed. “I think this guy is pretty shady.”

Luna and Anne nodded in agreement.

“Alright,” I relented. “I’ll check out this Vivus guy next.”


	10. Sleepless night

“…and that’s why I’m absolutely sure Vivus did it,” I concluded my report. After some digging, I had quickly come around on my friends’ suspicions. Not only would Vivus react quite nervous when asked about Horos, but he also would firmly insist on having been to the opera that night while the time magic investigation Meridia ran said something entirely different. The last nail in the coffin for me was when a stolen document confirmed that it had in fact been Levistus who had facilitated the sudden promotion. 

Morden had listened to the results of my investigation sitting at his desk in the War Rooms without moving or interrupting me. Now he sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“While I do not question your conclusions, I’m afraid that we still don’t have anything going beyond circumstantial evidence,” he said, clearly struggling to keep the disappointment out of his voice. 

I crossed my arms defensively. “That was all there is to find. Trust me, I tried everything.”

“I do trust that you’ve tried your best, but that doesn’t change the fact that we need hard proof if we want to sway the vote,” he said factually with only a hint of annoyance. 

"That's so stupid! Why do we even have to prove this?” My frustrations with the long fruitless investigation and looming vote that would decide over whether I got to live or die were finally running over. “It's not like there's anything proving it was you either! And yet the Council vote will decide it anyways; that's just not fair!"

Morden looked at me with surprise. "Your strong sense of justice and fairness is..."

"What? Stupid? Childish?" I interjected bitterly.

"I actually meant to say endearing."

“Oh.” I looked away and blushed a little. He had to be making fun of me, but his expression was earnest for all I could tell. 

Morden cleared his throat. “You do have a point though… we don't actually need any proof.”

“What?” I blinked at him. 

“We don’t need any proof,” Morden repeated. “It would be enough if we can convince Levistus that we have it.”

"So we just tell Levistus we know who did it and offer him a deal?" I asked sceptically when I understood the plan he was suggesting.

Morden grinned. "Oh no. We simply drop hints implying that we are preparing to file charges - and then wait for Levistus to come asking for a deal."

I took a deep breath. "That's quite a bluff though." It could potentially work, but I wasn’t sure whether I was willing to bet my life on it.

Morden’s grin widened. “I know.”

I shook my head. "You know what's unsettling me the most about this? That you actually seem to be enjoying this."

~~~

Morden was working on a document when I entered the sitting room after having dinner with Lisa and Selene.

"What’s that?" I asked and sat down on my usual sofa. 

"The paperwork for the communications office funds, which is due to application tomorrow," Morden replied without looking up.

"And what is that?" I gestured towards the enormous stack of paper on the table.

"The paperwork for the communications office funds, which is due to application tomorrow," Morden repeated. “It arrived only minutes before I left the War Rooms and the deliverer seemed very surprised that I was still in.”

I was shocked. "Seriously? How do people usually do all of that in such a short time?"

"They don't, the usual time frame is three weeks, but in this case the files unfortunately got lost in administration."

"Lost, huh?" I grinned. "Who would have thought, one of the most powerful Dark mages, defeated by bureaucracy."

Morden huffed. "Stop gloating and make yourself useful."

My grin made itself rare when I too had to join in on the boring work. The worst thing about these forms was that you didn’t just have to set crosses or fill in single words. No, you also had to write paragraphs explaining what funds were needed and what exactly they would be used for. By checking the futures of what Morden would say if I asked him, I was able to answer most of the questions. But with the confusing and imprecise manner the questions were asked, even he had to look up how to fill out certain sections in books on Council law.

I was slowly getting angry at the unfairness. Someone in the Council administration had deliberately hindered these forms from being delivered to Morden in time in hopes of ruining the plans he had fought through for months now. The communications office wasn’t even a bad project at all, it was as if they were just being assholes for no reason. Sure, I could understand the desire to block Morden in any way possible, after all I hated him as well... didn't I?

I looked over at him critically. He was solely focussed on the form in front of him, his brows furrowed in concentration. When he finally finished with a particularly hard section his lips curled upwards in the way I had come to understand as triumph. I smiled and turned back to my own form.

~~~

A couple of hours later Morden looked up and checked his pocket watch.

“It’s quite late,” he remarked. “You can go to bed, if you’d like. You really don’t have to continue.”

“And leave all the fun to you? No way." I gave him a lopsided smile. We had come so close to establishing this office; somehow, I just couldn’t let him fail now. 

“Alright,” he said, and I thought I saw a flicker of gratefulness in his eyes.

It really was getting late though and not long after I was unable to hold back a loud yawn. 

“At least grab some sleep for a couple of hours, if you need it,” Morden suggested, but I shook my head. 

"Nah, I don't need to sleep; I just need a coffee.” I got up and stretched. “You too?"

He accepted my offer and I went to the kitchen to make us some, very thankful for the opportunity to stretch my legs and get away from the horrible paperwork for at least a couple of minutes. I returned and handed him his cup, black with only three splashes of almond milk, no sugar. He looked at me with surprise after taking a sip.

“How did you know I take it like that?” he asked. 

I grinned at him and tapped my nose. “Diviner.”

Morden snorted amused. "Good to know that's finally useful for something.”

"Pfff, and how exactly is your death magic helping us right now?" I teased. 

Morden glared at me and I giggled. It really was getting late. The futures were weird, Morden seemed to be thinking about teasing back or smacking me... but there also was one future in which he leaned closer that got immediately blurry from that point on, as if he was too undecided between multiple options. In the end he just settled on glaring at me some more.

We continued working in silence for a while. When I saw Hermes coming into the room, I automatically expected him to come to me. Instead he curled up on Morden’s lap and whimpered until he got ear scritches. It was hard to believe what I saw, had Hermes really just preferred Morden over me? I mouthed _traitor_ at him. Hermes blinked amused. 

Morden must have noticed my reaction, because he asked, “Why the grumpy face? You’re not jealous, are you, Verus?”

I wanted to start explaining that of course not, I knew that Hermes was my friend and him seeking pets from Morden meant nothing, until his teasing smirk told me that he had meant it the other way around. I blushed. 

"Most certainly not!" I spluttered. 

Morden laughed and continued petting Hermes.

~~~

At around three A.M. Hermes left and even Morden looked pretty tired, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Why are you even doing this?" I asked. 

"What?" 

"I mean, for as long as I've known you, you've wanted this Council seat, but why?” I shrugged. “It seems to be pretty shit, and everyone hates you." 

Morden huffed and looked up. "You are truly charming, Verus, do you know that?" 

"Just stating the facts," I grinned, and he shook his head. 

“You are somewhat mistaken, most of the Council mages don’t hate me,” he said and continued at my raised eyebrow. “Of course they are trying to obstruct and unseat me, but that is not rooted in hatred for me in particular, but more for the disruption I caused. As I’m sure you will have noticed by now, the great ideals of the Light Council don’t really matter much to those who sit on it. So when they cry against Dark mages being included it isn’t necessarily for any moral matters, but simply because they are unwilling to share their power with someone new. Since I was the first, the backlash has been rather intense, but I expect it to die down in a few years.”

“So you are saying that the Councillors are more concerned with their hold to power than …moral matters?” I tried to put it in the same term he had used. It was an uncomfortable thought and yet one I had to admit I’d been secretly thinking myself from time to time. 

“Of course.” Morden leaned back comfortably. “Or do you think they would have admitted me onto the Council if they truly adhered to their supposed moral code?” 

“I always thought that it had been the White Rose thing,” I said. In the beginning I had asked him the question to briefly distract myself from form 36.b part 4.1., but now I was genuinely curious. Besides it felt somewhat thrilling to get an insight into his thinking like that. 

“Ah, that certainly speed things up, but do you really think that any amount of blackmail could have bought me a seat if they hadn’t been putting their own self-interests first?” He shook his head with mild amusement. “No, Verus, ethics have never been the reason for why the Council dislikes Dark mages.” 

This was more than a little confusing; Dark mages were supposed to be the ones who only cared about their own power, not the Light mages. Were those groups truly much more similar than I had thought? Thinking about the horrible things people like Levistus, Undaaris and a disturbingly high number of other Light mages had done, this conclusion did start to ring somewhat true. 

These thoughts kept spooking around my head as we focussed back on the paperwork, brooding not only over the Council but also Morden himself. In the last months I had spent a lot of time with him, way more than I would have ever wanted, and while I felt like I had learned a lot about him as a person, there were still so many basics I didn’t know. 

"How old are you, anyways?" I asked out of the blue. 

“That is not a very polite question to ask, is it?” Morden said and raised an eyebrow. 

“Come on, please tell me,” I prodded and looked at him with big eyes.

“Well, what do you think?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean you look about my age, but I know you're older.”

Morden sighed and told me.

“Oh,” I said with no little surprise. "That's a lot younger than I thought."

"How old exactly did you think I was?" Morden asked indignantly. 

"Not sure, I just thought you'd be older,” I said, quite amused by his outrage. “It's not my fault you act so old." 

"Act so old..." Morden shook his head. "The audacity." 

I giggled.

~~~

About two hours later the stack of paper had shrunken considerably and I began to actually believe that we could make it. If we didn’t conk out now, that was. Looking over at Morden I could see that the hand holding his pen had stopped moving and that his eyes were closed.

“Morden?” I said to get his attention, but there was no reaction. Divination showed that further talking wouldn’t bring any results either, so I grabbed the closest sofa pillow and threw it at him. He jerked awake and for a short, scary moment there were futures in which I got hit by an instinctive blast of death magic. Thankfully they disappeared when he recognised me. He glared. 

"Hey, don't you dare fall asleep on me now," I said lightly, trying to ignore my racing heartbeat. 

"I was just resting my eyes," he said defensively. 

"Yeah, that's how it starts.” I winked. “Come on, almost done now."

Morden sat up straighter and smoothed out the crumpled paper in his lap. "I have to say; I'm surprised you are so invested in this." 

I shrugged. "We've come so far; it'd be stupid to give up now," I explained.

When we finally finished with the documents it was already light outside and there were birds singing. 

"Thank you for your help," Morden said and held out a hand to me.

“No problem,” I waved it off and allowed him to pull me up from the sofa.

~~~

It seemed kind of useless to even try to sleep now, and so Lisa found us sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and half eaten toast, staring blearily ahead.

“Good morning, Master, Mage Verus,” she greeted politely and set about to make us proper breakfast. I thought that I should help her, but before I managed to muster the strength to get up, she was already done. 

“Did you finish the application?” she inquired as she served us bacon and eggs.

“Thank you, Lisa – and yes, thanks to Verus’ generous aid, we did,” Morden replied, giving me a tired smile which I returned in kind. 

“Did you get any sleep at all?” Lisa asked carefully and looked somewhat worried when Morden answered in the negative. He did look horribly tired and his hair was a mess. I was very confused by the urge to fix it. Would it feel as soft as it looked? Only in the last moment I stopped myself from checking the future in which I touched it. 

After finishing breakfast we went to ready ourselves for work. When I met Morden again in front of his private rooms, I had taken a shower and put on one of the tailored suits, but I still looked like an exhausted mess with the dark circles under my eyes.

“You look awful,” he commented truthfully. 

"Thanks,” I said and noted with surprise that the exhaustion was barely visible on him anymore. “You look okay... Are you... Are you wearing makeup? Why?"

"No need for the Council mages to see and feel smug about it.” 

"That's fair,” I admitted. “Now they'll just think you made me do all the work alone."

Morden looked me over critically. “True. Come, let’s fix that.” 

I was surprised but followed him curiously into his rooms. I’d never been in them before, not even in pathwalking. They were… somewhat disappointing and reminded me of a hotel room, with barely any   
personal things. His bedroom looked a lot like my own room, just with different colours, furniture and view out the window. It was generally very neat and tidy with a big walk in closet, broad bed and matching closets. There were a couple of books on the nightstand, as well as a vase with flowers from the garden. 

I didn’t get to look around for long because Morden lead me into the bathroom, in which there was nothing out of place, just like in the bedroom. If I hadn’t known for sure, I wouldn't have thought that he actually lived here. 

“Our skin tones should be similar enough,” he said as he took something from a drawer. He then positioned me under the light, turned my face and told me to hold still. I jumped a little at his touch, but then slowly relaxed into it, reminding myself that if he wanted, he could kill me just as easily from across the room. It still spiked my heartrate. 

“Close your eyes,” he instructed me. “You don’t want to accidentally get concealer in them, do you?”

I stared at him, debating whether I could really trust him like this. With a deep breath I closed my eyes. 

He kept holding my face in position as he worked, his touch confident and gentle on my skin. Standing in front of him with closed eyes was quite scary and I had to consciously keep my breathing calm, even though I couldn’t see anything bad happening in the futures. I was almost physically aware of how very close he was, close enough that I could feel the warmth from his body and smell his cologne.

Way too soon Morden let go and I opened my eyes again. For a few seconds we stood close, looking at each other. I couldn’t help but notice how long and full his eyelashes were and instinctively tried to count the different shades in his dark grey eyes. 

Suddenly the spell was broken, and Morden turned away to put the makeup away in the drawer. I followed him and looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit that I did look a lot more healthy and well-rested now. He clearly was skilled with this. 

“Thanks,” I said.

Morden smiled. “You’re welcome. Couldn't let you go out while looking like that.”

I rolled my eyes; I still didn’t get why appearances mattered that much in Council business. But Morden cared, enough that he had bought me tailored suits to wear to work and now helped me to put on makeup. I followed him out of the room.

Onyx stopped taken aback on his way to the kitchen when he saw us leaving Morden’s bedroom together. 

Morden didn’t stop in his brisk walk. "Good morning."

"Good morning, master," Onyx gave back reflexively, staring at us with an almost comical expression of shock. 

As soon as Morden was out of earshot, he turned to me and sneered. “So that’s why he's bothering with you."

“What?” I was confused. 

But before I could get an answer or really think about it, Morden called, "Hurry up, Verus!"

I hurried after him, looking back at Onyx over my shoulder. What the hell had that been about?

~~~

We both managed to look fairly awake and well-rested at the War Rooms and I did have the impression that the Council clerk I handed the filled-out forms to seemed less than pleased about it. There was nothing I wanted more than go home and sleep, but just like Morden had to suffer through the Council meeting, I had to endure dealing with the other aides.

Only when the session was over did my overtired brain catch up to what Onyx had meant with his remark earlier this morning. I flushed furiously.

“Is everything alright?” Morden asked. “You do look a little distressed… you didn’t mess up another deal, did you?” 

“No…” I said numbly falling in by his side. 

“Well then, do tell me what happened.”

“The Guardians want to increase the security in the War Rooms,” I replied. “What’s our position on that?”

Morden smirked and cocked an eyebrow. “Our position?”

I was embarrassed. “You know what I mean,” I snapped and rolled my eyes to make clear that it didn’t matter.

“Oh please, Verus, I am glad you finally came around,” Morden said and smiled wider.

"I didn't! My tongue just slipped, okay?"

"Sure. Whatever you say,” Morden replied with disbelieving amusement.

I was quietly fuming but couldn’t argue any further because to Morden the topic was done, and he started to explain "our position". No, it didn’t matter what Morden thought, I would never be on his side. And I definitely wouldn’t sleep with him either, despite whatever Onyx was thinking.


	11. Introspection

“So you’re absolutely sure that Levistus is behind this?” Talisid asked sceptically.

“Yes,” I confirmed for what felt like the hundredth time. I was sitting on a sun warmed rock on top of one of the hills overlooking Morden’s mansion in the valley, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful scenery, as well as enduring the routine check-up with Talisid. 

“You know that it could be Morden, right?” he said through the communicator. “He might be manipulating you into finding false evidence to frame Levistus instead.”

“Jesus Christ,” I sighed and cursed the fact that Talisid wasn’t able to see my theatrical eyeroll. “That theory doesn’t make any sense at all, regarding how Anne was framed at first… besides, I didn’t find any ‘false’ but actual evidence.” 

“Are you certain? Morden could –“ 

“Yes, I am certain! Morden didn’t do this; it was that Vivus guy who did it for Levistus.” Slowly I was losing my patience. I was risking my life to spy for Talisid, and he didn’t even believe me when I told him the truth. It also really bugged me when he acted as if he knew more about Morden than I did. I was very much of the opinion that between the two of us it was _me_ who could be considered the Morden-expert now. “Why can’t you just trust me on this for once?”

“Fine.” Talisid was frustrated too. “We also have to keep in mind that it would be an easy way to finally rid the Council of his influences.”

“You are aware this vote might be my death sentence, right?” I reminded him. “If Morden loses his seat, everything will be just like last year again.” 

“About that…” Talisid hesitated. “Morden attempted to get your death sentence repealed.”

“What?!” 

“Yes, his proposal was voted down just barely, he probably expected Councillor Bahamus to vote in favour,” Talisid continued. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No, he didn’t…” I said, my mind still reeling from the surprise. Then it changed into anger. “Wait, are you telling me that _your_ boss voted it down? And that it was Morden of all people who tried to help me? Why exactly am I working for you again?”

That had been the wrong thing to say of course, because it propelled Talisid into giving me another lecture on how dangerous and evil Morden and his Dark mage agenda in the Council were. I tried my best to ignore his voice and concentrate on the mystery at hand. Morden had tried to get my death sentence repealed. Why?

It didn’t make any sense, after all the death sentence was one of the things that forced me to work for him. Why would he want to remove that incentive? He had to profit from this in some way, but I couldn’t think of any. And if he’d done this to manipulate me, then why hadn’t he even told me about it?

This mystery fitted right in with the others I’d been unable to get behind. Why had Morden made me live with him to protect me from the Crusaders? Why had he finally stopped Onyx from trying to kill me? Why had he bought horribly expensive suits for me? Why had he helped to save Luna without demanding any payback? Why hadn’t he fired me for messing up a deal? Why had he tried to get my death sentence repealed? _Why was he helping me?_

“Verus? Verus, are you still there?”

“Yes,” I said as Talisid snapped me out of my thoughts. “Is there anything else?”

“No, I think that was all,” Talisid said. “Just… be careful, okay?”

I took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Good. I will await your next call.” With that he cut the line. 

I leaned back comfortably and looked out over the valley. Despite my initial apprehension to coming here, I now had to admit that I liked this place. It was strangely peaceful, and I didn’t feel scared at all anymore. Of course I was aware of the danger that lay in false safety, but it was difficult to stay constantly afraid and vigilante when nothing bad happened. Morden hadn’t harmed me once and always treated me as a welcomed guest, and after his initial attack Onyx mostly just avoided me. 

Only recently had he shaken up the peace again… with his implication that Morden was keeping me around for sex. It was an absolutely ludicrous idea of course, and yet I somehow hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. I remembered how soft and steady Morden's touch had felt when he had put the makeup on me, how thrillingly close we had been, what he had smelled like, how beautiful his eyes were…

I shook my head forcefully. Why the hell was I thinking about this? I wasn’t even into men, least of all Morden, right? And yet I remembered the way his hair had looked all messy and couldn’t help but wonder whether it would look like that too after sex...

I groaned and covered my eyes. This couldn’t be real; I couldn’t actually be thinking about being intimate with _Morden_ in any way. I hated him and anyways, I wasn’t even gay. Right? 

My mind went back to all the nice things he’d done for me lately. Yes, I was feeling pretty grateful for some of them and couldn’t deny that those had warmed him up to me a little. The fact that he’d turned out to be a rather good boss who was quite fun to talk to wasn’t helping either. Especially the worked through night had done a lot in moving us closer together, as I finally dared to tease and ask him more personal questions now. 

But there also was the fact that he was working with Richard and had forced me into working for him in the worst way possible. And I hadn’t forgotten how he had press-ganged me into stealing the fateweaver for him and threatened to torture me for disobedience. Despite us getting along pretty well, he was a still a Dark mage with everything that meant. I definitely hated the bad things he had done and what he stood for, but I couldn’t deny that my hatred for him as a person had essentially vanished. 

I admired his intelligence and eloquence, the way he just always knew what to say and what to do, carried by an unshakable confidence through everything. No matter how dire situations at the Council were, I could always rely on him to masterfully find a way to transform any problem into a victory. I certainly didn’t agree with him on everything, but the discussions we had were some of the most stimulating and interesting I’d had in years. He had a surprisingly good humour, both laughing at my jokes and making me inadvertently laugh at his. 

His laugh was quite beautiful too, silvery, rich and very befitting of his in general extremely pleasant voice. Thinking about the way he looked when he laughed, grinned or smiled at me made my stomach flutter. I remembered how it had felt to dance with him; the steady pressure of his hand on my back, his warm grip and the confident way he had guided me across the dancefloor. 

He had looked absolutely flawless that night, his perfectly fitted suit emphasising the great figure underneath. He was generally way too good-looking with his handsome face, dark shining hair and the controlled and confident way with which he moved. 

I groaned again and buried my face in my hands. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t actually be attracted to Morden. I wasn’t gay… but there was no denying that the way I had been thinking about Morden lately was anything but straight either. But I wasn’t gay, I was very sure that I was attracted to women. 

I almost laughed out loud when it hit me; it was incredible how I had managed not to think of this all my life. Bisexuality definitely explained quite a lot of things in the past. But as happy as I was about finally becoming aware of my attraction for both men and women, and probably nonbinary people as well for all I knew, there was one thing that bugged me. Out of all the people that could have caused me to recognise my interest in men, why did it have to be Morden?

~~~

Morden and I had done our best to subtly spread the rumour that we were preparing to file charges against the true culprit in the Horos case, as well as proving their connections to a sitting Council member. With the crucial vote coming closer and closer I had been getting increasingly nervous, wishing for there to be something I could do. But as Morden had said, the bait was laid and all that was left to do now was to wait for the fish to bite.

I didn’t tell anybody about my new insights. I didn’t feel entirely secure enough in my newfound sexuality to come out to anyone yet and besides, it never seemed relevant anyways. And regarding my attraction for Morden specifically I did fear the judgement of my friends. Hell, I was already judging myself enough for that on my own! But after my initial realisation there was no denying it anymore and I was acutely aware of it whenever I saw him. 

I couldn’t stop myself from watching him with divination a lot and noticed that he too often regarded me whenever he thought I wasn’t looking. Even though it didn’t matter in the slightest, I found myself wondering about whether he was into men as well. With what Onyx had said it seemed rather likely, because if he knew his master to be straight, he probably wouldn’t have assumed that he was sleeping with me.

But even if Morden was into men in general, that said nothing about whether he was into me specifically. With his looks and charm he could probably have almost anyone he wanted anyways. It didn’t matter to me, of course. This weird attraction I felt was nothing more than physical and would probably go away soon anyways. It wasn’t my fault that apparently, he happened to be my type.

~~~

“Verus.”

“Barrayar.” I nodded back at him with an equally grim expression. Levistus’ personal aide and I had so far tried to avoid each other as much as it was possible with our jobs. I didn’t think he knew how much I actually hated him, so much in fact that it was almost physically painful for me to just swallow it and play nice for now. 

“Let me get straight to the point,” he said after assuring himself that no one else would be able to listen in. “We know that you and your boss are preparing to file charges in the Horos case, don’t even try to deny it!”

He looked a bit taken aback when I indeed didn’t even try to deny it and just shrugged with demonstrative nonchalance. “What about it?”

“Well, don’t do it!” he said once he caught himself again and drew himself up to his full height with crossed arms.

“Why not?” I asked and refused to even acknowledge to his attempt to intimidate me. 

“Because I’m offering you a deal,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “You drop the charges and we’ll drop the vote.”

“Oh really?” I raised an eyebrow and hoped that he wouldn’t notice how fast my heart was beating. “And why would Councillor Morden do that? After all we do have all the proof needed to incriminate Healer Vivus… and Councillor Levistus as well.” 

Barrayar flinched at my mention of his boss and double checked for potential listeners again. 

“Because it’s not a given that the court will actually decide in favour of your allegations, while this deal is safe,” he explained. 

“Hmm.” I pretended to ponder his offer. “If we agree, then Councillor Levistus has to publicly declare that Councillor Morden is completely innocent.” 

“Yes, that’s the deal,” Barrayar said, clearly glad about my agreement.

“Also, the culprit still has to face justice,” I continued my demands. “In the spirit of our deal we will keep the evidence connecting Levistus to it secret and only charge Vivus.”

Barrayar gave a strangled laugh. “Yeah sure, and then there’ll ‘accidentally’ be some hints sneaked in pointing to Levistus.” He shook his head. “Not gonna happen.” 

“What do you propose then?” I asked and tried channel Morden’s unshakable confidence to the best of my acting abilities. “Vivus has to face justice or this deal is off.”

There was a scary moment of hesitation. 

“Fine,” Barrayar spat. “Councillor Levistus himself will file the charges against Healer Vivus and prove his guilt. Happy now?”

“Yes, that should be agreeable enough,” I said and saw Barrayar breathe a sigh of relief. He nodded and we shook on the deal. 

“Only one more thing,” I added before he could turn away. “Councillor Levistus has to publicly apologise to Councillor Morden for calling the vote in the first place and accusing him without basis.” 

Barrayar hesitated. “I will tell Councillor Levistus about your demands,” he replied non-committal and left to inform his boss. They talked for a few minutes in hushed whispers before Levistus straightened up and entered the Star Chamber. 

I breathed deeply and sat down on my bench. Morden had been very clear about what he wanted out of this deal; I only hoped he hadn’t pushed our luck too far. Now all that was left for me to do was wait.

~~~

The Council session finally ended, and the Councillors came filling out of the Star Chamber. My hands were clammy, and my heart was beating in my throat as I stood up to join Morden on his way out. His face was as impossible to read as always, and I damned his excellent control that made my divination almost useless with him. Only when we stepped out on the street did his mask break: he grinned.

“It worked?” I asked, not quite daring to believe it yet.

“Beautifully,” Morden said. “Your negotiation must have been quite something.”

It felt as if a heavy weight was being lifted from my shoulders and overtaken by the incredible relief I laughed. Morden smiled at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

“Did he actually apologise?” I asked as we walked into the blind alley that was our usual gating spot. 

“Oh yes,” Morden confirmed. “It was delightful. Pity you weren’t able to see it.” 

I laughed again. “Yeah, I really wish I could have seen that.”

“I’ll tell you all about it,” he promised. “You did very good work, Verus, we will have to celebrate this.”

My chest warmed at his praise while he prattled on about the celebration and what this victory would mean for our future work. It was only my precognition that warned me. Morden was too distracted and wouldn’t be able to raise his shield in time to keep the bullet from hitting his heart. My body moved without thinking and I pushed him out of the way.

Pain erupted in my chest. 

“Hey!” Morden stumbled, and his magic shot up reflexively to shield the both of us from the following bullets. He was saying something, and death magic flared around, but I was unable to make out details as I suddenly found myself lying on the ground. Breathing was pure agony and my hands came back bloody from my chest. My panic rose, I had been shot. 

Someone was calling my name and touching me. “Verus? Verus, can you hear me?” 

I gasped for air and looked up at Morden’s face, etched in worry. It was impossible to reply or move my body, but my mind was racing through all the possible paths in the future. They all showed the same, which was nothing but utter blackness. In this moment I realised that I was going to die. 

“Verus?” Morden was still there. I blinked up at him. How funny, I had always expected that it would be him who killed me and not me dying to save him. 

_To hell with it_ , I thought. With the last of my strength I reached up and pressed my lips against his. 

Then, everything went black.


	12. Aftermath

There were low murmuring voices at the edge of my perception as I flitted in and out of consciousness. After what simultaneously felt like an eternity and no time at all I finally managed to open my eyes. There were blurry, brilliant lights above and I could feel a soft breeze on my face. I groaned; I was so incredibly tired.

“Alex?” a kind voice asked. It took me a while until I recognised it as belonging to Anne. I couldn’t remember having ever been this tired before. What was going on?

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” Anne said. “You got shot, but you’ll recover.”

At first her words made no sense to me, but then everything came back in a flash. I remembered being at the War Rooms, making the deal with Barrayar, the relief of success, Morden’s happiness, the shots fired at him… Suddenly the worry and panic were back.

“Morden?” I croaked and attempted to sit up. 

“Shh Alex, its’s alright,” Anne said soothingly and gently pushed me down again. “Morden isn’t here, you’re safe. All you need is rest, just go back to sleep.”

That wasn’t what I had wanted to ask about, but before I was able to ask again, she touched my shoulder and I sunk back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

~~~

I had no idea how much time had passed when I woke up again. The sky above was clear and bright and I could hear birds signing. Lying on a mat in our camp in the Hollow I was feeling a lot better. I sat up slowly and prepared for impact when I saw that someone was about to tackle-hug me.

“You’re awake!” Luna cried and squeezed my body. “We were so worried; Anne said you just needed to recharge some energy, but you were out for so long…”

“…and he’ll be out again if you don’t let him breath soon,” Anne commented from behind. I gave her a grateful smile after Luna let me go. 

“How are you feeling?” Anne asked, sat down on the blanket in front of me and eyed me critically.

“Good, I think,” I replied and took stock of my body. There was no pain anymore and I felt refreshed, the only thing nagging me was my grumbling stomach. “How long was I out?”

“About two days,” Variam said and joined our group. I gratefully accepted the big bowl of porridge he handed me. 

“How did I get here?” I asked as I dug into the porridge with more enthusiasm anyone had ever shown for Variam’s sorry excuse of cooking. 

“Well, the official story is that you got shot by a sharpshooter,” Variam said. 

“Morden caused quite a scene at the War Rooms when he stormed in, carrying you bleeding and dying, and loudly demanded a healer,” Anne continued. “At first someone else stabilised you, but then Morden insisted that I take over the healing process.”

Thinking about the amount of life mages in the healer corps we had investigated for their connection to the Crusaders, I was very glad he had taken that precaution. 

“Then Anne called us, and we helped her transport you here,” Variam said. “Apparently Morden wasn’t too happy about that, but luckily there weren’t any grounds for him to refuse on.”

“So what did he do?” Luna asked. 

“Who did what?” I barely paused between the bites.

“Morden! He said you got shot by a sharpshooter but come on, you’re a diviner. You don’t get shot by a sharpshooter,” she scoffed. “So obviously it has to be him who did that.” 

I blinked at her and stopped inhaling the porridge. 

“What, no!” I exclaimed. “Morden didn’t do this; he was the one they were shooting at!”

"But then how did that sharpshooter hit you?” Variam was confused. “Didn't you see it coming with your magic?"

"I did. I saw it hit Morden." Just the thought of what I had seen in those futures made me shudder. I had seen Morden getting shot. I had seen him die. And somehow that had hurt a lot more than getting shot myself did. 

"Then how...?"

I hesitated. "Because I pushed him out of the way." 

That left my friends speechless for a moment. 

“Why?” Luna asked flabbergasted. “Why would you risk your life like that?”

“Yeah, why didn’t you just let them shoot him?” Variam added almost accusingly. 

“Hey, it was a reflex reaction!” I protested. “Also, he’s the only thing keeping Levistus from killing Anne and me.” 

I hadn’t told them about Morden’s attempt to repeal the death sentence yet and had to admit that even if he had succeeded with it, I still would have tried to save him. 

“Speaking of Morden,” Luna said and dug in her pocket. “He send you a text.”

She handed me my phone and I read the message that had arrived almost a day ago. 

_Please inform me about your condition once you are awake again._

I replied, _all patched up again_ , and didn’t have to wait long for his answer which arrived only seconds later. 

_Good. Meet me in the house at your earliest convenience, please._

Anne must have noticed my agitation, because she asked, “What’s the matter?”

“He wants me to come talk to him now,” I said.

“Why are you worried about that?” Luna asked with a frown. “You saved his life. That should give you a good position, no?”

“Yes, but… I can’t go.” This conversation threatened to become very uncomfortable.

“Why not?” Luna prodded. 

I swallowed and licked my lips nervously. Foreseeing a conversation with so many participants was difficult, but the futures where clear enough to show me that my friends wouldn’t let this go. I closed my eyes briefly, took a deep breath and braced myself. 

“Because I may have… on impulse… kissed him,” I admitted. 

You could have heard a needle drop in the silence that followed my confession. Then, they started speaking at once.

“What?!” Luna exclaimed. 

“Why the hell would you do that?” Variam sounded horrified. 

“Hey, I was in shock!” I defended myself. “I thought I was dying!”

“That doesn’t explain anything!” Luna objected. “Anne, please tell me he has a head injury.”

Anne, who had stayed quiet so far, shook her head.

“I don’t get it,” Variam said. “You don’t even like Morden. You hate him!” 

I looked away; this was awful. I almost wished I had actually died because that would have been easier than dealing with this. How could I tell them that my emotions around Morden had been basically turned upside down? I had already known for a while that I was attracted to him, but if seeing Morden die in the futures had taught me anything, it was that my feelings for him weren’t purely of a physical nature. In those brief seconds, the possibility of his death had broken my heart.

“That might not be entirely true anymore,” I said. Slowly I began to recount the way my gradual change of heart concerning Morden had come about. From all the instances he had helped me, to how we had been getting along pretty well and even confessing to the fact that I fancied him. And when I thought I was dying… It had been a ‘now or never’ type of situation. 

When I finished my explanation, they were still staring at me with horrified disbelief. 

“Is he really _that_ attractive?” Variam asked sceptically into the silence.

“No!” Anne vehemently negated while Luna shrugged and said, “I mean, kind of, yeah.”

“He is a Dark mage!” Anne persisted. “He’s awful!”

I swallowed. “I know.”

“He’s forcing us to work for him!”

“I know.” It was impossible to look at her.

"He’s working with Richard!”

“I know.”

“He threatened to have people killed if you don’t do as he says!”

“I know!” 

She jumped at my loud tone. 

“I know!” I repeated. “I know that he’s a bad person and what he’s done and that I shouldn’t like him; it’s just…” I shrugged helplessly. “I kind of do.”

Anne bit her lip and looked down. 

“So… if you like Morden… does he like you back?” Luna asked carefully. 

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “No clue. That’s why I can’t meet him… what if he really hates that I kissed him?” 

“Well, if you were a terrible kisser, he probably would've let you die,” Luna said encouragingly. 

“Unless it was so bad, he wants to kill you himself,” Variam added. 

I huffed. “Thanks, I’m feeling much better now.”

~~~

Kissing your boss is probably not a great idea. Especially not if you aren't sure whether he'd welcome it. And definitely not if he's an incredibly powerful Dark mage - who is also your enemy. And yet that was exactly what I had done. I had kissed him impulsively while thinking that there wouldn’t be any consequences. But against my expectations I had survived and was now fretting about what those consequences would be.

What would Morden do? Would he simply ignore it? Punish or kill me for it? Or did he, as Luna had suggested, like me back? No, that seemed impossible. At least as impossible as me liking him in the first place... I still couldn’t quite believe it. My friends were right, how the hell could I have fallen for Morden? It made no sense. 

My heart was beating in my throat as I walked through the mansion. Did I even hope for him to reciprocate my feelings? What exactly were my feelings anyways? I definitely didn’t want him to die… and I wouldn’t mind kissing him again either. Did I… love him? I shook my head; now was not the time to brood over this. 

My hands were shaking slightly as I reached for the door handle of the living room Morden was waiting for me in. There was no violence to be seen in the immediate futures, but I wasn’t able to predict where the conversation would go at all. I steeled myself and entered.

Morden stood at the other side of the room next to the fireplace, holding a whiskey glass. He straightened up when he heard me close the door and I froze in the intensity of his gaze. As usual he looked flawless, radiating power and leaving no doubt that he was absolutely relaxed and in control. 

“Verus,” he said eventually. “I do hope you are feeling well again?” 

I nodded. “Thank you for bringing me to Anne.” 

“Of course,” he said inclining his head. Awkward silence followed. I shifted my weight, unsure what to say or do. He had to bring up the kiss now… or was he waiting for me to explain and apologise?  
Before I could decide, Morden set his glass down on the mantelpiece and started walking towards me. I was frozen in place and unable to move as he stopped in front of me. If he decided to kill or attack me now, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. 

“Please stop me if I’m wrong,” he whispered and slowly reached out to tilt my chin. 

I was sure my heart stopped the moment he kissed me. At first I was too shocked to do anything, but then kissed back reflexively. 

Morden broke the kiss and took a step back. 

“Thank you for saving my life,” he said. “But if you ever do something like that again, I will kill you myself.” With that he moved his hand so that it was cupping my face and kissed me again. 

His lips where even softer than I had imagined, and I couldn’t help but melt into the sweetness of the kiss. He was incredibly careful, gently holding my face as if he was worried any force would break me. I clumsily grabbed his shoulders to pull him closer. 

After a while Morden lead me to the comfortable sofa and we continued our careful explorations sitting next to each other. His hand that was lying on my thigh only added to the fuzzy, electrifying feeling running through my body. I was unsure about what to do with my hands, I wanted to touch him but didn’t quite know where or how. 

_I love you_ , I thought, surprising myself with the validity of this statement. I repeated it over and over in my head as we kissed more intensely now but didn’t quite dare speak it out loud. Would he say it in my stead? 

There was a break and I knew Morden was watching me while I looked down into my lap. I should say something, I knew what it was that I should say, but… why hadn’t he said it yet? Did he even feel the same? There was only one way to find out…

I looked up to meet his eyes, opening my mouth and prepared myself for the possible let-down when my courage deflated. 

“The sharpshooter,” I stammered instead. “Did they catch him?” 

Morden sat back and there might have been a small flash of disappointment in his eyes. He kept his hand on my leg. 

“No, they didn’t,” he said. “He gated away soon after his mission failed and there were no clues to be found, but the Keepers are investigating.” 

“Yes, I’m sure they’ll do everything they can to find out and stop whoever is trying to kill you,” I said sarcastically.

Morden smiled. His lips looked a little swollen and there was slight colour in his cheeks. 

“Your lack of faith in the old and honourable institution of the Keepers – which, by the way, you belong to yourself – is somewhat disturbing,” he teased, and I rolled my eyes. 

He sobered up a bit and looked at me earnestly. “Don’t worry, Verus, I will do everything in my power to pressure them into putting in honest work. After all it was my personal aide who was seriously injured.” 

I smiled back at him and felt myself blush when his hand gently squeezed my thigh. 

“Do you know who was behind this?” I asked. 

“Not really,” he said. “Probably someone from the Council.”

“Maybe it was Levistus?” I suggested. “He couldn’t have been happy about the deal we tricked him into.”

Morden shrugged. “That is very well possible, but honestly, it could have been almost anyone. Besides, a sharpshooter?” He shook his head. “That hardly seems like Levistus’ style. More like the Directors’.”

“How did they react?” It was so much easier to talk about Council business than it was to think about the implications of what had just happened, and the questions that were left unanswered.

“Oh, absolutely shocked, of course,” Morden said with a crooked smile. “There was a panicked lockdown of the War Rooms until the Keepers had cleared the perimeter and the Guardians took it as pretence to push through their futile plan to increase the security.” 

“What else did I miss?” I asked and leaned back comfortably as Morden readily gave an overview of everything relevant that had happened while I had been healing. He didn’t take his hand from my leg all through our conversation.


	13. New Develpoments

We continued discussing Council business over dinner, deciding to ignore the awkwardness of having kissed by pretending it hadn’t happened. Healing the shot wound must have taken a lot of energy and I was a little embarrassed when I noticed how Morden had been watching me devour an ungodly amount of curry with possibly record-breaking speed. I was uncertain whether his expression was one of mild disgust or amusement. 

Another side effect of the healing drew attention to itself when my vision suddenly turned black from exhaustion after getting up. 

“Careful there,” Morden said and caught me from stumbling. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled and leaned onto the arm he offered. I knew I’d be embarrassed about this in the morning, but right now I was too tired to care about the blow to my dignity. 

Morden didn’t comment on it as he helped me up the stairs to my room and I had to admit that I quite enjoyed holding on to his arm. Generally I wasn’t big on physical contact, but right now I wouldn’t have minded some more. It was almost as if I could feel all the places that he had touched earlier tingling; my chin, my cheek, my thigh, my lips… I definitely wouldn’t mind getting another kiss either.

“Will you be alright from here on?” Morden asked as we stopped in front of my room. 

If I said ‘yes’ he would simply wish me a good night and then leave, while if I said ‘no’ he would accompany me inside and help me with everything I’d claim to be unable to do by myself. I had no idea what exactly the state of our relationship was right now but decided that _bringing each other to bed_ wasn’t quite it yet. 

“Yes,” I replied and pulled my hand from his arm, maybe lingering on it longer than necessary. 

“Good.” He smiled. 

I stood in front of him, hesitating. He had kissed me earlier. Would it be okay to kiss him again? I looked down at his lips, remembering the way they had felt on mine, so soft and warm, playful and titillating. I could feel the heat rising to my face and was very glad that Morden was unable to see the futures I was considering. 

“Well then,” I said and took a step back. “See you tomorrow.”

As I had anticipated he bid me a good night and left. I efficiently readied myself for bed, replied to Luna’s inquiring text with an _‘all is fine, no need to worry’_ and finally crawled under the comfortable covers. Looking up at the dark ceiling I tried to make sense of the last couple of hours. Instead of being angry at me for kissing him, Morden had reacted quite positively. I could feel my chest warm at the memory. It was hard to believe and waking up in the morning I wouldn’t have been too surprised to find out that it had all been just a dream.

~~~

It had however not been a dream, because it happened again the very next day. And the one after that and so forth. At first it had been a little awkward, slow explorations, which soon became more and more confident. I wasn’t quite sure how I had expected kissing a man to be different from a woman, but making out with Morden turned out to be very fun. If there was a significant drop in our paperwork  
productivity rate lately, I for one wouldn’t be too surprised.

I also started to join him for meals more regularly now, because avoiding him for dinner just to snog him afterwards seemed a bit silly. Besides, I enjoyed his company and had been doing so for quite a while already, if I was being entirely honest. We talked more than before now, but still hadn’t breached the topic of what exactly this between us was. I had never been good at talking about emotions and hadn’t even entirely figured out what exactly it was that I was feeling, and with Morden I wasn’t completely sure of how much emotion he was capable of at all.

He certainly did enjoy teasing me though, making me squirm on his lap or pinned down to the sofa, pushing in moments I felt a little overwhelmed and letting me suffer by not progressing as fast as I would have liked to in others. It frustrated me to no end that he seemed to know exactly what he was doing, telling me to be a good boy and be patient with that insufferable smirk of his. 

The Keepers made no progress in finding out who had sent the sharpshooter and although Morden had instructed me to stay out of this, I was itching to investigate myself and kept tabs on all relevant Keeper files. Talisid had been upset about the Horos deal that had saved Morden’s Council seat, but finally believed my assertions that it was Levistus who had been behind the murder. Just like my friends he had been suspicious about how a diviner could have been hit by a sharpshooter, but luckily I was able to dispel his distrust by telling him something along the lines of " you don't pay attention for a single second and of course that's what happens". 

No, I definitely couldn’t tell Talisid about what was really going on. He wouldn’t understand and probably fear that I was switching sides or something equally ridiculous. And I highly doubted he would believe that regularly making out with Morden was simply a strategy to keep him from doing Council work.

~~~

_August_

After another unfruitful session with the dreamstone I was helping Luna, Anne and Variam to set up a bigger camp in the Hollow. 

“You know, when I told you to ‘screw Morden’ I didn’t mean it quite so literally,” Variam said casually while assembling a pole for the new marquee. Anne was reading the construction manual next to him. 

“Vari!” I spluttered and almost dropped the big, crimson red tarpaulin I was carrying with Luna, who had the audacity to laugh at her boyfriend’s stupid joke. “That’s not… why would… besides, we haven’t even…”

“You haven’t even had sex yet?” Luna was enjoying this way too much; out of all my friends she had gotten over the news about my involvement with Morden the fastest. “But didn’t you guys already kiss ages ago?”

I glared at her. “That’s none of your business!”

She however did not take the hint at all. “Why not?,” she prodded. “Don’t you want to?”

“I guess?” My face must have reached about the colour of the tarpaulin we were unfolding. “We haven’t really talked about that yet.”

“Yeah, I kinda did have a feeling you were spending your time together doing other things with your mouths than talking,” Variam teased. “But I guess it’s nice that you’re taking your time? It’s the first time you’re with a man anyways, right?”

“It’s crazy that you only noticed now that you’re bisexual,” Luna mused and decided to give Variam a hand with the poles. “And that it was _Morden_ who made you realise.” 

“I know, it’s insane,” I sighed and together we finished assembling the last tall pole. 

Anne, who hadn’t said much all day, suddenly slammed the construction manual shut. 

“How can you talk about it like this?” She sounded upset. “Like it’s just a slightly unconventional relationship; have you forgotten that he’s a Dark mage?”

Luna and Variam looked down sheepishly. 

“She does have a point there,” Luna said and threw me an apologetic glance.

“Yeah, especially since he’s not just any Dark mage but like, our enemy,” Variam added. 

“No, I haven’t forgotten,” I said, straightening up. “I’m well aware of who he is.”

“Then how can you do this?” Anne asked with frustration. “How can you like him?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “It happened slowly?”

“That’s no explanation!” Her voice was getting shriller. “He’s a bad person! He’s threatening us, working with Richard and he’s even hurt you once!”

“I know,” I said patiently. “But I don’t think he’ll do it again.”

Variam frowned. “His track record isn’t really the best there, though.”

“He’s been doing nothing but trying to protect me lately!” I protested. “He even helped to save Luna when the Crusaders had her.”

“Which he probably did for his own selfish reasons,” Anne interjected. 

“Sure, but why wouldn’t he punish me for messing up that deal or try to revoke the death sentence?” Slowly my patience was running out.

“He might have selfish reasons for those things too!” Anne stood up, her hands balled into fists while Variam and Luna looked on silently.

“Well, I can’t think of any!” I loved Anne, but right now she was really pushing my buttons. “And why would he not care about me challenging his authority anymore? Months ago I always had to be polite, but now I can tease and joke with him no trouble!”

“Maybe he’s trying to manipulate you?” Luna suggested tentatively. 

“What for? If we go with what you seem to think, wouldn’t he just force me to do whatever he wants?” I gave back bitterly. 

“You said that he tried to get you on his side,” Variam said. “Maybe that’s what he’s planning?”

I laughed hollowly. “I highly doubt that, but in the unlikely case that that’s true, he’s wasting his time. I’ll never go back to Richard.” 

“That’s irrelevant anyways,” Anne insisted. “The point is that he’s an awful Dark mage! We don’t even know how many people he has hurt or killed, we don’t know what other horrible things he might have done, we don’t-“

“Yes, exactly!” I was done and my voice was getting lounder too. “You don’t know! You don’t know him at all. How many times have you talked to him? Two? Three? I’m the one who knows him best, so maybe you should trust me to make my own decisions!”

“Alex, we’re just worried about you,” Luna said, desperation creeping into her voice. 

“Well thank you for that, but it’s unnecessary! I’m not a child, I’m perfectly capable of assessing risks and deciding accordingly myself!”

Anne laughed. “That’s hard to believe when that decision is to snog Morden!” 

“Fine!” I shouted and turned to leave. “I’m done with you trying to baby me for today!”

“Alex, wait!” Luna called, but I ignored her and prepared to gate out. Even though I was so angry I could hear the blood rushing in my ears, I knew that it was just because they had vocalised the very thoughts I was trying so hard to silence myself.

~~~

Sufficient to say that my mood was pretty much ruined. I returned to the mansion and felt bad for shouting at my friends almost immediately. They really were just worried about me, and if I was being entirely honest, maybe even rightfully so. Anne definitely had a point; Morden was a Dark mage. Maybe he wasn’t the worst of the bunch, but that didn’t make him anywhere near good either.

I had seen him torture people, for god’s sake! How could I possibly like him? If it were just the physical attraction that could be explained easily, but there was no denying anymore that I actually cared for him. It made me feel horribly guilty, in a way. I shouldn’t like him, shouldn’t enjoy spending time with him, shouldn’t kiss him… and yet I just couldn’t help it. 

Maybe he really was manipulating me. I liked to think that he cared for me too, but he hadn’t said anything like that. Although to be fair, neither had I. But even if he genuinely loved me (the thought alone sounded ridiculous), wasn’t Anne right with what she’d said? It was irrelevant how nice he might be to me when he was being awful and harmful to others. 

My brooding found an abrupt end when my divination showed Morden coming to join me in our favourite sitting room. 

“You’re home early,” he said taking a seat next to me. “How was your day?”

I huffed. “Let’s not talk about it.”

“As you wish,” Morden smirked and successfully banished all negative thoughts and emotions with a fervent, overpowering kiss.

~~~

Later on, I couldn’t quite remember how exactly we’d gotten to this situation, kissing passionately in Morden’s bed with him lying on top of me. We had both lost our shirts somewhere in the process, and I was making good use of the opportunity to feel the strong muscles of his torso. His intentions of also divesting me of my trousers that I could see in the futures and the possibilities of what might follow afterwards were more than welcome, and yet…

“I’ve never been with a man before,” I blurted out. 

Morden sat up, looking at me with surprise and disbelief. “Never?”

“No...” I admitted and felt a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t even know that as something I was interested in until recently.” 

Understanding dawned in Morden’s face and he grinned at me. “You realised you are into men because of me?” 

“Oh, shut up!” I punched him lightly in the arm. “Okay, yes, I did I realise because of you, but that’s no reason to feel smug. Besides, just because I’m inexperienced that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”

He still looked quite smug and I couldn’t help flushing furiously when he leaned in again. 

“And what is it that you want?” he purred, one finger trailing over my chest. I shivered. Looking away I nervously licked my lips, then turned my head back to confidently meet his eyes. 

“I want you to fuck me.”

This declaration had an even better effect on Morden than I had anticipated, his pupils widened, and a light blush crept onto his cheeks. Realising that I might have asked for more than I would be able to handle at the moment, I pedalled back a little. 

“May-maybe not right now, but eventually?” I stuttered.

“That can be arranged,” Morden grinned, and his hand trailed further down my body. “And don’t you worry, there are a lot of other things we could do for now…” 

Checking the futures for what it was he was referring to I swallowed, then nodded eagerly and pulled him in for a kiss.

~~~

Afterwards, I didn’t quite know what to do. Feeling pleasantly exhausted and satisfied, all I wanted was to stay curled up in bed with Morden, but he was already moving to untangle himself from me. Did he expect me to leave now? Probably. Sure, we’d just slept with each other for the first time, but actually _sleeping_ with each other was an entirely different thing.

“We should get cleaned,” Morden said, and got up from the bed. 

Hesitantly I followed him into the bathroom, where he started the shower. It was easily big enough for two people, and the warm spray from above felt great as it washed away the dried sweat from our bodies. I threw a shy glance at Morden, realising that this was the first time I got to see him without any clothes in good lighting. The way he looked with the water running over his naked body, wet hair and tiny droplets in his dark eyelashes, was simply too good not to admire.

He smirked when he caught my staring. 

“Like what you see?” he teased, turning a little to show off more.

I rolled my eyes; this certainly did not merit any response. Yes, I did like what I saw, very much so in fact, but Morden didn’t have to know that. He looked way too smug already. Overall, I felt that this evening had been way too good for his ego, so I decided to at least kiss that stupid grin off his face.

~~~

Morden rummaged in his closet with his back turned to me, getting ready for bed. I hesitated. Was now the time he expected me to leave? It had to be. He was an incredibly private person and hadn’t said anything about being okay with me sharing his bed for sleeping, so I guessed that meant we were done for now. It would be horribly embarrassing if I asked and he refused. Despite wanting nothing more than to stay, I started to collect my strewn around clothes.

I had just finished putting them back on when Morden turned to me again, frowning. Apparently, I truly had outstayed my welcome. 

“Good night then,” I said and hastily walked to the door.

Morden followed me with his eyes. “Good night, Verus.”


	14. Not a date

I apologised and explained my reaction at our last meeting to Luna and Variam, who fortunately accepted it rather quickly. Only Anne wouldn’t answer the phone, no matter how often I called her.

“Just give her some time,” Luna advised after I’d complained about Anne avoiding me for over a week now. “You know why she’s so careful with everything related to Dark mages like Morden.”

Of course I knew and could understand her apprehension, after all I had my own experiences in that direction. It just annoyed me that she extended those concerns into avoiding me, while I’d thought that we’d been through that already. 

My own doubts and insecurities stayed unaddressed, because whenever I thought about bringing them up with Morden, there always were so many more pleasant futures to choose from instead. After the first time we were sleeping together regularly now, usually in his bed and so I always left for my own room after our joint shower. We were still taking it slow and if Morden minded my lack of experience with men, he never said so and I had the impression that he quite enjoyed showing and teaching me new things almost every night. 

A great success for our efforts in the Council came through when the hard-contested communications office got finally established and would pick up its work soon. 

“Go put on your navy suit, please,” Morden told me when I returned to the mansion that evening. “We are going out to celebrate.”

I did as asked and was quite proud for remembering that the suit he’d referred to was the blue one we had bought together months ago for the Spring Ball. Again he was wearing the somehow matching black suit and I allowed him to fix my tie to his liking. I was too distracted by how marvellous he looked to protest anyways. 

He refused to tell me where we were going, but with my divination it was a piece of cake to find the answer to that question. 

“Paris?” I said surprised as I waited for him to open a gate. “Why are we going to Paris?”

“It is a beautiful city,” Morden replied without wavering in his concentration. “Also, I reserved a table for us in one of my favourite restaurants.” 

“Oh,” I remarked eloquently. “You didn’t have to.”

He waved my objections aside and then gestured for me to step through the gate leading to a quiet park right in the heart of Paris. 

“Do you come here often?” I asked and fell in step with him, completely trusting him to know the way.

“I used to, but I haven’t been in years now,” he said, leading me onto a busy street lined by old picturesque buildings. “Going out for dinner alone seems to be more trouble than it’s worth, really.”

“I guess,” I said and was distracted from my question of whether that was a change of mind he’d had recently or who he used to go out with before, when we arrived at the restaurant. 

It looked even more expensive than I had anticipated, and I understood why Morden had insisted on me wearing the fanciest of my suits. A waiter dressed in tails guided us to our table and while I tried to hide my awe and discomfort, Morden chatted with him in what to me sounded like perfect French. I sat down gingerly and after the waiter lit the candles on our table, Morden ordered something I didn’t understand. 

“I didn't know you speak French,” I said, suitably impressed. 

Morden gave me a smirk. “There is a lot you don’t know about me.”

Was that a challenge?

“Well, I do know that you grew up in Lisburn and went to Catholic school but aren't religious anymore,” I said. “You found out that you were gay at age thirteen and his name was Conor.” 

Morden’s expression was one of pure shock.

“Also, you think that blackberry jam is the best, which I'd like to strongly disagree with, it's obviously strawberry," I added, ecstatic about having caught him off-guard enough to break his control.

“How do you know that?” he demanded, face and voice cold. 

“I'm a diviner, knowing stuff is kind of my thing,” I said casually, but then decided to take mercy on him. "Don’t worry, I simply checked what you'd say if I asked.”

Morden looked perplex for a moment, then laughed. I smiled at the warm sound; his silvery laughter was one of the most beautiful I’d ever heard. 

“So, you looked into the future of what would happen if you asked me those questions?” Morden inquired and took a sip of his wine. 

“Yeah,” I confirmed and copied him. “That’s called pathwalking.” 

Morden gave an interested hum. “I must confess, I have always been fascinated with divination," he admitted. “It is so unlike most other types of magic and quite mysterious, if I may say so.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” I said. “Most people are more distrusting of diviners because of that.”

"Most people wouldn't want to get close to a death mage either," Morden said and gave me a conspiratorial smile. 

“That's silly, you could kill them from a distance just as well,” I commented, which made him laugh again. 

“Does it not scare you, though?” he asked, now serious again. “That I could kill you so easily?” 

“Not really.” I shrugged. “I mean, so could Anne. So could a lot of people. Probably even a giant sentient badger." 

“A what?” Morden looked confused.

“Point is,” I continued. “You're not that special." 

Morden smiled. “Alright.”

 

The food, which Morden referred to as _haute cuisine_ , was absolutely amazing. We started with an onion soup after which followed one course more delicious than the previous and although the servings were rather small, I did have to fight to finish my crème brûlée. While we were eating and talking, Morden taught me a few French phrases so that I was able thank the waiter and compliment the food when he collected our dessert plates. I was glad that no one commented on my atrocious accent. 

The waiter handed the bill to Morden, who paid with his credit card and signed it without even letting me see the price. 

“Hey, I can pay for myself,” I protested. 

“Nonsense,” Morden scoffed. “I invited you.”

The futures showed that arguing over this would be pointless, and so I thanked and followed him outside. Instead of gating back to England, Morden lead me to walk along the river Seine in the warm summer night. We weren’t the only people with this idea by far, but it still was a lovely path with an even lovelier view and Morden generously told me everything he knew about all the beautiful buildings across the river and their history. Strolling next to him I was somewhat tempted to take his hand but reminded myself just in time that this was a work celebration, not a date. 

Again I was impressed by how much he seemed to know about almost anything, as well as by his incredibly good looks. He was particularly gorgeous tonight, leaning against the banister and talking about the old bridge that spanned the river, the orange light of the streetlamps giving his normally icy grey eyes a warm shine. A mild breeze from the water tousled his hair and I was unable to resist stepping closer and sliding a hand into it, pulling him into a kiss.

At first Morden seemed surprised that I would do such a thing in public, but then he gently put his arms around me and returned the soft kiss. I felt breathless when it ended, trying my best to ignore the people around. 

“While I am generally not opposed to this,” Morden said and slowly ran his hand down my side. “How about we take it back home?”

For once, I had no objections.

~~~

“Relax, Verus.”

“Wait, stop for a second,” I said, and Morden immediately pulled back his hand. I was reclining on my back, Morden kneeling between my spread legs on the bed. “Please don’t call me ‘Verus’ while we’re doing this, that’s just awkward.” 

“What else should I call you then?” he asked. 

“Just ‘Alex’ is fine.” 

He furrowed his brow. “But I do respect your status as a mage.” 

“Look, that’s very nice of you and all, but that’s not really how I see my name,” I tried to explain. “To me ‘Verus’ is my formal name, for official things, while ‘Alex’ is my personal name. So being called ‘Verus’ while doing this just really kills the mood.” 

Morden settled back, looking at me with a thoughtful expression. 

"Very well, if that's what you want, I will call you ‘Alex’ in private,” he said after a moment. 

“Thank you,” I said with a smile. “Is there something I could call you in private?”

He smiled back. “Oh, you could call me ‘Master’, if you’d like.” 

“Fuck off,” I huffed and rolled my eyes. “I think I’ll stick to ‘Morden’ then, thanks.” 

“Suit yourself.” He gave me an amused grin. “Would you like to continue now?”

“Yeah, get on with it already!” I dropped my head back on the pillow and raised my hips. Morden laughed softly. 

“Patience is a virtue, Alex.”

~~~

“Are you sure you want to _walk_ all the way to your room now?” Morden asked teasingly, and I blushed. I had moved to get up and leave, as always after we were done, but he did have a point about my momentary aversion to walking.

“No,” I admitted. “But it’s not like you’d want me to stay, right?” 

Morden regarded me silently for a moment, then said, “You can stay, if you’d like. I don’t mind.”

I paused, unsure about what to do. Of course I wanted to stay, but that hadn’t exactly sounded like an enthusiastic invitation. Slowly I crawled back under covers Morden lifted for me and settled on the other side of the bed, making sure to leave enough space between us. He might be letting me stay just this once out of compassion, but maybe he would allow it again if I didn’t annoy him too much.  
I quietly bid him good night, because surely, he wasn’t interested in conversation with me now. 

“Good night, Alex,” Morden said, and I felt the bed shift as he turned onto his back. Lying perfectly still I enjoyed the closeness; it was almost like I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. Not sliding any closer to him was incredibly hard. Exhausted as I was, it didn’t take too long until I fell asleep to the calming sound of his slow breathing. 

 

I woke up to the sound of birds, feeling warm and well-rested. But something else was different from usual mornings – it wasn’t my bed – and I wasn’t alone. 

Morden was sleeping soundly next to me, and I must have accidentally moved closer to him during the night, because I was snuggled against him, very much on his side of the bed. I felt embarrassed; this hadn’t been the plan. But I couldn’t bring myself to move away either, it was way too comfortable. And seeing Morden asleep had something very endearing to it as well. 

Eyes closed he was lying turned towards me, hair fanning out over the pillow and hanging into his face. It was amazing how he could be this beautiful, even messy and asleep. He looked utterly calm and peaceful. While the life magic treatments made him look a lot younger than he was, usually his demeanour made it quite clear that he was older. Right now he actually appeared very young. But what struck me the most was how vulnerable he looked. It made it easy to forget how very dangerous he was, and I wished I could see him this vulnerable and relaxed when he was awake too. 

The futures flickered and I thought about getting up, but then decided to stay. Morden’s eyes fluttered open, and it took a moment until they were focused. He smiled. 

“Good morning.” 

“Morning,” I replied, realising how close I still was to him and started to slide away. “Sorry.” 

“No, no, it’s alright,” Morden said, and I settled again. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. You?”

Morden hummed. “It was alright. I'm not used to sharing a bed anymore, but I'm sure I will be again soon."

I stilled. "Does that mean you want to do this again?"

“Yes,” he said after a pause. “If you’d like to.” 

My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. “That would be nice.”

Morden smiled back at me, then leaned over to press a gentle kiss on my forehead before getting up.

~~~

“…and then Ophelia asked which Dark mage you’ll want to appoint to the apprenticeship committee.”

I was leaning against the side of Morden’s big desk in his study in the War Rooms as he listened to my report sitting comfortably behind it. 

“I haven’t picked a candidate yet, it is more important that the proposal gets approved in general,” he said. 

“Wouldn’t it be better to get both through at once?” I asked. 

Morden shook his head. “Choosing a candidate ahead would give the Council more details to discuss and would therefore take a lot longer.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it will be easier to reach an agreement without giving a name yet,” he said, sounding final. “Now, was there anything else?”

I hesitated. Usually this would be the moment where I stepped down and accepted his decision, but this time I was quite certain that he was making a mistake. And there was no way our relationship could be amicable if I was too scared to stand my ground against him. 

“No, I think you’re wrong there,” I said, suddenly feeling my heartbeat in my throat. 

Morden leaned back and tilted his head. “How so?”

“Well, it’s probably true that getting the proposal through without a candidate attached would be faster – in the short term, that is,” I began, encouraged by his reaction indicating interest instead of anger. “But after that they can just keep on refusing candidates, stalling the actual appointment for ages.”

“Hmm.” Morden steepled his fingers. “If we choose a candidate ahead, the opponents will try to discredit them, but with the general proposal on the table, the bigger picture would be the more important thing to discuss.”

“Yes, exactly,” I said. “It might take longer to convince the Council at first, but since there already is some support for the general proposal, this strategy will be more successful in the long run.”

“You do have a point there,” Morden acknowledged. “We will do as you suggest.”

“Really?” I looked at him in surprise.

Morden nodded. “Now, we will have to select a candidate that is acceptable for the Council.”

“Do you already have an idea?” I asked. “How are you gonna pick them?”

“I do have a couple of names in mind, yes,” Morden said and smiled. “And how to choose? It seems like it is time for some old-fashioned job interviews.”


	15. Calmness and storm

“…also, it doesn’t matter whether it’s expensive, as long as the food is good,” Luna said. 

“Are you sure?” 

I held the phone in my left hand as I scrolled through what felt like the hundredth restaurant recommendation blog on my laptop with the right. In the last weeks Morden had used his gating abilities and seemingly endless funds to the max and invited me to the fanciest restaurants all over the world. Maybe he did it because he had noticed how uncomfortable I was with being served by Lisa and Selene, or more likely because he now didn’t have to go alone. Since I still didn’t like the thought of owing him, I wanted to repay the favour and was now sitting at the table in my room, searching for the right place.

After that endower stayed fruitless for over an hour, I decided to call Luna for help. 

“Pretty sure, yes,” Luna confirmed. “If all he wanted was glam, he probably wouldn’t be interested you anyways.”

“I guess?” I said unsure, after all I had no idea about what of me it was that Morden was interested in. He certainly made no secret of how much he liked my body, and I felt warm just thinking about the generous way he had showered me in praise and compliments last night. But was that all? 

“You said that he took you to his favourites, so maybe you should do that too?” Luna’s suggestion interrupted my speculation. “That way it’d be more personal, even if it’s not the fanciest.”

“True,” I said and began to list all the good places to get food from that I could remember. At the last one I named, Luna laughed. 

“What, that always was one of the highlights on holidays,” I said with fake indignation. “It’s the best in all of England, if you ask me.” 

“Well then, go for it,” Luna said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not.” Luna laughed again. “It’ll be quite a surprise, that’s for certain.”

~~~

Two days later Morden and I were walking through the old centre of Whitstable, a very well visited seaside town not too far from London. Looking over at Morden next to me I decided that this trip had already been worth it, and if only because I got to see him in that dark red button-down shirt, which accentuated his physique beautifully.

“Will you tell me now where it is you are taking me for lunch?” he asked a little impatiently. 

I smiled. “We’re almost there; look the queue is right ahead.” 

Morden followed my finger with his eyes, and I was sure they widened even though I wasn’t able see them under the sunglasses. Probably he now understood why I had insisted that he dressed much more casual than he normally did.

“Seriously?” he said disbelievingly as we joined the small queue of tourists. “We’re getting take-out?”

“They have the best fish and chips in England,” I said, trying but failing not to laugh at his surprise and outrage. Luckily we didn’t have to wait too long and soon were making our way to the pier with large bags of deliciously smelling haddock and chips. Morden would have made a fuss about sitting on the ground, and so I decided to speed things up by offering him my jacket to sit upon. The air was filled with the salty scent of the sea, and I enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the beautiful view over the water. 

“You were right, this is actually really good,” Morden said with surprise after he’d carefully tried the first bite.

“I know.” I grinned at him and dug in as well. 

“It’s been so long since I last did this,” he continued and gestured around, maybe referring to our seating arrangement at the edge of the pier, the take-out food, or both. “The last time must have been at least…” He shook his head. “I don’t even remember the last time I did this.” 

“What, are you becoming senile in your old age?” I teased and he glared at me.

Instead of responding to my taunt Morden asked, “How do you know this place?”

“I used to come here with my parents every summer when I was little.” 

“So before they divorced?” he inquired conversationally.

“Yeah,” I confirmed after a moment. Sometimes it was a little eerie how much he already knew about me, while the details of his life were still mostly a mystery to me. I made a note to try and ask more about his youth today, although so far all I had learned was that he clearly didn’t like to talk about it. 

But before I could think of a question, my divination warned me just in time to duck and protect my bag to avoid the swooping threat. Morden however was less quick in his reaction, and so the seagull successfully snatched a couple of his chips.

“Hey!” Morden complained, but the bird didn’t seem to care about his wrath and simply flew another attack, this time joined by a couple of equally hungry friends. Morden was very offended when I continued to successfully evade the birds and couldn’t stop laughing as he struggled to defend his food. In the end he decided against clearing the sky with a powerful blast of death magic and simply gave up by ceding the rest of his chips to the hungry horde. 

“Hey!” I complained when he reached over to steal some of my chips instead. 

“When I took you out for dinner, no one attacked you,” Morden said half as justification, half as accusation. 

“Sure, unless you count the overeager waiters, who just wouldn’t stop refilling the glasses,” I countered, shivering at the memory. 

“Well, but at least they didn’t steal your food,” Morden grinned, and I laughed.

“Fair enough,” I admitted and generously held out my bag to offer him the last of my chips.

~~~

“Well then, please tell us why it is you are interested in this position,” Morden said and crossed one leg over the other. He was sitting comfortably in a high-backed armchair in the living room that was mostly reserved for business, his pose both welcoming and radiating unmistakable power at the same time. I was standing next to his chair on the right, dressed in a tightly fitted black waistcoat over a white shirt and dark trousers, perfectly looking the part of unimportant and easily dismissible assistant. This impression was only reinforced by Morden being the only one asking the questions, and so most of the mages immediately ignored me after my introduction as Morden’s aide.

“I have been in the Light apprenticeship system myself, as I’m sure you already know,” Leizi said. They were a storm mage with silver streaks in their long black hair, sitting on the sofa facing Morden and talked to him confidently as if they were simply having an afternoon tea together. “There always have been Dark apprentices in the system, but all of the committee members are Light mages, which can cause a myriad of problems that could be easily avoided by having a representative of the other side, so to speak.”

Morden nodded. “Yes, exactly. With the increased efforts towards Dark-Light integration it is to be expected that the number of Dark apprentices joining the Light apprenticeship system will rise. What do you think are the issues that will have to be addressed concerning this, and how would you go about trying to solve them?” 

Unlike some of the previous candidates, Leizi wasn’t fazed by the demanding questions at all and amicably discussed plans and policies with Morden in their seemingly unshakable calm manner. I shifted my weight; it was time to find out how well that conduct would hold under some more duress. While Morden took over the typical interview part, it was my job to test the candidates’ temper and control by checking out futures in which I bombarded them with everything from annoying questions to thinly veiled insults.

As one might expect, Dark mages weren’t necessarily the most serene and stoical people out there. I was very glad that by using my divination I was able to test them without actually putting my life on the line, because although Morden would consistently protect me in all futures, there had been a couple of rather close calls. But again Leizi turned out to be far ahead of most of their predecessors. 

The interview was coming to a close, and Morden glanced at me to inquire whether my assessment was completed or if he should stall for more time. I gave him a subtle nod. 

“Very well, thank you for coming to talk to us, Mage Leizi,” Morden said and politely stood up. 

“The pleasure was mine as well, Master Morden, Mage Verus.” They nodded at us and got up as well. “I will await your call.” 

 

“I like them,” I said after we’d said our good-byes and they'd left the room. “They remembered my name.” 

Morden smiled and sat down again. “Not exactly the qualifications we were looking for, but certainly not a bad sign either.”

“That was the last one, right?” I asked and moved to sit on the armrest of Morden’s chair. 

“Yes,” he confirmed. “A very fruitful day, all things considered. It shouldn’t be too hard to make a decision now. Tell me, what did you think of Tristan?”

“The fancy guy?” I huffed. “He might be a good talker but wouldn’t last a day when confronted with Light mage bureaucracy and pettiness without causing a massacre.” 

“What about Zacreni?”

I shook my head. “Skin thinner than the silk thread of a spider.”

“Cirra?”

“Tried to suffocate me after I asked her the same stupid question trice.”

“Hmm.” Morden rubbed his chin. “That confines the choice quite a bit. Who would you suggest?”

I didn’t have to think long about that question. “Nimar or Leizi.”

“Leizi it is then,” Morden decided and smiled at me. “You did very good work today, Alexander.” 

I smiled back, allowing Morden to gently stroke my thigh. He had really made an effort to call me by my first name in private after I’d asked him to, and for some reason he liked to use the full version instead of the shortened one. 

“It’s not every day you get to do your best to piss off as many Dark mages as possible, of course I had to seize the opportunity,” I joked. 

Morden gave a short laugh. “Of course.” He smiled indulgently and slowly let his hand slide up my body, rubbing over the waistcoat. 

“You look so amazing in that,” he said and pulled me onto the chair so that I was straddling his lap. “Irresistibly tempting.” His hand cupped the back of my neck, and he pulled me in for a kiss. 

I kissed back eagerly, propping myself up against the back of the chair with my arms and arched into his hands that were running up and down my body. Despite his proclaimed liking for my waistcoat Morden stripped it of me rather quickly. Then he moved on to fumbling with the buttons of my shirt, all while his tongue and lips were toying with mine in the most stimulating way possible.

Suddenly I heard a noise behind me and froze. Someone had come into the room and walked in on us in this embarrassingly compromising position, and I had been too distracted to see it coming. 

“Yes, Onyx?” Morden said, sounding inexplicably calm and confident. “What can I help you with?”

Onyx stammered something about complications with a mission that Morden had given him, and while I usually would have loved to listen in on this, right now I was way too humiliated to pay any attention. Morden however didn’t seem to care about what his Chosen saw and ignored me completely as he answered Onyx’s questions, acting as if I wasn’t still straddling his lap with an unbuttoned shirt, or as if his hands weren’t resting on my hips.

Luckily Onyx was about as uncomfortable with the situation as I was and took the first chance to leave. My face felt hot as I looked down, unable to meet Morden’s eyes. So far the only person that had walked in – or well, teleported in – on us had been Hermes, who didn’t quite understand what was happening but still had the decency to teleport right out again. This was way worse. 

Morden tilted my chin up to make me look at him. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “This was just so embarrassing.” 

Morden sighed. “I have told Onyx so many times already to knock before he enters, maybe he will finally start listening to that now.” 

“How are you so unfazed by this?” 

Instead of giving me an answer Morden just chuckled and then quickly distracted me from what had happened with his lips on mine. I moaned as he shifted to trailing kisses down my throat and over my chest, gently nipping at the skin with his teeth and finally helping me out of my shirt. He was still wearing way too many clothes, I decided and started to loosen his tie, but he soon batted my hands away and took it off himself. 

“Do you trust me not to hurt you?” he asked, looking up at me in earnest question. 

“Yes,” I replied and was surprised by the truth of it. While I certainly didn’t trust him indiscriminately, I had absolutely no doubt that he wouldn’t hurt me now. 

“Cross your hands behind your back, please,” Morden said. He slowly reached around me after I obeyed and carefully bound them together with his tie, regarding me critically to catch my reaction. 

At first I was a little confused and testingly pulled at the silken tie. It was very soft and yet secure, although Morden hadn’t tied it very tightly and it wouldn’t be too hard to get it off. Strangely enough I didn’t want to do that. I took a deep breath and pulled at the tie again, noticing how helpless it made me feel and how Morden was steadily holding me, making sure I wouldn’t fall. If I asked him to, he would untie me immediately. But to my surprise instead of being scared at being bound, it made me relax and even added pleasantly to the arousal I felt. 

“Beautiful,” Morden whispered and caressed my cheek. “You should see yourself, with that flush and those blown pupils, absolutely beautiful.” 

My eyes fluttered close and I leaned into his touch, whimpering softly and rolled my hips against his. Morden’s breath hitched, and with how close we were sitting I could feel that he was at least as interested in this as I was. 

“You are doing amazing, such a perfect darling,” he praised. “Tell me, Alex, are you going to be good for me tonight?”

I looked at him thoughtfully, gauging the possible futures and blushing even further at the delightful prospects. 

“Yes,” I said hoarsely and allowed him to pull me into a hungry kiss. 

Sufficient to say that neither of us got much sleep that night.

~~~

About a week before the Summer Ball at the end of August I returned to the mansion after another attempt to connect with the dreamstone had failed. Pathwalking showed that Morden wasn’t home yet, and I decided to use the time until dinner to look for a new book I could read. I did meet another occupant of the house on my way to the library, however.

“You’re so pathetic,” Onyx sneered at me. “But I guess that if you’re a weak mage, you just have to impress people with other things.”

I stopped walking and turned to him. “Excuse me?”

Apparently that was just the thing Onyx had been waiting for, and he continued, “I never got why Morden paid you any mind – you’re just weak and a coward – it didn’t make any sense why he’d want you as aide, but now I see how you got that job.” He looked me up and down with disgust, as if I were a cockroach he’d found in his kitchen. 

“You think Morden made me his aide because I sleep with him?” I snorted and shook my head in disbelief. “I’m sorry, but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Though I probably shouldn’t be too surprised – you’re also the dumbest person I know, after all.”

Onyx snarled, and I was certain that he would have attacked me if it weren’t for Morden’s strict order against fighting inside the house. 

“As if you don’t know that’s the truth! I should have been his aide; you somehow seduced him into giving you the position and are now repaying him like a whore!”

“That’s ridiculous, I’ve only been sleeping with him for less than a month!” I gave back, not sure whether I was actually insulted or just amused. “Also, I’m flattered by your assessment of my charms, but do you really think Morden would give out important jobs based on stuff like that?” 

“Well, he obviously has!” Onyx hissed. “Elsewise I would be his aide!” 

I laughed. “Alright, scratch what I said, that right now was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. He would have never made you his Council aide, because you’re not qualified for anything that doesn’t start and end at smashing things.” 

Violence flared up in the futures, and I involuntarily took a step backwards. 

“Morden forbid us to fight,” I warned and Onyx scoffed, but the futures in which he attacked me disappeared.

“Yeah, just keep hiding behind Morden,” he spat with contempt. “But you should know that that’s only temporary… once he loses interest in you there’ll be nothing protecting you any longer… and then I’ll kill you.” He gave me a derisive grin and stalked away.


	16. Summer Ball

Onyx moved out a few days later. According to Selene, he had gone to Morden with a complaint, which had quickly turned into a full-blown argument that was heard through the entire corridor. Selene refused to tell me the nature of it, but I strongly suspected that it had been about me. It was unclear whether Onyx had decided on his own, or whether Morden had thrown him out, all I knew was that he’d gotten his own apartment somewhere in a city and would continue to work for his master just like before. 

I definitely appreciated this new development, Onyx’s presence at the mansion had always been the thing that had bugged me the most about living here. Him moving out made the place that had become something of a home to me feel a lot safer. But while Onyx left, the things he’d said stayed on my mind. 

It was early in the morning at the day of the Summer Ball, and I lay in bed awake while Morden was still asleep. He had already meticulously picked out the suits we would wear tonight and given me an extensive list of who to talk to about what and why, with the first and foremost issue being Leizi’s appointment to the Light apprenticeship committee. In the last couple of weeks it had been increasingly hard not to forget that I wasn’t doing this job for him out of my own free will. I enjoyed working with Morden, and all his plans on the Council had seemed relatively harmless so far. It was easy to ignore that he was ultimately helping Richard.

I hated it so much. Why, just why did Morden have to be allied with Richard? What had happened with the Fateweaver and the other negative interactions between us were things that I could have eventually gotten over, but this was something I would never be able to disregard. We would always be on opposing sides there. 

I sighed and looked at Morden’s sleeping form, remembering the things Onyx had said to me. Of course I liked to think that Morden had feelings for me that went beyond basic physical attraction, but the truth was that I had no clue if he did. Maybe Onyx was right, and I really was nothing but a momentary interest to him, a short affair for his amusement, and would be dropped like a toy once he was done playing. 

My heart clenched and I snuggled closer to Morden. As much as I wished for the opposite, there was no denying that the mere thought of Morden eventually rejecting me hurt a lot. Was it inevitable? He had never said anything suggesting that emotions were involved for him, maybe I had been misreading something that was a simple arrangement of casual sex? To be fair, I had never laid my feelings open either, but I was just too scared of potentially making things awkward between us.

Even if it wasn’t what I ultimately wished for, I did like this thing we had right now. A lot, in fact. I smiled, thinking of all the delightful things we had done that I would have never even had considered just a short while ago. I buried my face against Morden’s neck and slowly breathed in his comforting scent.

~~~

“Very well, you may tell Councillor Morden that Councillor Druss will be voting for his proposal,” Ophelia said and allowed me to lead her into a turn, spinning gracefully on the tip of her toes.

As always on Council balls the dancing was seen as nothing but an opportunity to discuss business, and even this admittedly very pleasant dance was no exception. I pulled Ophelia back in and she positioned herself close again. She wore an elegant yellow dress that underlined her natural beauty, and as someone from the Unity Bloc, she was one of the few Council people that I got along with. 

“Councillor Morden will be supporting Councillor Druss’ position on the Sheffield case as well then,” I told her. She gave me a brilliant smile, which I couldn’t help but return. 

“You dance very well,” she said, abruptly switching the topic. 

I tried to not let my confusion show. “Thanks, I could say the same about you.” 

This made her laugh for a reason I couldn’t define, and she petted my arm with the hand resting on it. “Quite the charmer, aren’t you?” 

“I’m a diviner, actually,” I joked back, which made her giggle again. 

The song ended and I let go, but she kept holding my hand.

“As always it is a pleasure doing business with you, Verus,” she said sweetly.

“And with you,” I replied and pressed a polite kiss on her hand after the futures confirmed it as welcome. With one last laugh and a wink she disappeared into the crowd. 

Turning away from the dancefloor I went to look for Morden and was surprised to find him already walking in my direction with an unreadable expression. He nodded in greeting, then indicated for me to follow him with a curt gesture. I fell into step behind him. He led me to one of the private meeting rooms, held the door open for me and then closed it behind us. 

Probably he had been watching Ophelia and I dance and now wanted to know what she had said. Or maybe there had been a new development with Alma, whom Morden had been talking to before? I decided to check the futures of me opening the door again to watch her and get some clues. But suddenly all futures of me leaving the room vanished. 

I cried out as Morden pushed me against the wall, one hand closing around my neck, and I was painfully reminded of the last time we’d been in a similar position.

“What-“ 

He silenced me by pressing his lips against mine. 

_Guess that’s what we’re doing now_ , I thought and despite my initial shock I couldn’t help but return the kiss. I was still surprised by the force of it, possessive in a way that made my knees feel weak. I closed my eyes. His strong body pressed mine into the wall, one hand still holding me against my throat while the other had started roaming and tugging at my clothes. I needed to touch him. I made a move to stroke his chest, but he batted my hands away. 

“Put them up,” he ordered, dark eyes blazing, and he pulled my wrists above my head, pinning them there. Before I had the chance to catch my breath, he continued his onslaught. This time he trailed kisses down my neck, leaving marks beneath my now open collar and then soothing them with his tongue. I whimpered. His lips found mine again and we kissed, growing more and more passionate with each second. 

Suddenly he bit down and I moaned. The pain sent shivers of pleasure through my body, as did the resistance around my immobilised wrists, the pressure of the cold wall in my back, the hand now roaming under my shirt, the gently scratching nails, the bruising kisses…

I shifted my hips, trying to gain some room to grind against Morden, but he suddenly let go and stepped back. I whined at the loss of contact and stared at him dazedly, not moving and gasping for air. Somehow he looked as perfectly put together as always. Not one hair out of place, suit without any wrinkles, face schooled into an emotionless expression. I wanted him now. 

“Make sure you're presentable,” he said coldly, turned around and left. 

_Fuck_. I took a shaky breath and dropped my arms. My heart was racing, and my head still spun. How could he just leave me like this? Realisation hit me – I had totally forgotten we were at an official Council event. We had just been making out at an official Council event. What the hell? 

“Fuck,” I repeated, out loud this time, and looked at my reflection in the dark window. My clothes were rumpled, shirt pulled free of the trousers and open at the collar, my hair out of even the resemblance of order I had managed to style it in to, my face all flushed cheeks, swollen lips and blown pupils. Short, I was looking like a mess. I sighed and dutifully tried to make myself ‘presentable’ again.

~~~

Half an hour later I was still none the wiser about why Morden had done that… not that I had minded of course, but that didn’t change the strangeness of it. Sadly I hadn’t been able to ask him about it either, because from the moment on that I had finally left the meeting room, he had been in one important discussion after the other.

I took another sip from my glass. The champagne was probably horribly expensive, but that didn’t make the taste any better in my uneducated opinion. I was standing to the side of the room, waiting for people to approach me and growing more and more bored with every passing minute. 

The futures flickered and I looked up surprised. The next person to approach me was someone I hadn’t expected to do anything besides trying to avoid me. 

“Hey, Alex,” Sonder said. “How are you doing?” 

“I’m fine, thanks. You?” 

He nodded absentmindedly, making a rather nervous impression. I could see he was thinking about saying something, but his indecisiveness was making it impossible to get a clear future. Then it clicked into place. 

“I’m so sorry, Alex!” he blurted out. “It’s so awful!”

“What?” I was confused. 

Sonder continued babbling. “I’m truly sorry, I can’t believe he’s doing this to you! It’s really not okay and -” 

“Wait, what are you talking about?” I asked. “Who is doing what to me?” 

“Morden!” he exclaimed. “I tried to get a look into his plans, but then I saw how he assaulted you in the meeting room and I’m really so sorry.” 

Shit. Apparently, Sonder had intended to spy on our conversation to find out what evil Dark mage plans we’d discuss, and then gotten a nasty shock when his timesight revealed what had actually happened. But he somehow must have missed my rather enthusiastic consent, and now seemed to think Morden had assaulted me. It shouldn’t be too surprising, even though he thought of me as ‘too Dark’, he knew how much I’d hated Morden. And I guess the way Morden had acted all cold, possessive and dominant hadn’t necessarily helped Sonder’s perception either. 

“Oh, you mean that... there’s no need to worry about it, really."

Sonder looked at me sympathetically. “Of course there’s need to worry. It’s not okay, and no matter what he told you, you don’t have to stay silent about it.” 

I shifted uncomfortably. “It’s okay, I promise. Just please don’t tell anyone about this?” 

“No, Alex,” he said firmly. “There's no reason for you to be ashamed, and it's okay to ask for help.” 

This was embarrassing. How was I supposed to explain what had actually happened? I didn’t want to tell him about the drastic change in my relationship with Morden, but I also couldn’t let him think that Morden was abusing me. 

“That’s very kind, but believe me, you have a wrong impression there,” I said.

Sonder furrowed his brow. “But when you tried to push him away, he restrained you and just continued." 

"I wasn't trying to push him away."

“What?”

I swallowed and fidgeted with my cufflinks, feeling the heat rising to my face. “I wasn’t trying to push him away,” I repeated and took a deep breath. “We’ve been… intimate for a while now. Your concern is very kind, but I assure you that everything you saw was consensual.”

The expression of shock on Sonder’s face was almost comical. Then it changed into disgust.

“You’re having an affair with Morden?!” 

I jumped at the volume, nervously glancing around and hoping no one had heard him.

“I guess you could call it that, yes,” I admitted. 

He shook his head. “'I didn't think you were a great person anymore, but I really wouldn’t have thought you'd ever sink that low,” he spat out, and with one last glare of revulsion walked away.

Well, that went about as well as it could have been expected. Now Sonder actually had reasons to believe that I was getting too close with Dark mages, I thought bitterly and emptied my champagne in a swing. Despite having come to terms with the end of our friendship long ago, I felt a stab of pain at his clear disgust towards me. And maybe he was right. Maybe I was a bad person for sleeping with Morden. 

Right on cue, as if he’d been waiting for Sonder to leave, Morden appeared from the crowd and slid into place next to me. 

“What was that about?” he asked, taking the empty glass out of my hand and replaced it with new one. 

I huffed but explained to him in curt words that Sonder had seen us in timesight, and what his conclusion had been. 

“And what did you tell him?” Morden seemed amused. Looking more closely however, I could tell that he was upset. Probably unsettled that someone would assume something like this about him - or indagated that they would think he’d be unable to find enough people willing to sleep with him. 

“The truth,” I said and looked away. “Why did you do that anyway? Here in public, where anyone could see?”

Morden chuckled. "Why, I don't remember you complaining about it earlier. Quite the opposite, in fact." His sly grin made me blush. 

“That’s not the point,” I objected. 

“What is it you are upset about, Verus? Are you embarrassed about me?” Morden asked and raised an offended eyebrow. 

I shook my head, feeling a little guilty at the implication. "No, of course not. It's just..." I bit my lip nervously. “It’s just embarrassing that someone I know saw us. And thinks very badly of me now.” 

Morden sighed. “Light mages are terribly sensitive about these kinds of things.” 

I gave a nondescript hum, starting to get angry. Of course it was easy to him. As Dark mage he was used to simply doing and taking whatever he wanted, without giving a damn about what other people thought. But unlike to him, this wasn’t just an inconsequential fling to me. 

Maybe Sonder really was right in his disgust. I was in love with a Dark mage, who probably saw me as nothing more than a brief amusement. Hadn’t the incident earlier shown just that? That to him this was just about what he got out of it, and not what I would have wanted? He had felt like making out with me and done that until he lost interest, then stopped and left me there. 

My mood for the evening was definitely ruined.

~~~

After the incident with Sonder had shown that it wasn’t safe for us to discuss Council business at the ball, we moved that conversation to when we returned to the mansion. We were talking in our favourite sitting room, but I found it increasingly hard to focus on the matters at hand as I was still very grumpy.

Apparently, I wasn’t very good at hiding it either, because Morden eventually sighed and asked, “What’s the matter, Alex? You seem upset.”

I hesitated; I could hardly tell him about what was really troubling me. But if I was being entirely honest, there was a lot more than just the one thing bugging me right now.

“You just left me there!” I said accusingly and stood up. “You started something and then just suddenly left me alone like that!”

"Oh?” Morden smirked. “What else would you have preferred? Should I have taken you right there, up against the wall? Or bent you over the table?” He got up from where he was sitting and slowly walked towards me. “Do you think you could have kept quiet enough not to shout out to all those people what I was doing to you? Or would I have had to gag you, maybe with your own tie?"

I swallowed and took half a step backwards, unsure of what to say, because those things did sound terribly appealing. I remembered the first time Morden had gagged me a couple of nights ago, ‘ _to teach that smart mouth of yours some manners_ ’. Indignant I had tried to spit curses at him, all while being very careful not to accidentally ring the bell he had given me as a means to safeword. 

Morden’s smirk grew as he looked me over. “Oh yes, I do think you would have preferred that. How very naughty.”

“I didn’t say that!” I protested.

“No. But you thought it.” Morden tutted. “So impatient and greedy… at an official Council event, no less. So shameless.” He shook his head and stepped closer. “Tell me, Alexander, what am I to do with you now?”

My face must have been beet red as I stood there squirming; sometimes Morden’s tone of voice and aura of confidence were simply unfair. But two could play that game, I decided and reached out to slowly run my hands over the front of his jacket.

“May I remind you of the fact that _you_ were the one who started it?” I said and gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile. “So who _really_ is the impatient and greedy one?” I pulled him closer by the lapels of his suit and kissed him deeply, only to let go a few seconds later, and moved out of his reach. 

Morden clicked his tongue. “Careful there, do you really think cheekiness will do you any good now?” he purred with a dangerous twinkle in his eyes and stepped into my personal space again. 

My mouth felt dry and I nervously bit my lip, how the hell did he have this imposing effect on me even though he was the smaller one? 

“And what are you going to do about it?” I challenged, sounding a lot more confident than I felt. 

“Well, I guess I’ll have to shut you up now,” Morden smirked before doing so with a kiss, which quickly left me breathless. My knees felt weak and I grabbed a handful of his hair to keep me steady, pressing closer to alleviate the need for friction. 

Morden pushed me back by my shoulders. “Bedroom, now,” he ordered and gave me a slap on the ass in passing. I looked after him and then quickly obeyed. Even if this wasn’t as important to Morden as it was to me, I could still try to enjoy it while it lasted.

~~~

A bit over an hour later I was sitting in Morden’s big bathtub, exhaustedly leaning against him after he had gently washed my body and hair. The warm water soothed the marks and welts on my skin, making me feel all soft, pliant and safe. It was weird to feel safe with Morden of all people. I loved those calm and quiet times after sex in which he took care of me, they made it very easy to imagine that he actually cared. But of course I knew that he probably only did this out of obligation.

Luna would have told me to simply ask him instead of accepting this as an unsolvable mystery. I snorted, there was no way I could say something along “by the way, do you actually care about me, or is that just part of what you get off to?”. I shook my head. 

“How are you feeling?” Morden asked. 

“Good,” I replied. “I’m sorry I was so grumpy earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He slowly rubbed over my arms. “I understand that you didn’t want anyone else to learn of this.” 

I sighed and snuggled closer against his chest. “It’s alright, I just hope he won’t tell it around,” I admitted. 

“Why?” Morden asked. “What does it matter if other people know?” 

“Well, to you it probably doesn’t, because no one would dare to make fun of you anyways,” I said. “But to me? I probably would never hear the end of it.” 

Morden hugged me tighter. “Do tell me if anyone steps across the line too far, will you? I cannot tolerate others disrespecting my personal aide, after all.”

“Yes, I will,” I promised, even though I was unsure whether this really was about protecting me or simply a Council politics thing. 

“Good boy,” Morden praised and pressed a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled and closed my eyes. Sometimes it was way too easy to pretend that he actually cared.


	17. Fallout

Of course it had been naïve of me to hope that our affair would stay a secret after what had happened at the Summer Ball. I didn’t know whether Sonder had spread it around on purpose or whether someone had overheard our conversation, but either way it had quickly become the rumour everyone talked about. The first time Morden and I had entered the War Rooms after the ball, people had been openly staring and even whispering to each other, a behaviour which Morden simply dismissed as childish and chose to ignore. The gossip didn’t seem to concern him one bit. For me however it was a lot harder to ignore, as I had already suspected. 

“I always thought Morden gave you this job because you helped him set up the White Rose raid in January, not because of something like _this_ ,” Lyle spat.

I sighed; Lyle was by far not the first person this week to suggest something like this. At first I had been abashed and didn’t know how to respond to these allegations or other comments about the affair. I had tried to argue against them by insisting that I had never even wanted this job, but of course none of the Council mages or Keepers believed me. 

The Keepers especially where quite harsh in their judgement, and if any of them hadn’t thought that I was colluding with the Dark mages before, they definitely did so now. Some of the things I had heard from them when I’d made the mistake to check in at Keeper HQ certainly could have been considered as ‘stepping across the line too far’, but even though I had promised to, I didn’t dare to tell Morden. I had no idea what exactly he would do about it, and although the comments did hurt, I had no desire to potentially see someone killed over them. 

“Is it really so hard to believe that he made me his aide simply because he thought I was qualified?” I gave back. I had never liked having to talk to Lyle for this job, but right now he was annoying me even more than usual. 

Lyle narrowed his eyes. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve worked to get to this position?” he hissed. “Years and years, as has every other aide, except for _you_! Apparently all _you_ had to do was flutter your eyes at Morden!”

Compared to the expressions other people had thrown at me that was one of the quite euphemistic and nice ones. It still pissed me off a lot, and for a moment I forgot that I actually wanted to convince the Centrists of supporting Leizi’s appointment to the apprenticeship committee. 

"Why, are you jealous?” I asked provokingly. “It's not my fault that you are the wrong gender for Undaaris… though I guess you’d be way, way too old for his tastes either way.”

“I… what?” Lyle looked at me in confusion. 

I gave him a thin-lipped smile. “Oh, so you really don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?” Lyle demanded.

“That’s something your boss should tell you himself,” I said. “Just ask him, he’ll know exactly what I mean.” 

Lyle huffed. “I highly doubt that.” He clearly was done with talking to me, turned away and left.

I leaned back against the seat in my usual booth of the antechamber, chiding myself for the lack of restraint. After this it would take a while until Lyle was ready to talk to me again, and therefore even longer until he would agree to a deal that furthered Morden’s proposal. Though if Lyle did ask Undaaris about what I had told him, maybe this reminder of the blackmail Morden had on him could speed up the negotiations.

~~~

With how careful Talisid tended to be, I had been expecting him to at least question my loyalties when he found out about the affair. Luckily his trust in my hate for Richard seemed to be strong enough, and even after I had confirmed the rumour in our regular check-up he didn’t accuse me of switching sides.

“When I said to use your position at his home to get information, I didn’t mean that you should deploy methods like that,” Talisid said through the communicator. 

I was sitting up on the hill overlooking the valley with Morden’s mansion, as this had turned out to be the most convenient and secure spot for these secret conversations. In public parks there were too many potential listeners around, and while I hadn’t found any hints that Morden was monitoring communications from inside the mansion, I didn’t quite dare to risk it. I found myself feeling a bit guilty for betraying Morden like that and had to explicitly remind myself that this was the only way I had to fight Richard at the moment. 

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. 

“Good.” Talisid’s voice took on a more concerned tone. “He isn't pressuring you though, is he?”

I sighed and sunk back to lie on the rock I had been sitting on. “Jesus Christ, not you too.” 

It annoyed me that he would suspect that, but then again I could see where he was coming from. The last thing he knew was that I hated Morden, and combined with the fact of how much power he theoretically had over me, a conclusion like this really wasn’t too far off. I snorted; it most certainly wouldn’t help either if he knew about some of the specifics of what Morden did with me.

“Well?” Talisid prodded. 

I sighed again. “No, he isn’t pressuring me into anything. I guess...” I hesitated. “I guess I'm just having fun? Thanks for your concern though,” I added. A lot worse than the people that were worried about Morden abusing me had been the, thankfully, very few ones who assumed it and then took it as a basis to make fun of me. 

“Are you really sure about this?” Talisid asked. “I understand that Morden is attractive, and that you have been forced to spend a lot of time in his company and adjust to him, but are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Well, it’s a bit late to stop now, you know.”

“Better late than too late.”

“It'll be fine, don't worry,” I said. “It's just a brief fling, it won't mean anything.” My heart clenched on that, because I knew it was true. 

“If you say so,” Talisid relented. “But be careful, and don't expect him to make any exceptions for you because of that, he is a Dark mage.”

I swallowed. “I know, I’m not stupid.”

~~~

_September_

I was hanging out with Luna at Arachne’s after we had given up on our dreamstone experiments for the day. She and Variam were having one of their many arguments again, which I generally tried to stay out of, and Anne still wasn’t talking to me. Just like I wasn’t talking to her in return. 

“By the way, have I already told you about how Sonder came to warn me about you again?” Luna asked.

“This is about what happened at the ball, right?”

“Yeah,” Luna confirmed. “He called me the very next day to tell me about what he saw and warn me that you might be getting quite deep with some Dark mages… Was he surprised when I told him I already know and asked for details of what he saw.” She snickered. 

“Luna!” I exclaimed and sat up. “You didn’t! It’s bad enough that Sonder saw…”

“What, that you like it when Morden pushes you around?” she grinned, raising an eyebrow at me. 

I groaned and hid my burning face in my hands. Why did Sonder have to tell her about that? Why had she even asked? But not even at this point did Luna’s curiosity end. 

“Do you always let him order you around?” she inquired intrusively. “What else does he do; does tie you up? Does he whip you? Do you call him ‘sir’?” Her eyebrow arched up higher and higher with each question. 

“That’s personal! “I spluttered. “And no, I don’t call him ‘sir’ or anything like that.”

“So the rest was correct?”

“Luna!” I called again, desperation creeping into my voice. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Hey, it’s not every day that your best friend is having kinky sex with a Dark mage, of course I’m curious,” Luna explained with a shrug. 

“Still, I don’t ask you about what you and Vari are doing in bed either,” I grumbled and crossed my arms. 

“Why, do you want to know?”

“No!” I shouted quickly. “Can we please stop talking about this?” 

“Fine,” Luna finally backed down. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about anyways.”

I gestured at her to continue, anything to get away from this topic. 

“You know how it’s Anne’s birthday next Monday, right?” Luna began hesitantly. “I wanted to throw a surprise party on the weekend in the Hollow, and well, it’d be nice if you were there too.”

My face hardened. “I don’t think she’d want me there, though. It would probably be just awkward.”

“But it’d be really awkward if you weren’t there either!” Luna answered back. “Maybe you could try to make up before the party?”

I shrugged. “Sure, I’m open to talk with her any time. It’s her who’s been ignoring me,” I said bitterly. “If she wants to make up, she can just call me.”

“She probably won’t do that in time, and I can’t tell her to make up with you for her own birthday surprise party,” Luna said. “But I know that she misses you and would probably talk to you – if you take the first step.”

I was reluctant to be the one who reached out again after Anne had rebuffed all my previous attempts, especially since I saw myself in the right. But under the pleading way Luna looked at me my resolve crumbled quickly. 

“Alright,” I relented. “I’ll go pay her a visit on Friday.”

~~~

True to my word, I stayed in London on Friday after my duty at the War Rooms had ended for that day. I had decided that it would be my best chance to catch Anne at her clinic, and so I took the underground and then walked the rest of the way from the station. Ostensibly I was doing this for Luna, but if I was entirely honest, even more so for myself.

I had missed Anne a lot this past month, and while I had been angry at her for ignoring me, I did know from experience that the ingrained trauma reflex to protect oneself was very hard to put aside. And I understood Anne’s worries about my relationship with Morden, especially since I found it increasingly hard disregard my own doubts lately. I would try my best to make up with Anne, apologise for the way I had shouted at her the last time we’d talked, and then hope that it would help the both of us to discuss everything. 

Luna had said that Anne would probably talk to me, but I had no clue how she was going to welcome me, or where this conversation would go. I tried to look ahead with pathwalking and frowned when I found the door gaping wide open with an empty flat behind. Would Anne be out for a quick errant at the time I’d arrive? Curious I began to explore paths in which I quickened my walking tempo to see if I could meet her before she left. But what I eventually found sent a cold shudder over my back. I ran. 

My wild sprint could have been dangerous, and I relied heavily on my divination to avoid falling up the stairs. I slowed down when I reached the door to the flat and made my way towards the room Anne used to treat her patients in, pulling out the small handgun I had started to carry with me whenever I came to London. There wasn’t enough time to call for reinforcements or to formulate a plan. 

I jumped into the room and fired at the tall, dark-skinned mage who had been in the process of opening a gate. Instead of striking him in the forehead as I had hoped they would, the bullets ricocheted from his strong force shield and hit the wall. 

His much smaller and white companion looked up in surprise from where he’d been kneeling next to an unmoving Anne. I grimaced; I had met these mages before. Lightbringer and Zilean, the two Crusader operatives that had attacked me at the Vault and almost succeeded in kidnapping Luna. They must have surprised Anne by pretending to be patients and then used some sort of drug to knock her out.

“Now look who’s here, it’s the aide himself,” Zilean said as he stood, pulling Anne up and holding her in front of him. “We came for the healer, but this is much better.”

“Let Anne go!” I demanded and aimed at Zilean, angry at how he tried to use Anne’s body as a shield. Not that he would have needed it, I noted with distress, the force shield Lightbringer had erected was strong enough to successfully block any bullet I fired.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to give orders, Verus,” Zilean said and a small lightning ball began to crackle threateningly close to Anne’s chest. “Drop the gun or she dies.”

I didn’t move, searching all possible futures in my mind and quickly found that the lightning mage wasn’t bluffing one bit. They had wanted to abduct Anne because she was one of Morden’s liaisons, but with me they had found a much more promising target and wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice Anne’s life to get to it.

“I said, drop the gun!” Zilean shouted, and the lightning moved even closer to Anne’s chest. 

I took a deep breath, no matter how hard I searched, there was only one future in which Anne survived. Slowly I bent down to put the gun on the floor.

Zilean grinned. “Good. Now push it over!” 

With no other choice left I obeyed and kicked the gun across the floor, where Lightbringer picked it up. I knew what would await me once the Crusaders caught me, I remembered clearly what had happened to Morden’s previous aides, and I couldn’t stop the fear rising in me. Yet I didn’t resist when Lightbringer roughly cuffed my hands behind my back, because no matter how terrified I was, there was no way I could let my friend die. 

Zilean dropped Anne unceremoniously to the floor. “Open a gate and then we can get out of here,” he instructed his companion.

“I don’t know anything about Morden’s plans, and neither does Anne!” I insisted. Lightbringer continued to hold on to my arms while he focussed on conjuring a gate. 

“We’ll see,” Zilean said and pulled out a syringe. I started struggling as he approached, but Lightbringer had finished the gate and intensified his grip, keeping me still enough for his partner to inject the drug into my neck. It was as if I could feel ice spreading through my veins and I sagged under the sudden fatigue, the strong hands around my arms soon the only thing holding me up. 

"What about the girl?” a deep-rumbling voice asked behind me. It took me a moment to realise that it had been Lightbringer who had spoken, and even longer that he was referring to Anne, who was still unconscious on the floor.

“Leave her, we only prepared for one guest,” Zilean answered. There was movement around me, and I was being pulled backwards into the gate. The last thing I saw before we went through was how Anne’s eyes flew open in a panic and locked with mine. Then, everything went black.


	18. Confessions

The first thing I noticed was the throbbing pain in my head, probably a side-effect of the knock-out drug. But when I opened my eyes, I quickly realised that that was soon going to be the least of my problems. I was strapped onto a long, wide table in the middle of a mostly empty room, unable to move and shivering in the cold air without any of my clothes. Twisting my head I could see that the entire room was thickly lined with brown padding, except for the big metal door in the opposite wall. I pulled at the bindings around my wrists and ankles, but all the futures showed the same: no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t be getting away. 

I twisted and pulled more desperately when I saw that I wasn’t going to be alone for much longer, but none of the tight straps gave way. The door opened and Lightbringer walked in, pushing a small wheeled trolley, and regarded me emotionlessly. Usually I would have been uncomfortable about my nakedness, but right now there were more pressing issues. 

“He’s awake,” Lightbringer said over his shoulder and pushed the trolley against the wall to my right. There were two trays on it, filled with all kinds of different instruments, including scalpels, forceps, hammers and even a soldering iron. I didn’t know the exact use of every implement, but the gist was quite clear.

“Let me go!” I demanded. “I know nothing of Morden’s plans, this is just a waste of time!”

“Please, none of those lies anymore.” Zilean shut the massive door behind him. “If you just tell us what you know, this doesn’t have to become too uncivilised.”

“It’s not a lie, it’s the truth!” I insisted, watching warily how Zilean stopped in front of the trolley and viewed its contents. “Just get a mind mage, they’ll confirm it.”

Zilean ignored me. “What do you know about the planned attack on the War Rooms?” he asked instead.

“Nothing,” I replied truthfully. “I don’t even know if there’s an attack planned at all. Morden doesn’t talk to me about his plans, he doesn’t trust me.”

Lightbringer huffed in disbelief. “You are his personal aide, Verus,” he said and stepped closer to me. “Of course he trusts you.”

“Maybe with his minor plans in the Council, yes, but not with stuff like this. I’m not on his side, I’m very much trying to fight Richard, actually, so you guys really got the wrong person here.”

“You’re not a very good liar,” Zilean said, running his fingers over the collection of instruments, as if he had troubles deciding which to use on me first. “Everyone knows you’re a Dark mage; you were Drakh’s apprentice and now you’re working for him and Morden. You are not the wrong, but probably the best person for this.”

“I’m not a Dark mage!” I protested. “I ran away from Richard and would never willingly work for him, he forced me to do this!” 

Zilean gave a short laugh. “You’re not a Dark mage, what a joke! Stop these lies and tell us what you know about the planned attack on the War Rooms!” 

“I’m not lying, and I don’t know anything about that attack or any other potential plan, because Morden doesn’t tell me anything!” I gave back with frustration. My mind kept repeating the stories I had heard about the fate of Morden’s previous aides, and I was beginning to panic. 

“We know you are his lover,” Lightbringer said as if that was an argument. “You know what he plans.”

I snorted. “I agree with you that Morden is probably involved in some not so clean business, but I’m sorry to tell you that that’s not what the term ‘dirty talk’ refers to.”

Clearly this had been the wrong thing to say. My head was thrown to the side and slammed against the table with the incredible force Lightbringer had put into his slap, and my vision went black for a moment. 

“Stop this circus and tell us what you know!” he growled as tears shot into my eyes and I dazedly blinked up at him. My left cheek stung where I was sure his broad hand had left a mark that would bruise later, and I felt blood trickle from the temple on the other side of my head. 

“Let’s try again,” Zilean said from across the room. “What do you know about the planned attack on the War Rooms?” He finally seemed to have made a decision and turned around, holding one of the smaller hammers in his hand. I felt sick.

“Nothing,” I said, unable to keep the fear from creeping into my voice. “I don’t know anything about his plans, believe me.” 

Zilean shook his head in fake disappointment. “None of that anymore, Verus. You know why we can’t believe that; just tell us the truth and this will be over quickly.”

“This is the truth, I really don’t know; I’m not on Morden’s side, I swear!” I insisted.

“You don’t leave us another choice,” Zilean sighed and started walking towards me. The futures crystallised into a clearer and clearer image and I struggled in my bonds, trying but failing to keep my right hand balled into a fist as Lightbringer plied it open. Zilean came to stand close to the table where his companion forced me to splay my fingers against the surface. 

“What do you know about the planned attack on the War Rooms?”

I shook my head, trying my best to keep the sobs from breaking out. There was nothing I could do to stop this, and my visions of the futures began to overlay with some of my most painful memories, Zilean’s face above blurring into to Tobruk’s and back. 

“One last chance,” Zilean warned. “What do you know about the planned attack on the War Rooms?”

“I don’t know anything, please, I’m telling the truth, I swear; I really don’t know, please just get a mind mage, they’ll tell you, please-“

Zilean shook his head with a sigh. “You just don’t leave us any other choice.” He raised the hammer.

“No, please, you don’t have to do this,” I begged. “Please don’t do this, please don’t-“ 

Lightbringer held my fingers in place as Zilean brought the hammer down. I screamed.

~~~

Zilean put the bloody knife down next to me on the table. I had no idea how much time had passed as my perception was purely dominated by pain. My voice had given out a while ago, and my right hand was nothing but a mess of broken bones, its sharp throbbing pain barely standing out over the agony in the rest of my body. The air was filled with the sweet tang of burned flesh, a smell bad enough on its own turned even more nauseating by the knowledge that it came from me.

I was close to unconsciousness again, but they had always forced me awake immediately, never allowing me even the briefest of respites. The questions had stayed the same all throughout and I’d answered them nothing but truthfully so far, amidst assertions of honesty and pleas for mercy that went unheard. I considered to simply make something up the next time they asked, just so that this would stop, and they’d finally kill me. I knew I wouldn’t be getting out of this alive. 

“I’ll go check on that,” Lightbringer said, and I realised only in retrospect that there must have been some sort of noise downstairs, which he went to investigate. I had long given up on using my divination, for all it meant was that I had to go through the inevitable pain twice. 

Zilean picked out another of his horrid devices, and I was unable to keep in the whimpers when I saw the terrifying bone saw in his hands. His cold smile, which I had learned to fear, disappeared at the sound of shouts and a crash from outside. He frowned and walked to the door. 

Suddenly he flew back in a blast of dark energy and a clap of thunder and slammed against the opposite wall with a sickening _crack_. There was a future in which I made the painful mistake to lift my head, and the flash of what I saw made my heart skip. Morden stood in the doorway, pure fury on his face, and black lightning crackling all around him. 

There were quick steps on the parquet floor, multiple people around me, and I heard someone speak in a commanding voice. A cold finger carefully touched my forehead.

 _Anne_ , I realised, looking up into her worried face. She was saying something in a soothing tone that I couldn’t understand. I closed my eyes and gently slipped into unconsciousness.

~~~

It took several days, in which I mostly slept, until I was back on my feet again. According to Anne, the individual injuries hadn’t been too dangerous on their own, but it was the sheer mass of them that took a big toll on my body. She’d even had to heal them in portions, to make sure that the used energy didn’t exceed my body’s ability for regeneration. All throughout my recovery in the Hollow Anne barely left my side. Whenever I woke up she was there to gently reassure me, help me drink and feed me some sort of protein-paste.

My friends were still shaken after I was almost entirely recovered, and to be fair, so was I. At the moment I managed rather well by trying to ignore what had happened, but I knew that this wasn’t going to be a successful strategy in the long run. Even though my body would be recovered soon, the mental aspects of it would take a long time.

Luna hugged me with a gingerliness as if she was scared I would break, and even Variam gave me a careful embrace. They had brought take-out food from Luna’s favourite Thai restaurant, and Anne and I enthusiastically dug in sitting next to each other, while they recounted the rescue. 

“It took Anne a bit to break down the rest of the sedative, but she called us as soon as she could move, and we came immediately,” Luna said.

“How did Morden find out about it?” I asked. 

“I called him,” Anne said and shrugged when I turned my head to her in surprise. “We didn’t know where they took you or what to do, so it seemed worth a shot.”

I smiled at her and awkwardly squeezed her hand. The last couple of days had went by in a blur, but somewhere in there we’d managed to put our previous argument aside and reconnect. 

“Morden was there super quickly and just instantly took charge,” Luna continued. “He brought people that tracked the gate and found the place they were holding you in. At first he wanted to only take Anne, but I made quite clear that that wasn’t happening, and so we all went.” 

The image of Luna standing up to Morden and him yielding to her definitely had something. 

“Where did they hold me?” Just thinking of who ‘they’ referred to and what they’d done to me in the duration of this story made my throat close up, and I desperately tried to ban the memory. 

“A small house in Walthamstow,” Variam replied. “It was shrouded, so we didn’t know how many people to expect, and we had to be careful so they wouldn’t kill you before we got to you. Luna used that spell Chalice taught her to wreck the cameras, and then we split up; Anne and I took the back entrance, Luna and Morden the front.”

“He just kicked the door in,” Luna said with a hint of awe. “And when we were inside and that tall guy came at us, Morden just finished him off before there even was a fight.”

“He was so angry,” Variam added and shivered. “It was scary.” Luna and Anne agreed with that assessment. I thought back of the moment I’d seen Morden in pure rage, death energy all around him, but instead of fear all I’d felt was relief.

“We found you upstairs after Morden took care of the other guy. You were…” Luna swallowed and shook her head, tears in her eyes. 

I paused and put down my fork. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” I said quietly. 

Luna snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“What happened to them, Lightbringer and Zilean?” I asked. I really didn’t want to think about them only for a single second, but I had to know.

“Morden killed them,” Anne said matter-of-factly. “One with death magic and the other broke his neck when the kinetic strike slammed him into a wall.” 

“Oh,” I said, unsure of what else I should say, and even less sure of what I was supposed to feel. 

Luna must have seen something in my expression because she hugged me again. “I’m just so glad we found you in time and that you’re okay now.” 

“Me too.” I patted Luna’s back. “Thank you guys so much for the rescue.”

Luna squeezed me a bit tighter. “We were so worried about you. Even Morden was.” 

“Really?” I said and gently pushed her back.

“Yeah,” Variam confirmed. “He seemed really upset and at first didn’t want us to take you here, but Anne insisted.”

“Does he know I’m okay now?” I asked, damning the non-existent phone signal, which in my eyes was one of the biggest downsides of living in the Hollow. 

“Yes, Anne gave me his number, and so I’ve been giving him updates on your recovery,” Luna replied. “He seemed confused when I referred to you as his boyfriend, though.” She grinned. 

I gaped. “You did what?!”

“Why?” Variam frowned. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know…” I muttered. “We never talked about that. We haven’t even agreed on being exclusive.”

My friends stared at me in surprise.

“Alex,” Luna said exasperated. “You guys kissed for the first time ages ago. I know way too many details about your sex life. But you never talked about your relationship status?” 

I blushed and mumbled something about how we never talked about it because Morden didn’t love me back anyways, and so why would I ask about that, it would just be embarrassing and make things awkward. 

Luna sighed. “Alex, you're the dumbest person I've ever met.”

“Hey!” I protested. 

“I confess, I used to be quite sceptical, but after seeing how worried he was?” Variam shook his head. ”That guy might be evil, but he clearly cares about you.”

“Maybe,” I admitted. “I guess he does like me, but that doesn’t mean he loves me seriously. And even if he does, he just doesn't seem like the kind of guy who does ‘boyfriends’, you know?” I looked around questioningly, resting on Anne, waiting for her to give her opinion on the matter. 

“I think,” she said after a while. “You should definitely talk to him about that.”

~~~

I returned to the mansion after Anne had given her okay. My health wasn’t entirely restored yet, but I presumably wouldn’t need any more life magic treatments. I had texted Morden in advance, and so he was waiting for me on the doorstep when I arrived. The futures were fluctuating as he considered different actions, but in the end he settled on meeting me halfway across the gravel driveway and hugged me close.

I squeezed him back tightly, burying my face against his neck, and allowed myself to relax into his warm embrace. 

“How are you?” Morden asked and pushed me back gently to look me over. 

“Alright, I guess,” I replied, mustering up a tired smile. “Anne really outdid herself again.”

Morden smiled back softly. “I am glad.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and lead me towards the house. 

“Thank you so much for coming to save me,” I said when we reached the door and didn’t complain when he helped me up the steps. 

“Of course,” Morden said as if it were a given, but I was versed enough in Dark mage culture to know that in fact it was far from that. 

Lisa and Selene waited inside to express their happiness at my healthy return and offered freshly baked scones with tea, which I was unable to refuse after the intense healing process. Morden tactfully respected my unwillingness to talk about what had happened and readily filled me in on all the Council business I’d missed. It was good to be back. 

I couldn’t stop myself from initiating a kiss after I’d finished off the scones, and soon Morden lifted me up on the windowsill for better access. The kisses were very soft and slow, he carefully held me by my waist, and I pulled him close with an arm around his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his middle. 

Of course it had been silly to assume that he would have forgotten about it, and so I wasn’t too surprised when he brought up that Luna had called me his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry about that, she somehow assumed it, but it’s not what I told her, I promise. I wouldn't have leaned out of the window like that,” I said meekly. 

Morden shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m not upset,” he assured. “I’m merely surprised, as you appeared to be embarrassed enough about just being intimate with me. I am well aware that you aren’t interested in any kind of commitment.”

“What?” I looked at him in confusion. “It’s not that I mind commitment; I just thought that you didn't, you know, want anything involving ‘unproductive emotions’.” 

Morden reached up to cup my face, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb. 

“I'm afraid it might be too late for that,” he said with a fond expression. “I love you, Alexander.”

My eyes widened and I stared at him in surprise, letting out a quiet “Oh.” It seemed impossible to believe, and my heart felt like it was bursting. Overwhelmed I hugged him tighter and hid my face against his shoulder. 

“I love you too,” I whispered back, feeling how Morden’s breath hitched and he pulled me closer, pressing a kiss against my neck. 

“I would have never thought this possible,” he admitted quietly. “Not after everything I did.”

I swallowed. “Me neither.” 

Morden drew back and looked at me earnestly. “Alexander…” he began, clearly struggling with what he wanted to say. “I would like to apologise for all the harm I’ve caused you. There has barely been anything I’ve come to regret more.”

This wasn’t something I would have ever expected him to say, and I didn’t know how to reply. 

“I promise that I won’t ever hurt you again,” he added intently. 

“Oh, really?” I asked with a smirk. “Not even when I want you to? Do I have to look for a new lover now?”

Morden stopped short for a moment, then laughed. “You will be the death of me,” he prophesised with a lopsided grin. 

I giggled and willingly tilted my head back to expose my throat as he started trailing his lips over my neck. Yes, it really was good to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look at [this](https://amaranthia-draws.tumblr.com/image/187882930652) amazing picture [amaranthia-draws](https://amaranthia-draws.tumblr.com/) made! Also can only recommend checking out her Alex Verus tag (and the entire blog in general) for more awesome art!


	19. Dreams and nightmares

There was almost something magical about the following days. Both Morden and I were overwhelmed to have our feelings reciprocated, although Morden was a lot better at hiding it, of course. Morden loved me. And I loved him. At moments it still seemed impossible and like a dream, but even though I was expecting it, the rude awakening had yet to come. 

I had no idea how we were going to deal with this in the long term; the fact that we were essentially on opposing sides of a conflict, that was more and more coming to a head, continued to stay unaddressed. Maybe Morden still thought that I would eventually come around and work with Richard, while I in return had no such delusions about him. His love for me wouldn’t change his goals and loyalties.

It came as a surprise to me when I managed to convince him to let Lisa and Selene go rather quickly. I had prepared for a big argument, readied myself to follow through with my threat of leaving him, but he gave into my demands quite easily, even agreeing to pay them a horrendous sum of money and protect them in the future. 

According to what Lisa had told me, the fear of simply being taken by the next Dark mage, who might treat them way worse, had been the main reason for why she and Selene had more or less chosen to stay with Morden, after he’d gotten them from someone else as payment. Of course no amount of money could ever repay the harm and injustice done, but it would hopefully be more than enough to guarantee them a calm and comfortable life from now on. It was the least they deserved.

“I take it that you would prefer dama as servants, then?” Morden asked me.

I scoffed. “Hell no, those things are fucking creepy. Just hire people like a normal person.”

Morden seemed amused by my strong feelings but did decide to indulge me. Against our expectations, it turned out that there actually were a lot of sensitives who were willing to work for a prominent Dark mage when promised protection, good treatment and a more than generous salary. Morden’s seat on the Council probably helped a lot with his credibility, and so the mansion was soon staffed again, only this time by properly employed professionals.

~~~

I always used to think that I didn’t like physical contact, but had found out that physical contact with Morden was actually pretty great. Somehow it seemed that I just couldn’t get enough of it. I took every excuse to hug him, hold his hand, or just casually lean against him, and to my great joy he didn’t mind. We went on many walks out in the beautiful countryside, which had started to show the first signs of the oncoming autumn, and Morden used the opportunity to show me all his favourite spots. During the time I was still recovering he had helpfully offered me his arm to hold on to and didn’t comment on it when I continued to take it once my strength had returned.

He was incredibly gentle now in general, and even though he tried to hide it, I knew that he too had been quite shaken by what had happened to me. His touches and kisses were always careful and soft, he tried to let me take the lead and made certain I was always comfortable. At first I very much enjoyed this treatment, especially given the love declaration, but when it continued even days after I was fully healed, I missed him being rough with me. 

“I really do appreciate you being gentle, you know,” I told him eventually after he had carefully put me down onto the bed. “But please just fuck me properly again?” 

Morden had laughed at my request, but thankfully it had been impulse enough for him to finally give me what I wanted. 

As much as I tried to push it aside, there was no denying that my recent encounter with the Crusaders had left its impacts. At least not after I had gotten a panic attack at being tied down to the bed. Of course Morden suggested that we should simply leave such things be for now, but to me that would have felt too much like I was allowing Lightbringer and Zilean to influence my life even further than they already had. I insisted that we tried again, first by just having Morden carefully hold me down without restraints, and to slowly work our way up. 

Another problem were the nightmares. I’d had them since Richard, but they had become rather infrequent over the last couple of years. Now they were back with a new arsenal of horror, causing me to wake up in distress almost once every night. I would have expected Morden to throw me out of his bed after the first three times, but instead he always soothed me and insisted I stayed. 

I had woken up screaming in the middle of the night again and was now lying tightly cuddled up to Morden’s chest while he spooned me from behind.

“I have to say, I truly regret having killed those bastards so quickly,” Morden said bitterly. “They didn’t deserve that.” 

I froze, well aware that it wasn’t their deaths he regretted, but the comparably painless and fast manner of them.

“I’m glad they’re dead,” I said. “I’m glad I don’t have to think of you torturing them.” 

“Why? Wouldn’t you want revenge?” Morden sounded confused.

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t change anything,” I said quietly. “What they did already happened, nothing could undo that. And it wouldn't help with the nightmares either, but only add to them, if anything.” 

“How so?” 

“Well, I really don't want to see you torture people in general; emotional baggage, you know,” I replied, trying but failing to sound casual. 

“Hmm. Then I suppose it truly is for the best that they're dead,” Morden concluded. His hand found mine under the covers and gave it a squeeze. “Try to sleep some more, there are still a couple of hours left until we have to get up.”

~~~

Of course nobody on the Council particularly cared about what had happened to me, and even the Keepers seemed more interested in shutting down Anne’s clinic than in investigating the actual crime. If I’d ever had any doubts about who Lightbringer and Zilean had worked for, Jarnaff’s reaction told me enough. It was infuriating to know that he was the one who had ordered it, and I had the impression that it cost Morden all of his perfect control not to kill him on the spot.

The fact that Morden had killed the perpetrators posed a series of new problems. The Crusaders would have loved to finally convict him for breaking the Concord, but they were unable to accuse him of murdering Light mages of the Council without exposing that those mages had been working for them. In return Morden would have loved to accuse them of facilitating the abduction and torture of his Council aide but couldn’t do so without admitting to the murder of Council-affiliated Light mages. It was a stalemate that everybody hated but no-one could solve.

“The Centrists will be supporting Leizi’s appointment to the apprenticeship committee, and the Isolationists offered to do so as well if you support the Item Trade Regulation act in return.” I was giving Morden my report over lunch at an Italian restaurant close to the War Rooms. 

“And what did you tell them?” Morden asked.

“I declined, of course.” 

Morden gave a curt nod. “Very good.” He sighed and took a sip of his wine. “Honestly, I am quite surprised that they haven’t given up on that ridiculous proposal of theirs yet.” 

I hummed in agreement. “The Directors don’t seem to understand that there’s never going to be enough support for the ID either.” 

“Did Julia bother you about that again?” 

The arrival of our food halted the discussion for a while, and I happily tucked into the pasta course. Seriously, with the constant high quality of the food it seemed almost like a miracle that Morden was able to hold his great figure. Not for the first time I wondered whether that was part of his own magic, the life magic treatments or if he actually worked out a lot.

But there was a different question that was bugging me even more. 

“Is there an attack planned on the War Rooms?” I asked and regarded Morden attentively. 

He scoffed. “No, of course not; those are just silly rumours. Why do you ask?”

“Because that's what they asked.” I swallowed, looking down. “They kept on asking me that over and over. I told them that I didn’t know, but they wouldn’t believe me.”

Morden hesitated and put his fork down. “I am sorry,” he said and clasped my hand on the table. “It is my fault; none of this would have happened if I hadn't forced you to be my aide.”

“If you hadn’t made me your aide, I would have been dead back in January already,” I gave back factually. Back then I had hated him for his intervention, and I still didn’t approve of the way he had forced me into working for him in the slightest, but I was able to acknowledge that he had saved my life. 

“Still,” Morden persisted. “I knew that the Crusaders were after you and should have taken more precautions to keep you safe.”

I pulled my hand from his. “I can take care of myself; this was just bad luck. I don’t need a babysitter.”

Morden sighed. “Of course, that is not what I meant,” he appeased and took hold of my hand again. “I am aware that you are very resourceful; it is one of the things I admire about you the most, in fact. But as you have already pointed out yourself a while ago, this predicament _is_ my fault.” 

He did have a point there, the only reason for why his enemies were now after me was because I worked for him. But I still didn’t like the way he seemed to blame himself for what other people had done.

“As long as I'm your liaison the Crusaders are gonna try to kill me, there's nothing to do about that,” I said with a shrug. “And if you fire me, then it's not just the Crusaders, but the entirety of the Council out to execute me.”

Morden looked rather unhappy, but thankfully dropped the topic for now.

~~~

‘For now’ of course didn’t mean ‘forever’ with Morden. He was a very patient man and could be secretly waiting for the right opportunity to make another move, while I had thought that the topic was long done. In a way I admired that quality about him, but at the same time it was infuriating how he treated almost every issue as something to be solved through a multi-step plan.

The next time he brought up the concern of safety was when I wanted to take the underground to meet up with Luna. My annoyed reminder that the Crusaders hadn’t even snatched me on a train sounded flimsy to him, and he offered to gate me, which surely was meant in a nice way, but still didn’t sit right with me. I then made the mistake to argue that there was simply no way he could keep me safe 24/7, to which he suggested that he could assign some of his most loyal battle mages to my protection. He even went so far as to offer the same thing for my close friends, so that they couldn’t be used as hostages against me, but I immediately shut down any proposal going in that direction.

I did understand his worries and would have lied if I said that I myself wasn’t feeling chronically unsafe and a little paranoid after what had happened. Anne felt like that too after she had been attacked in her own flat and opted to stay in the Hollow most of the time, and part of me definitely wanted to follow suit. But I knew that I couldn’t let those fears confine me too much, and I really didn’t want any bodyguards. Especially not ones that were Dark mages and would surely report everything I did back to Morden. 

In a way I was flattered by his concern, after all I wouldn’t have thought that he actually cared about me. It wasn’t something powerful Dark mages did. Caring about other people made them more vulnerable to threats by their enemies, and therefore there were basically no prominent Dark mage couples. It was part of the reason for why I hadn’t expected Morden to reciprocate my feelings, aside from the assumption I’d had about him being an unfeeling sociopath. 

But even though I stood partially corrected there, he was yet undeniably a Dark mage. It had been obvious in the conversation we’d had about how he would have wished to take revenge on Zilean and Lightbringer, and while I did understand the sentiment, it left a bitter taste in my mouth nonetheless. The unchanged existence of a torture chamber in his house did as well; that I hadn’t seen it in use after the Fateweaver misadventure was a shallow comfort at best. From what I’d gathered, torturing people wasn’t something he enjoyed despite his slightly sadistic nature, and it explained why his torture chamber was way more on the primitive side compared to Richard’s. He still considered it a necessary part of the furnishing, however. 

There was another thing that bothered me: Richard. Morden and I never talked about it, but it was impossible to forget who he was working with. When it was just the two of us dealing with Council problems it was easy to ignore that I was helping Richard in some way, and so the jobs for Archon consistently served as an unwelcome reminder. I had accompanied him again to a meeting with a group of adepts, and since I always served as Morden’s emissary, it was quite clear that Morden was aware of what was going on. But what that was, he wouldn’t tell me. 

“It’s really annoying that you never tell me anything, you know,” I huffed frustrated after he had refused to answer any kind of questions concerning Archon or the adepts again. “This shit too would be much easier for me if I actually had a damn clue what it is you're trying to achieve.” 

I vaguely gestured towards the stack of paperwork between us on the table. We were working rather late in the evening, and my tiredness was making me especially prickly. Where I usually made Morden laugh with funny quips or witty remarks, I had now ventured more and more into being basically insulting, and he had even suggested that I go to bed multiple times. I had refused.

“You don’t need to know that, and especially not for what we are doing here,” Morden replied without looking up from the file in his lap. 

“Of course, I never need to know anything,” I grumbled. 

“That is not true. I always inform you about the things you need to know.”

“Well, that's not what it feels like though!” I called, unable to stop my temper from rising further. “You just don't trust me! You say you love me, but you won’t trust me!”

Morden sighed and gave me a disapproving glance. “Are you seriously trying to pretend that if I told you our plans, you wouldn't be doing your best to stop them? Or tell the Council everything?” His tone was purely factual, not accusatory. 

I opened my mouth to protest, but it wasn’t like Morden was wrong. The reason why I wanted to know of his plans was so that I could stop them and inform Talisid. Did Morden know about the reports I was giving to him? I swallowed; I hated this notion that I was betraying Morden. I started to feel guilty, until I remembered why I was doing this. I had nothing to feel guilty for; he was the one who was working with Richard!

“Yeah, because your plans are evil!” I shouted and jumped up, all the doubts and frustrations I had suppressed coming up at once. “You are just a selfish Dark mage who is using me! Just like Richard! You are just like Richard!”

There was a brief flash of hurt in Morden’s eyes before it disappeared beneath his usual poker-face, and for a moment I felt triumph. It soon got replaced by regret as I realised how insensitive that had been. My statement hung uncomfortably in the silent room, but I was way too angry to take it back. 

“Go to bed, Alexander,” Morden said eventually, somehow managing to sound even more tired than I felt. My throat closed up as I saw how downbeat he looked, but I was definitely not apologising now.

“Fine!” I hissed and stormed off, making sure to effectively slam the door behind me. By force of habit I had first started into the direction of Morden’s bedroom, but stopped halfway and decided to go to my own room instead. I had no desire to deal with Morden again tonight.

~~~

Despite my tiredness I didn’t sleep well that night. The comfortable room that I had stayed in for months seemed foreign now, and I couldn’t help but feel lonely in the broad bed all by myself. Especially in the morning I missed Morden acutely, having become too accustomed to waking up beside him and using the early hours of the morning for cuddles and quiet conversations. Thinking back to our argument yesterday I felt ashamed of myself, ashamed because I knew that I had chosen the things I’d said with the purpose of hurting him.

In the moment it had felt good, now less so. I was rightfully frustrated by his distrust; just like from his perspective he was rightfully distrustful of me. I was having a lot of troubles arranging my positive feelings for him with my negative feelings about his allies and other things, but that didn’t mean he was using me. Or that he was just like Richard. 

I was almost scared to see him again, unsure of how to mend this. Morden knew how much I hated Richard, no wonder that he had been upset by my words. I would have loved to just pretend that it hadn’t happened, but I knew that wouldn’t work. Getting up from the bed I sighed, there was no sense in delaying this: I would simply have to apologise.

Pathwalking had shown that Morden was already having breakfast in the dining room, but as usual it hadn’t been helpful in discerning how he would react to me. The delicious smell of bacon and eggs made my stomach growl as I hesitated in front the door, the new cook, a middle-aged sensitive called Harriet, had proven herself to be quite skilled indeed. Taking a deep breath I steeled myself and entered. 

Morden didn’t give any indication that he had heard me and didn’t move either when I walked up behind his chair. 

“Good morning,” I said with a smile, hugged him from behind and began to place kisses on his hair and temple. 

“Good morning, Alex,” Morden greeted back after a while and reached up to hold my arm. 

I halted in my kisses and rested my head against his.

“I’m sorry for what I said last night,” I said quietly. “I was tired and angry and took that out on you; I didn’t really mean what I said. You are not like Richard.”

Morden didn’t react at first, but eventually he turned his head to kiss me. 

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I am sorry as well for making you work so long.”

Relief flooded me and I kissed him again, soon moving around the chair and coming to sit on his lap in search of a more comfortable position. The steadily cooling food on the table suddenly wasn’t all that urgent anymore.


	20. Breaking and entering

“When was it that you fell in love with me?” I asked and picked up my razor from the sink. 

It was a very relaxed morning, and after taking a warm shower together, Morden and I were now shaving in front of the wide mirror. After a rather pathetic attempt in my youth, I had entirely given up on ever growing a beard, and with the meagre growth rate maintaining a clean-shaven look had never been much of an issue for me. Morden too favoured to stay beardless, even though it probably wouldn’t be too hard for him to grow one. I tried to image what he’d look like with three-day stubble, or maybe a short boxed beard, and was surprised by how attractive some of those images were.

“It was more of a steady process, really,” Morden replied to my question after thinking for a while. “What about you?”

“Same, I think. But when did you notice?”

Morden considered his answer while he shaved, moving the razor blade in steady strokes over his cheek. Unlike me he wasn’t using a simple disposable razor, but an actual straight razor with a blade that folded into the handle. He had offered to give me a demonstration after I’d questioned its effectiveness and safety, but so far I had refused to let him brandish a knife around my face and throat. 

“The first time I noticed that something was going on was when you got attacked in your hotel room,” Morden said. “You missed the Council session, and Sal Sarque hinted at you having met the same fate as my previous aides. The possibility of your death should have caused me to consider and adjust my plans, but instead all that I could think of was the way you had laughed the day before – and that I would never get to see such a thing again.”

I stopped shaving and stared at Morden in surprise. “What? You've loved me that long already?” 

“Well, I probably wasn't quite in love at that point yet,” Morden attenuated. “But the thought of something happening to you did upset me.”

The shaving lather on my face wasn’t enough to hide the blush spreading through my cheeks. When I got attacked in my hotel room… that had been in May! _That_ was why he had made me move in with him; he had actually cared about my safety! It explained all the unexplainably nice things he’d done for me back then too… I was overwhelmed. 

“What about you?” Morden asked back. “When did you notice?” 

“I'm not sure,” I said truthfully, picking up my razor again. “I guess I noticed that I was attracted to you some time after the whole communications office business? But I don't think I really knew until I took that bullet for you.”

Morden stilled and met my eyes in the mirror. “Don’t take this wrong, I _am_ very grateful that you saved my life back then. But please, don’t ever do something like that again.” 

“Sure, as long as you don’t get yourself almost shot again,” I joked, but Morden’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now,” Morden began, rinsing his razor. “Before we met at the Council ball at Canary Wharf; Why did you tell Cinder that you were working for me, although you clearly weren’t interested in a job once I offered? Those were some rather mixed signals, you know.”

“I never said I was working for you,” I corrected. “Cinder asked me for a reason for why he shouldn’t kill me, and the only future in which he didn’t attack was the one in which I said ‘Morden’. I didn’t know that was your name; hell, I didn’t even know it _was_ a name.” 

Morden gave a short laugh. “So I already saved your life before we even knew each other?” he grinned, and I groaned. 

“Only you could take that away from this!” I rolled my eyes and flicked some of the shaving foam at him. Morden laughed.

~~~

The discussion about the inclusion of a Dark mage on the Light apprenticeship committee was at its height. As Morden had predicted, attaching a candidate to the proposal had lengthened the debate process, with its opponents doing their best to discredit Leizi. Here Morden’s meticulous selection showed itself, because even though Leizi was undeniably a Dark mage, there was simply nothing criminal to be pinned on them.

After making a deal with Druss, bribing Spire and blackmailing Undaaris, Morden’s proposal currently had three Senior Council votes in favour, which meant that it was lacking only one more for a simple majority. Levistus and Sal Sarque were completely out of the picture for that, but Alma and Bahamus weren’t the most promising either. The present plan was to increase pressure on them by swaying the opinion of the Junior Councillors as well, and the Isolationists’ call to subject Leizi to a public hearing came just at the right time. 

It had been something of a risk, but it seemed to have paid off. Leizi had stayed poised, calm and reasonable regardless of how inappropriate some of the questions and accusations thrown at them had been, and in succession made the people calling them a rowdyish Dark mage appear absurd. From what I had gathered, Morden himself didn’t agree with all of Leizi’s policies, but their rather moderate stance definitely helped in making them more agreeable to the Light mages. But despite this clear success and his generally optimistic outlook on the matter, Morden made a rather stressed impression on me the following day. 

I had been watching him pace through his study in the mansion in silence for a while now, before it got too much. 

“Hey,” I said softly and stood up from the armchair. “What’s wrong?”

Morden stopped in front of the tall French windows, looking out into the garden and clasped his hands behind his back. “Oh, it’s just another Council plot to unseat me, nothing out of the ordinary,” he said offhandedly, but his body language told something different. 

“You seem more concerned by it than usual, though,” I interjected and walked up to him, hugging him from behind. “Is there anything I could do to help?”

I marvelled at how he leaned into me and even rested his head back on my shoulder, not quite daring to move in fear that it would end this moment of vulnerability. A plot to unseat him could be just that, but when taking the Crusaders into account, ‘unseat’ could very easily be nothing but a euphemism for ‘kill’. 

“My intelligence network uncovered parts of the plan,” Morden began. “They aren’t certain about the details, but it seems to revolve around a certain data focus. This focus should contain the information necessary for me to enact countermeasures.”

“And where is this data focus to be found?” I asked, an idea already forming in my head.

“Sal Sarque's office.”

“Well then,” I said cheerfully. “What are we waiting for?”

Morden twisted his head to look at me. “Are you serious?”

“Of course, I’m your aide, it’s my job to help you, isn’t it?” I gave him a squeeze. It didn’t have the desired effect of cheering him up, however. 

“This will be dangerous,” Morden warned in a serious tone. “Breaking into a Councillors office at the War Rooms is not easy, and a very serious crime, in case you weren’t aware. There will not only be a strong lock but also wards – and then who knows where and how the data focus itself will be secured inside.”

I shrugged, trying to project confidence and nonchalance. “Yes, but I’m a diviner. Scouting a target, breaking in and finding things are kind of my specialities.” 

Morden hummed. “That may be, but what if you get caught?” 

“I won’t get caught,” I proclaimed. “No one would be there except Sal Sarque, and he’ll be in the Star Chamber during Council sessions. You could even distract him, to make sure he doesn’t leave early.”

“Fine,” Morden relented. “You may proceed with scouting the office – with your divination, naturally – and then we’ll see about if and how such an operation is truly feasible.”

I grinned and pressed a kiss against his temple. “Don’t you worry, we’ll get that focus in no time at all.”

~~~

Morden had been right, Sal Sarque’s office was a lot more secure that I had anticipated, but I was confident that I could manage it with the right tools. In preparation I had consulted with Moire, a very focussed mind mage, who was the head of Morden’s impressive intelligence network. Working with her had been an interesting experience, as I still remembered that the position Morden had originally wanted me for would have placed me as one of her officers.

Back then I had never even genuinely considered it, but now I sometimes wondered what would have happened if I’d accepted his offer. Would I have been forced to work for Richard even earlier? How would my relationship with Morden have developed? Would we have fallen for each other sooner? Or not at all?

I was going through the details of our plan with Morden in his study, when my precognition told me that we wouldn’t be alone much longer. One of Morden’s subordinates was arriving for a check-up, and with surprise I noted that it was someone I had met before. It was Calcite, the earth mage who led the team that had saved Luna from the Crusaders and had thrown the van with his incredible strength. I got up from where I’d been perching on Morden’s desk and moved to sit in the armchair at the side of the room, as my divination showed that Morden wouldn’t ask me to leave.

Calcite knocked politely and entered when Morden called him in, having to duck a little to get through the doorway. He looked even more impressively tall and buff in the daylight than I’d remembered him and was quite good-looking with his handsome face, ebony skin and the short black hair showing first hints of grey. 

He gave me a short nod, which I returned in kind, and then turned to greet Morden. 

“Hey boss, long time no see.” His voice was very deep and pleasant, showcasing a slight French accent. “You're still as gorgeous as always, though,” he added with a charming smile and winked.

My mouth fell open and I stared at him. I couldn’t believe the way he was talking to Morden, but what shocked me even more was how Morden responded to it: he laughed.

“It’s good to see you again too, Cal,” he said warmly and indicated for his guest to take a seat. 

I finally found the presence of mind to close my mouth, but if anything my bewilderment only grew the more I watched their interactions. While they were talking about business, Calcite, or _Cal_ as Morden called him, continued to flirt away, which caused me to become increasingly annoyed. Because while Morden didn’t outright flirt back, he didn’t shut Cal down either. 

It was the last straw when at the end of their conversation Cal rose and said, “So… I know it's been a while, but I'd still be up for some fun, if you'd like?”

“Excuse me,” I said before Morden had the opportunity to answer and stood up.

Cal turned to look me up and down. “No worries, I’m sure we needn’t leave you out of the fun,” he smirked. “If the boss doesn't mind, that is.” He gave me a wink, and I could feel myself blushing furiously. 

“Actually, I'd prefer it if you'd stop flirting with my boyfriend,” I said icily, crossed my arms and tried my best to stare him down, even though he was a head taller than me. 

Surprised Cal raised an eyebrow and threw Morden a questioning look, who gave him a small smile and shrugged. 

“I'm sorry, I wasn't aware,” Cal appeased. “Not to worry, I'm not out to steal him from you. Though I definitely wouldn't say ‘no’ to a threesome either.”

I gaped at him, too flustered to respond. It got even worse when he added, “I'm sure he'd have no troubles bossing around the two of us,” and winked again. As a diviner I am only very rarely caught off guard, but somehow Cal had managed exactly that. I wasn’t used to strangers being that forward with offering sex, and Cal’s confidence and directness came quite unexpected. He was genuine and honest, for all I could tell, and wouldn’t be too upset if I declined his offer. 

Speaking of which… did I want Cal to join us? My first reflex was a ‘no’, but that came primarily from my possessiveness of not wanting to share Morden. Maybe Morden would want him to? Would he be disappointed if I declined? What if he’d rather sleep with Cal than with me anyways? After all I was barely experienced and now even had a fresh set of trauma overcomplicating things… and he clearly liked Cal, there was no other explanation for why he hadn’t put him back in his place during their conversation. It had also become quite obvious that they’d definitely had something at some point, and despite being older, Cal was undeniably very attractive. 

Morden chuckled. “Don't let him pressure you, my dear,” he reassured me. “He's never had any restraint at all.”

“Maybe you should teach me a lesson, then?” Cal grinned. 

Morden laughed and rolled his eyes. “Get out.”

“As you wish, boss.” Cal smirked, nodded at me and turned to leave. 

When he reached the door he looked back at Morden and said, “I can see why you keep this one, he really is a cutie.”

After he’d left I sat back down, very dissatisfied with the situation. In a way I had felt like a child between adults talking, not only because both Morden and Cal were older than me, but also because they clearly had a connection that I didn’t understand. On another note, it was one of those things that showed me how little I actually knew about Morden’s life, while he already knew quite a lot about me. It also reminded me that he’d probably had better and more interesting sexual partners than me as well. 

I knew that sulking was a rather childish reaction, but that didn’t make the intense jealousy disappear. It tasted like bile in my throat. I also felt bad for my impulse to hate Cal on principle, even though he had seemed like a decent enough dude, for a Dark mage. Still, I was irritated.

“So, is it common for you to sleep with your employees?” I asked Morden bitterly, which seemed to amuse him. 

“You're not jealous, are you?” he gave back and raised an eyebrow. 

I looked away. “…yes.” 

There was a sigh and a rustle of clothes, quick steps across the room, and then Morden straddled my lap. His hand found my chin and tipped it up, forcing me to look at him. 

“There is no need for you to be jealous,” he said firmly. 

“I... I know, but...” I began hesitantly, holding on to his hips in reflex. “You two seemed so comfortable with each other, and he is a very impressive man, and maybe you'd really like for him to join us and-“

Morden shushed my rambling by placing a finger onto my lips. “There is nothing for you to fret about, Alexander. Yes, Cal and I had something great, but that was almost ten years ago. And it never was comparable to us,” he said, and when I continued to look sceptical added, “It was more of a friends with benefits situation, nothing more. But even if it were, it wouldn't matter now.”

“Why?”

Morden smiled. “Because I’m yours now.” 

I stared, certain that my face had to be at least cherry-red by now. He had said it in such a casual and matter-of-fact way, and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t have quite an effect on me. Twisting my hands tightly into his hair I pulled him closer, claiming his lips in a possessive kiss.

~~~

Sometimes I wondered what my younger self would think if he could see me now. In this very moment I was kneeling on the floor in a long corridor, fiddling with a pick in the lock of the door in front of me. I couldn’t quite decide whether he’d be appealed at my clearly criminal occupation or impressed that I was breaking into a secure government office to obtain crucial information. Thinking back at how much I had loved spy stories as a child, it was probably the latter.

My senses were on high alert, focussed on breaking the lock without activating the alarm mechanism, while keeping a lookout for potential witnesses at the same time. It was a blessing that Morden had forced me to put so much work into the preparation; I had scouted Sal Sarque’s office for over a week, and now I knew the lock and every single ward inside out. 

Holding the last pin taunt I grabbed the one-shot item from my pocket and pressed it against the door. It had been specially designed by Morden’s resident ward-breaking expert, precisely tailored to the exact ward combination protecting Sal Sarque’s office. Nothing visibly happened as I channelled my magic into the staff, but no alarm went off when I pushed the last pin in, and the lock opened with a quiet _click_. 

I grinned and got to my feet, packing up the lockpicking kit, which seemed to be part of the basic equipment for a diviner. Entering the office I let out a long breath, glad to finally be done with the most nerve-wracking part of the endeavour. With the door tightly shut behind me, the risk of discovery should be pretty low. There was a Council session running right now, and today Morden wouldn’t simply ignore Sal Sarque’s thinly veiled personal attacks like he usually would. Today the plan was to challenge him on them, and to thereby wrap him up in a heated discussion, which would hopefully grant me enough time to successfully locate and obtain the data focus.

Sal Sarque’s office looked a lot like Morden’s with the dark wood panelling, wide desk, and tall filing cabinets. It was bigger however, and the chairs looked a lot more comfortable to me. Perks of being a Senior Councillor, perhaps. I took up a position in the centre of the room and closed my eyes, it was time to get to work. 

There are many different forms a data focus can have, but the most common one is perhaps the one of a medium-sized marble. Now, in an office as big and packed as this, it would be pretty easy to hide an object as small as that in a way that made it almost impossible to find within a few minutes. Well, provided that the person searching for it wasn’t a diviner, of course. 

I stepped towards a small cabinet that was mounted on the wall, opposite of the huge fake window showing a breath-taking mountain view. Unerringly I reached out for the activation switch, turning the screw at the bottom left side of the cabinet three times counterclockwise. I stepped back when the cabinet swung away towards me, revealing a small safe imbedded in the wall. 

With all the money Sal Sarque probably had, he really should have invested into a higher quality safe; breaking into this one should be fairly easy. However, just as I had successfully put in the first number of the code, my precognition warned me that my time was running out. In all our planning to keep the Councillor out of his office, we had entirely forgotten to take the aide into consideration. 

I cursed, turning the dial faster. My heart rate picked up; this would get pretty tight. Finally the lock gave way, and I blindly thrust my hand into the safe, seizing a small, round object, and then quickly set on covering my tracks. I pushed the cabinet back into its place on the wall, grabbed my bag and dove under the desk. 

It had been just in time, because in the very next moment the door opened and Jarnaff walked in. I tried to make myself as small and invisible as possible, again damning the fire mage that had burned my invisibility cloak about a year ago. I held my breath as Jarnaff approached the desk, monitoring the possible futures and fearing the moment where the ones in which he detected me would take the upper hand. Jarnaff dropped a stack of files onto the desk, turned around and strode away. 

Only after the door had fallen shut behind him did I dare to breathe again, and only crawled out from my hiding spot when I heard his steps growing more and more distant in the corridor. This had been way too close for my taste; why did Jarnaff have to have the keys to his bosses office? I certainly didn’t. At least the danger of someone seeing me in passing was banned as I picked the lock again, this time from the inside. 

After having assured myself that the coast was clear I left the office, pulled the door close behind me and set a brisk but unsuspicious pace back to the antechamber. There I spent the rest of the Council session with the usual business, answering questions about Morden’s stance on certain issues, taking in meeting requests and arguing with file clerks. 

The session finally ended, and the Councillors came filing out of the Star Chamber, all ahead Sal Sarque, who stormed out with a face redder than Druss’ beard. The rest of the Councillors made an annoyed impression, only Morden looked quite pleased with himself. Wordlessly I fell into step with him and subtly slipped the data focus into his pocket. Morden smiled.


	21. Eyes opened

_October_

When I told my friends about the heist they were rather sceptical, to say the least. Anne even went so far as to suggest that Morden might have used my affections for him deliberately to manipulate me into doing it. Of course I defended Morden, citing that the plan hadn’t even been his but one I had suggested. It didn’t escalate nearly as much as our last argument, but we still left without coming to an agreement. Although I called her worries unfounded and paranoid, they still left a nagging doubt in the back of my mind. 

Morden had thanked and praised me a lot when I joined him at home in the evening on the day I’d stolen the data focus, assuring me that the contained information would be more than enough to thwart Sal Sarque’s plans. I had tried to ask about what that information had been, but Morden had insisted that since everything was being taken care of, rewarding me for my great help was the more important task at the moment. My half-hearted protests were soon forgotten, as Morden had already learned how to use my divination to his own advantage. 

Once he had found out that I could in fact _feel_ the futures I explored, it hadn’t taken him long to exploit that knowledge. He was very delighted by the way he could affect me solely by thinking about what he would like to do to me. Cruelly forbidden from touching myself, this game usually left me squirming and panting rather quickly, begging for him to just please fucking touch me already. It either ended with the afore threatened punishment if I failed to keep my hands above my head, or when he finally gave in to my colourful pleas. Either way, it was delightful. 

Sometimes I remembered my unstilled curiosity about the data focus, but it simply got lost amidst all the shuffle surrounding the apprenticeship committee appointment, which had entered its crucial stage. After a couple more heated discussions, bribes and forceful bribes (commonly known as blackmail), Morden felt comfortable enough to call for the final vote. Against what I had expected when I’d first heard about this plan, the proposal was approved with a critical vote of three to two, with two abstentions. It was a great victory for the Dark-Light integration effort, and although I myself wasn’t all too keen on that, Morden’s triumph was quite infectious. 

He was in an almost unparalleled good mood, invited me to a fancy candlelight dinner and afterwards opened an especially expensive bottle of wine in celebration. Usually I tried not to drink much, because it could severely lower my ability to recognise and react to threats, but tonight I was feeling safe and almost light-headed, and I really liked the sweet liquor Morden poured us after the wine. I actually liked it a bit too much, and once I noticed that I was getting tipsy, it seemed to be a bit too late anyways. 

“…it was one of their best songs, if you ask me,” Morden said. “I still remember the first time I heard it the year it came out –“

“- yeah, me too,” I interrupted him. “I heard it first on the car radio, when my mum picked me up from school.”

Morden stared at me. He was sitting in his usual armchair, one ankle casually resting on the other knee, while I sprawled on the sofa facing him. 

“Sometimes I forget how very young you are,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Hey, I’m over thirty, that’s not that young!” I protested. 

“Over thirty? Good lord, am I old,” Morden groaned, and emptied his glass in a swing.

“I really don’t get why you’re so insecure about your age, most Dark mages would be dead by now. That’s something to be proud of, isn’t it?”

“I’m not insecure about my age.” 

I looked him over demonstratively and smirked. “Sure.” 

Morden glared, but did give me a thankful nod when I poured us another round.

“Please do not pretend that you don’t appreciate the longevity magic too,” he said, flashing me a knowing smile.

“I mean, kind of, but I don’t really care that much, honestly,” I said and shrugged. “You’d obviously be very attractive without it too. Or are you going to stop being attracted to me once I get older?” 

Morden took his time to look me over, then smiled. “No.”

“See?” I smiled back at him. What would he look like without the life magic treatments? I squinted, trying to imagine him with greying hair and some wrinkles, crow’s feet around the eyes and laughter lines at the sides of the mouth. I drowned my next shot way too quickly, because damn, such attractive prospects should be illegal. 

He was stunningly gorgeous right now too, sharply dressed in a three-piece suit, his jet-black hair shining in the warm light of the fireplace and a slight blush to his cheeks from the alcohol. I kept on admiring the sight while we continued our conversation about music, which slowly derailed into a mock argument about whether or not orchestral and classical music were the same (I said yes, he strongly disagreed). All throughout there was no denying that my inhibitions were being lowered by the alcohol, as I couldn’t seem to stop myself from cranking out one bad joke after the other, nor from giggling helplessly at the ones Morden struck back with. 

It happened when my lips started to feel dry from the heat of the fire, and my tongue darted out subconsciously to wet them. There had been no other intent behind the action, and yet it seemed to have quite the effect on Morden. Suddenly the was a flash of a future in which he crossed the room, pinned me to the sofa and then proceeded to kiss me senseless. It lasted only for about a second until he regained control, but my goal for the rest of the evening was cut out clear. 

I slowly and deliberately licked my lips again. This time Morden kept himself better in check and stayed firmly in his seat in all futures, but I still noticed the way his eyes were fixed on my lips. I continued this game as our conversation moved on, casually running a hand through my hair, smiling enticingly and positioned myself in a way that I hoped was more attractive to Morden. He was clearly affected by my actions, swallowing heavily and unable to take his eyes off me, but sadly it wasn’t enough to get what I wanted so desperately.

It was time to turn up the seduction even more, I decided. Hey, Morden was still sitting all the way over there, and that was a lot further away than I wanted him right now. Dimly aware of how embarrassed I’d be by this once I was sober, I ‘accidentally’ spilled some of the wine on to my shirt.

“Oops,” I commented with fake surprise as the red liquid stained my shirt and helplessly dabbed at it with a tissue, before coming to the conclusion that, tragically, there was simply no other option but to take it off. It was as if I could feel Morden’s gaze burning on my exposed skin, and I couldn’t help but smile at the prospects my divination showed. 

“Come here,” Morden ordered, obviously expecting me to get on to his lap, but I stayed where I was. 

“If there is something you want, you should come over and get it,” I smirked. 

Morden’s face darkened and he seemed to fight with himself, until he finally got fed up with my antics. The futures cleared as he stood up and intently walked towards me, not hesitating to push one knee between my thighs and pin my wrists against the backrest. Then, before I even had the time to gloat, his mouth descended on mine and he kissed me deeply. 

I moaned against his lips, playfully struggling in his hold and relishing his unyielding strength. The kisses were passionate and almost sloppy; there was no doubt that Morden himself was more strongly affected by the alcohol than he had let on before. Our breaths and heartbeats quickened, Morden began to trail his nails and fingertips across my naked chest, and I tried to press myself against his knee, clawing my hands into his back to pull him closer. 

Suddenly Morden drew back and got up, looking down at me with blazing eyes. 

“We should take this to the bedroom before things escalate further,” he said with an appealingly husky tone to his voice. 

That plan was fine by me and so I followed him through the corridors, stumbling a little so that Morden could catch me and infecting him with my laughter. It stands to hope that none of the new servants were wakened by all the noise we caused on the way.

~~~

Variam had been called away for Keeper business in the middle of our movie night, and since Luna was feeling a bit under the weather anyways, we decided to reschedule and go home. However, I would soon come to regret returning to the mansion earlier than announced.

I had only just unlocked the door when my precognition warned me of who I would come across in the entrance hall. For a moment I thought about trying to hide around the corner until he left, but then composed myself and opened the door. You should never show your fear when dealing with Dark mages.

"Alex, how good to see you,” Richard said and gave me a polite nod. He must have been here for a meeting with Morden, and of course it was just my luck that he left at the same time I arrived. Set on escaping his presence as quickly as possible, I nodded back curtly and pretended to be in a hurry. Sadly it didn’t have the desired result of him leaving me alone.

“I have to say, I'm impressed by the good work you've been doing lately,” Richard said, slowing his step as if he expected me to stop for a chat. “Who knew that it would take something like _this_ to control you.” The small twitch in the corner of his mouth left no doubt of what it was he referred to. 

“Morden is not controlling me,” I gave back sharply, halting in my stride against my better judgement. 

Richard’s mouth twitched again. “Of course not.” He smiled knowingly. When I failed to react he shook his head, as if I’d made a particularly stupid joke. “Oh Alex, you don't actually believe that Morden is in any way emotionally attached to you, do you?”

“What would you know about it?” I demanded, unable to contain my anger. After everything he’d already done, was Richard now actually trying to get between Morden and me?

Richard’s smile deepened. “Nothing besides what he told me himself.” 

I was taken aback. 

“Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed that you would let yourself be fooled so very easily,” Richard sighed. 

“I don’t have to listen to your shit!” I hissed and stormed past him without another word. If I turned around again, Richard wouldn’t seem angry at my rudeness, but was obviously amused. 

Despite my strong words, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he had said. It had hit right into the heart of my doubts and brought them out from where I had tried to bury them. They raced through my mind even faster than I was racing through the corridors. Morden was still in the living room he had talked to Richard in, but I didn’t want to see him right now. 

_Nothing besides what he told me himself_ … Richard’s voice kept on replaying over and over in my head, taunting me for my stupidity. Looking at it that way, it seemed almost painfully obvious how I’d been manipulated. It was true, I had been working a lot harder for Morden since our affair began and had gone out of my way to help him. I had even stopped giving any kind of relevant information to Talisid, because I didn’t want him to ruin Morden’s plans on the Council. Slowly, I began to realise that Richard was right.

Without paying much attention to my path I had ended up in our bedroom. Morden’s bedroom, I reminded myself and looked around, eyes finally opened and yet anger clouding all my senses. I had even committed a crime for him! I had actively broken into a Councillors office, an act that could have earned me an all new death sentence just for the attempt. And I hadn’t even found out what exactly it was that I had stolen! Nor had I gotten anything substantial in return. 

I wanted to scream; all Morden had done was pretend to be vulnerable, then he used my care and helpfulness for his plans and finally distracted me with sex from even finding out what exactly I’d done. Who even knew whether it had truly been about a plan to unseat him, or if what’d it stolen actually were details on War Room security. My friends had warned me about it, but I hadn’t listened. Curbing my impulse to hit something, I grabbed my bags from a cabinet and started to pull my clothes from the closet. 

I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been, Morden must have been laughing behind my back for ages! All that romantic bullshit about how he noticed he loved me when he feared he’d never get to hear my laugh again, what a farce! And I had eaten it right up, like some kind of naïve teenager, head over heels with their first crush. 

I scoffed while I packed, ignoring the tears that stung in my eyes and turned my vision blurry. How the hell had I actually fallen for this? Looking back it was embarrassingly obvious. It had taken nothing but a couple of favours here, a few expensive gifts there, amazing sex and some sweet words, and I had been like putty in Morden’s hands. I wouldn’t have expected him to go to such lengths to assure my compliance, but then again if I knew something about him, it was that he would do anything to achieve his goals. 

Packing only the clothes I had brought myself; I closed the bag and left the ones Morden had bought for me. Going forwards I would rather see them burn than to ever wear them again. I had lived in Morden’s house, dressed up for him, shared his bed, hugged him, kissed him, slept with him, _loved_ him… I felt violated. 

Apparently I was unable to get anywhere undisturbed today, because Morden spotted me when I stormed down the stairs with the bag slung over my shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, frowning. 

“Well, what does it look like?” I snapped. “I'm leaving!”

“Why?”

“You know why!"

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage here. Please tell me, why are you upset?" Morden looked concerned and stepped towards me, reaching out to brush his knuckles over my cheek. 

“Don’t touch me!” I hissed and he immediately pulled back, his expression going blank. 

“There clearly is a conversation we need to have,” Morden assessed. “How about we do that in a more private room and not in this draughty hallway?” 

“I promise, I won't stop you from leaving, I just want to understand,” he added at my angry glare. 

I swallowed. “Fine,” I ground out, fully aware that if he wanted to, he could stop me from leaving right now too. 

In the living room Morden took a seat in an armchair, crossed his legs and looked at me calmly. I kept standing, feet shoulder wide apart and arms folded in front of my chest. It annoyed me how calm Morden was, as if this didn’t matter to him. 

“Well then.” Morden gestured at me to begin. “I’m listening.” 

“You’re using me!” I spat out.

“Please Alexander, don't be ridiculous now.”

“Ridiculous? I'm not being ridiculous! You are using and manipulating me, and I won't go along with that anymore!” My voice was getting louder and louder with every word, but I didn’t care. 

Morden sighed. “You are way too emotional about this. Calm yourself, please.”

“Fuck,” I laughed tonelessly, running a hand through my hair. “All of them were right, you really don't care about me. I don't know how I could have been so stupid, why I didn't listen to them?”

This finally seemed to have an effect on Morden, he straightened up and shot me a frosty look through narrowed eyes. “Who told you that?”

“What, upset someone spilled your secret?” I almost flinched when Morden stood up from his armchair and took a step towards me. 

“Who. Told. You. That,” he hissed in a cold voice. 

“Can't you even remember how many people you told that I don't fucking matter to you?” I shouted. Wrong move.

“That is not true!” Morden shouted back, and a dark blast of uncontrolled death magic flashed across the room.

It neither hit nor harmed me, but I startled nonetheless. I painfully recalled the last time he had lashed out at me and instinctively dropped into a defensive stance. There was no violence in the futures, if anything Morden seemed startled too. I had never seen him loose control over his magic before. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, the calm was back.

“If your friends have all been saying this for a while already, then why is it you are throwing a fit now?” he asked. 

“Actually, it was Richard who told me just now,” I said coldly. 

Morden looked incredulous. “And you believe Richard over me?”

“Well, he’s never lied to me before!” I snapped. “Are you saying he lied to me now about what you told him?”

“No, that part is correct.” 

“So you really just used me?” My heart sank, I’d known it before, but hearing it directly from Morden… somehow this hurt even more.

“That is not what I meant.” Morden was getting annoyed. “Think, Alex. What would happen if Richard knew how... attached... we've become?”

“This isn’t about Richard!” I retorted. “This is about how you manipulated me!”

Morden pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please Alexander, just stop and think for a second.”

I huffed and crossed my arms, willing myself to take a breath and do as he said. What would happen if Richard knew we were in love? Realisation hit me. 

“He’d try to use it to control us,” I said slowly and looked up. 

Morden nodded. 

“So you... lied to Richard?” I asked disbelievingly, but with an undercurrent of hope. 

“Of course,” Morden said. “Did you really think I would hand Richard a way to manipulate me on a silver platter like that?”

It took a load off my mind and I felt like laughing in relief. But before I could smile, doubt rose again, and my face darkened. 

“How do I know you’re not lying to me now?” 

Morden sighed. “'Alex, how do you expect me to prove to you that I'm not lying about my feelings?” He sounded very tired. “'And besides, how do _I_ know that _you_ aren't the one who is manipulating _me_?”

I was speechless, what were you supposed to say to a question like that?

“Well, how do you?” I demanded, because there was nothing else I could think of. 

Morden met my eyes straight ahead and said matter-of-factly, “Because I trust you.”

It took my breath away and the bag slid off my shoulder, dropping to the floor. Guilt rose in me and I swallowed, suddenly feeling ashamed of my accusations.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the floor. 

“Me too,” Morden said. “I should have told you that I would have to pretend as such in front of Dark mages. If they knew I cared for you, it would make me look weak and like an easy target in their eyes. Especially since you aren’t necessarily a strong fighter yourself.” 

“I've managed to take care of myself so far quite well, thanks,” I said annoyed. “Despite your best efforts.”

Morden chuckled. “I could kill you in seconds without moving a finger, my dear.”

I muttered and rolled my eyes but was unable to stop myself from smiling back at him. 

“So,” Morden said and gestured towards by bag. “Do you still want to leave?” 

I shook my head. “I’d like to stay, if that’s okay.”

Morden smiled softly. “Of course.”

I crossed the space between us and wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders. “I love you,” I whispered, unwilling to ever let him go again. 

Morden held me close, running his hand through my hair. “I love you too, Alexander.”

A few minutes later we had relocated to the sofa, cuddled close as I sat half across his lap. 

“What exactly did you tell Richard?” I asked quietly. “Why did you talk about that anyways?”

“Well, Richard heard about the rumours, obviously,” Morden began. “Naturally, he asked me about what was going on and joked that us falling in love wasn’t something he would have expected.”

“And so you told him that you aren’t emotionally invested, but are just manipulating me,” I concluded.

“Exactly,” Morden said. “I told him that it had simply turned out to be an effective way to control you… and that besides, you do have a cute butt.”

“Excuse me?” I gaped.

“Well, all that running away you do has to be good for something,” Morden grinned, and I yelped when he gave said cute butt a pinch.

“Thanks,” I grumbled. “Still, I can't believe you said that to _Richard_.” 

“Why is it that you hate him so much, anyways?” Morden asked.

“Seriously?” I twisted my head to look at him in disbelief. “How do you even have to ask that?”

Morden shrugged apologetically. “Well, having some disagreements in the apprenticeship process is quite normal, and apprentices leaving before their training is completed isn't that unusual either. Even a few of my own apprentices did that, but we still have an amicable relationship overall.”

“Did you lock them in a cell for months to be tortured at your convenience too?” I asked bitterly. 

“What?” Morden frowned. “No, of course not.”

“Well, there you have the answer.”

He was silent for a while. “I am beginning to suspect that what Richard told me wasn’t the whole story,” he said eventually. “Would you please care to fill me in on what exactly happened?”

I hesitated for a moment; I generally didn’t like telling that story at all. Besides, from the way Morden had acted I had always thought that he’d known already. But apparently not quite. Haltingly I told him about the mission with Catherine and my decision to help her, Richard’s reaction to my betrayal and the absolute horror that had followed. 

Morden neither interrupted nor pushed me, but simply listened quietly as he held me close. I was surprised at how easy it was to tell this story to him, though it probably helped that I knew he wouldn’t judge me for the same things as my friends had. Hell, he would probably even compliment me on the way I had dealt with Tobruk. 

“...and then Arachne helped me hide for a while, until I continued learning with Helikaon,” I finished my tale. 

“So I’m sorry, but there is absolutely no way I would ever join Richard’s side,” I added as Morden stayed silent. “I have learned the hard way what kind of person he is, and while I don’t know what his plan is, I know enough to be certain that I don’t want it to succeed.” 

I swallowed. “It's been so long, but sometimes… sometimes in my dreams, I'm still back in that cell.”

Morden pulled me to sit on his lap entirely, and I leaned back against his chest as he hugged me closer and kissed my neck. “I won't ever let anyone hurt you like that again,” he said quietly. “I promise.”


	22. Sweet dreams

Apart from a few incoherent images and emotions, I didn’t remember much of my dream, but that didn’t take the intense feeling of dread away. I lay on my back in the bed and fruitlessly tried to calm my racing heartbeat. Over the last month I had gotten so used to Morden always being there to sooth me that the emptiness around me felt jarring and lonely. Where was Morden?

He had been working late, and so I had decided to go to bed alone, expecting him to join me later. If I checked my phone on the bedside table, it would tell me that only two hours had passed; the nightmare really hadn’t let me sleep long. I contemplated just turning over again, but instinctively knew that I wouldn’t be able fall asleep after this anyways. Reluctantly I rolled out of the bed to go off in search of Morden. 

By pathwalking I quickly located him in a drawing room not far from here, and purposefully took the fastest route through the darkened corridors. My quiet arrival halted Morden’s conversation with his guest, and I hovered tiredly in the doorway. 

“Alex,” Morden greeted with a hint of surprise. “I thought you were in bed already?”

“I was,” I confirmed and crossed the room. “But you weren’t there.” Without waiting for a reply or an invitation, I climbed onto the sofa, curled up next to Morden and rested my head in his lap. The fear and tension fell off me almost immediately, and only then did I acknowledge the other person’s presence.

“Oh, hello,” I said, blinking sleepily at Cal and pretending that I had only just now noticed him, where he sat in the armchair opposite with a glass of wine. 

“Hello there, Verus.” Cal smiled and nodded in greeting. “Sorry for keeping the boss up so long.”

I just hummed in reply and closed my eyes, finally able to relax as Morden gently threaded his fingers through my hair. 

“Il est trop mignon,” Cal said to Morden, who chuckled softly and seemed to agree. “N’est-ce pas?”

I didn’t understand a word, but that was just as well. Morden kept on petting my head, and they continued talking in French, and so I easily fell asleep to the calming touch and the sound of their smooth and quiet voices. 

At some point Morden must have gotten up and carried me to our bedroom, because when I woke up in the morning I was back in our bed, hoarding the blanket as usual. We went through our daily morning routine, when it suddenly got interrupted by the message of an extraordinary Council session, calling Morden into the War Rooms. I offered to come along, but he declined, and so I moved on to an unhurried breakfast. 

However, I still didn’t have to eat alone, because Cal, who had stayed over in one of the guest rooms, soon came to join me in the dining room. 

“Boss not here?” he asked after he had bid me a good morning.

“No, he’s out already,” I replied. “Early morning Council session.”

Cal nodded, seated himself in the chair opposite me and began to pile an ungodly amount of bacon, eggs, sausages and other breakfast goods onto his plate. I followed suit in a more tempered manner, watching him attentively through divination. It was very rare for me to meet people who knew Morden personally, particularly ones he considered friends. 

“If it's some Council business, why aren't you there too?” Cal asked and picked up his perfectly parallel-aligned cutlery. Gustav, the youngest of the new servants, had somehow put it in his head that he had to lay the table by precisely measuring with a ruler, because he had seen it on Downton Abbey. The more experienced maid Jenny had told him it wasn’t necessary for anything besides formal dinners, but neither that nor the argument that the house didn’t even look anything like the one on the show had managed to convince him. 

“It's just for the Councillors, not the aides,” I explained and enjoyed the first bites of perfectly fried eggs and crispy bacon. 

“Councillors...” Cal shook his head. “You know, when he first told me about that goal of his, I thought he was crazy. They're never gonna let a Dark mage on the Council...and look at it now.” He shook his head again. "Shouldn't have doubted him.” 

“Yeah, I don't think anyone really expected him to succeed,” I said, returning his lopsided grin. 

“Except for him, he always was sure of it.”

I snorted. “He's always so sure of himself, and the worst is that he's usually right.”

Cal gave a short, barking laugh. “Very true.”

“So, how did you two meet?” I inquired conversationally.

“Same as you, I suppose; I worked for him.”

“Did he press-gang you into it?” 

“No?” Cal frowned. “He offered, and I was interested. First it was just a one-time job, which then turned into something more permanent, though I’ve been back in France for the last couple of years.”

“Of course, you can't threaten everyone's friends and family,” I muttered quietly, but not quietly enough. 

Cal’s frown deepened. “He isn’t threatening you anymore though, is he?” he asked, and I was surprised by the concern in his voice.

“No, of course not,” I assured him. Despite this, the danger for the people I cared about was sadly not banned yet, as Richard still posed very much the same threat. After our big argument we had agreed to keep Richard in the thought that Morden was simply manipulating me, because anything else would be basically suicide. 

“Good,” Cal said, sounding relieved. “He seems pretty happy now, you know. Much happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, and I couldn’t hide the smile that lit up my face. 

“Why do you always call him ‘boss’?” I asked, trying to get away from the touchingly personal topic.

Cal shrugged. “First because I worked for him, and then because he is quite bossy in all situations, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” He winked at me, and I blushed. 

“Well then, it’s been nice talking to you, but I’m afraid I gotta go now,” Cal said and stood up. “See you around, Verus.”

~~~

The was weather unusually warm and sunny for autumn, and so I decided to spend some time in the garden on my day off. It had always been neatly kept, and now that Morden had hired a professional gardener, it was even more well taken care of and beautiful. I didn’t know much about gardening, since living in London for most of my life had never given me the opportunity to develop an interest in it. The only time I had lived in a house with a garden had been at Richard’s, and I idly wondered how he would have reacted had I decided to make it my hobby. He probably couldn’t have cared less, I concluded.

At first Hermes accompanied me on my stroll, until he scampered off into the surrounding woods. I sat down on the lawn to read a little, but eventually put my book aside, lay back and just relaxed in the warmth of the sun. Somehow I must have fallen asleep, because there suddenly was the distinctive weight of a person lying half on top of me. I opened my eyes and smiled, Morden had wrapped an arm around my middle and was resting his head on my chest, deeply asleep. The grass under my back was getting a little cold, but there was no way I could wake him up now. 

Unable to resist I started running my hand through Morden’s hair, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands between my fingers and the warmth of the body resting on me. In a way it was quite flattering that he trusted me enough to fall asleep on top of me, as well as that he had decided that napping with me in the garden was a good use of his valuable time. He had been especially busy lately, hosting even more secretive meetings with other Dark mages than ever before. 

I had almost dozed off again, when the flickering futures clicked into place. I stilled my hand as Morden woke up but didn’t take it from his hair. Morden slowly turned his head to look up at me.

“Hey,” I said with a soft smile. 

“Did I fall asleep?”

My smile widened. “Yes, you did.”

“Sorry.” Morden sounded almost sheepish. 

“Not to worry,” I assured him. “I thought it was pretty cute.”

Obviously Morden wasn’t a fan of being called ‘cute’, but he didn’t complain when I resumed petting his hair and dropped his head back on my chest. 

“Sometimes... Sometimes I wish it could be just us,” he said hesitantly, his voice still a little hoarse from sleep.

“What do you mean?” 

“Just us,” he repeated. “No Council, no anything. Just us, like this.” 

Very touched by his words, I hugged Morden closer. “Me too.”

“We could, you know,” I said thoughtfully, steadily combing my fingers through his hair. “Just run away together. Somewhere far way, maybe Canada or New Zealand, so we wouldn’t have language problems. We could get a nice house and normal jobs, and just stay out of mage society altogether.”

Morden sighed and lifted his head to throw me a look. “Alex…” 

“I could run a shop again, just like ‘Arcana Emporium’, or maybe a bookshop,” I mused. “You could help me or do something else; I have no doubt that you would easily get any job you wanted. Though I suppose with your money, we wouldn't even have to work at all.” I grinned at him, but he didn’t return it.

“Would you really be satisfied with that?” he asked seriously. It was clear what he was asking for, was I actually willing to leave mage society behind and assume an almost normal life? Would I give up what I had achieved and the power I could have here?

I was silent for a moment, looking at Morden and slowly stroking the side of his face. Then I swallowed and said, “I think so. You?”

Morden sighed again and looked down. 

I stopped stroking and answered for him. “No, you wouldn’t.”

He met my eyes again. “Alex… I’m sorry…”

I shook my head. “No, I understand,” I said, successfully keeping any bitterness out of my tone. “Those things are important to you.” The ‘more important than me?’ stayed unspoken. 

“Thank you,” he said, turning his head, and kissed my hand. 

I blushed at the sweet gesture, pledging myself that I wouldn’t be upset he had dismissed my suggestion. It had been a ridiculous proposal made on the fly, but I couldn’t help but be charmed at the picture of us in a small cottage somewhere in the Southern Alps. Of course Morden would never go along with it, whatever schemes and plans he had were very important to him. He had been working on them for longer than I’d known him; I couldn’t just expect him to give up everything for me. 

In addition, this plan probably wouldn’t even work. I distinctly remembered how much stress it had been for Anne and me to hide from the Council last year. It would be impossible for Morden and me to hide from both the Council and Richard, not even including the fact that it would put all the people I cared about in acute mortal danger. And I wouldn’t want to leave my friends either. For a short moment I allowed myself to fantasise about all of us living in a big house together, before discarding the thought. No, it was a ludicrous idea. Even apart from all the trouble Richard and the Council would pose, there was no way Morden and my friends would ever get along.

~~~

My life had become a lot more relaxed after Onyx moved out, and so I had barely wasted a thought on him since then. Still, I hadn’t been too surprised when Chalice told me that he had been planning some kind of attack on me. The part that did surprise me was that it had been Richard, and not Morden, who had put an end to it.

When I asked Morden about it he told me that Richard had simply learned of it earlier and got the jump on him in enacting countermeasures, but was unwilling to explain why Richard had cared about it in the first place. It bothered me a lot that while he was going behind Richard’s back concerning our relationship, he still stuck with him when it came to everything else. 

Morden made a rather thoughtful impression in general lately, I often caught him pacing around and contemplating, but so far he had always tried to distract me whenever I asked. I decided to stop pushing and gave some space instead, trusting him to come to me once he was ready to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him. 

I didn’t know for sure whether there was any connection between this instance and his general inquietude, but as it turned out I wasn’t the only one who suffered from nightmares. I woke up to Morden tossing and turning in his sleep, and in the faint light of the moon I could see his eyes moving rapidly under the eyelids. 

“Morden?” I said quietly, but even if I tried louder, it wouldn’t have any results. I started to shake his shoulder, first carefully, then stronger. Suddenly pain flashed up in the futures, but it was already too late to avoid it. 

Morden's eyes flew open, there was a flash of black energy and I cried out when the kinetic strike threw me off the bed. The air got knocked from my lungs as I hit the floor, and now I lay there, gasping up at the ceiling and trying my hardest not to vomit from the nausea the death magic brought. 

“Alex?” Morden croaked. “Oh god, Alex, are you okay?” 

Before I had managed to get up Morden was there, running his hands over my body, as if to assure himself I was unhurt. 

“I’m alright,” I said, attempting to sit up and fighting against the dizziness. 

“Alex- I am so sorry; I didn't mean to-“ Morden began, but I interrupted him. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Slowly I managed to stand with Morden’s help. “You were having a nightmare and I startled you, I know it wasn’t on purpose.”

“That is no excuse,” Morden insisted. “I hurt you.”

“Stop fretting; it’s not like I'm in any way injured. There might be some bruises from the fall, but it doesn’t even really hurt anymore,” I tried to assure him. 

I climbed into the bed again, but Morden made no attempts to join me and kept standing. 

“I will sleep somewhere else tonight,” he said. “I understand if you'd rather not share a bed with me again after this.”

“What? No!” I protested. “Please stay?”

Morden looked at me with a pained expression. “I hurt you, Alexander.”

“It was an accident, I just startled you.”

“Sure, but what if it happens again?” 

“I’ll just be more careful next time,” I reasoned, but Morden still didn’t seem convinced. 

“Please just come back to bed?” I really didn’t want to sleep alone and looked at Morden with big, pleading eyes. I ruthlessly deployed the strategy my divination recommended, and he soon seemed conflicted. 

“Please?” I repeated pitifully. Morden finally lay down next to me again, and I immediately wrapped around him, pulling him snug against my chest. 

“Hey, it's okay,” I murmured softly and kissed his head. “You were just having a nightmare; and I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about.”

He sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, but Morden shook his head.

“I’d rather not,” he said, and all futures showed that asking further wouldn’t result in anything. 

“That’s okay,” I assured. “But I’m here for you, alright?”

“Thank you.” A pause. “I'm here for you too.”

My chest felt warm and I smiled. “I love you,” I said without having planned to. 

Morden’s hand found mine, and he entwined our fingers. “I love you too, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Il est trop mignon - He is too cute.
> 
> N'est-ce pas? - Isn't he?


	23. Unpleasant Surprises

Overall, things could have gone worse, I concluded as I wrung out my dripping jacket. Although they definitely could have gone a lot better as well. It had been another of my missions for Archon, this time he had sent me to collect a message in China, and unlike my previous jobs, this one hadn’t been a dead end. Archon really could have warned me about the group of Chinese mages and adepts surveying the place the message was stored at, though. 

I had narrowly managed to get in and collect the message without alerting them, and even succeeded in bypassing the message cylinder’s security to take a picture of the writing with my phone. Only when I was about to gate home did they spot me, and then things happened very fast. I had been completely outmatched in firepower, so that my only hopes had lain in trying to escape. In the moment jumping into the river had seemed like a good idea, now not so much anymore. 

The fast current successfully helped me shake off my pursuers, but at the same time relieved me of all my gate stones and fried the electronics of my phone, effectively stranding me in the middle of the Tian Shan mountain range. Even though I still had the message, there was no way I would make the handover on time. Relying heavily on my divination to find a safe path along the mountainside in the dark, I collected a couple of wild apples and walnuts on the way and took shelter under a ledge. The apples were horribly bitter, but at least appeased my growling stomach somewhat. I didn’t dare to even attempt starting a fire, as the glow and smoke would be a clear signal to anyone in the area, and so I was left freezing in the cold of my wet clothes, feeling all around miserable.

In situations like this I truly envied all mages that didn’t have to rely on stones for gating and additionally hated my past-self for ‘just not seeing the point in waterproof phones’. Luckily, I still had one last trick up my sleeve, but for it to work the timing had to be right. Due to the time difference dawn came and bathed the breath-taking mountain ridge across the valley in light when my divination finally showed success. The view was absolutely beautiful, and I might have been able to enjoy it if it weren’t so goddamn cold. I huddled up as warmly as possible and closed my eyes, but instead of simply falling asleep I went beyond…

Through Elsewhere it is possible to visit other people’s dreams, but for this to work they have to be asleep at the same time. The closer you are to a person the easier it is to find their dreams, and I was almost surprised at how easy it was for me to find the tall door made of reddish-brown wood. I opened it and stepped out into a lush rose garden. 

It was a warm summers day, and colourful butterflies of kinds I’d never seen before flitted about the beautiful flowers. Breathing in the heavily perfumed air I walked along the winding path, until I spotted the dream’s owner around a bend.

Morden turned, successfully hiding his surprise at my appearance. “This is your doing, I suppose?” he asked.

“Yes,” I confirmed. “I was looking for you.”

Morden nodded. “Walk with me?” 

I accepted his invitation, falling in step beside him as he took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. I wasn’t sure what exactly I had expected of Morden’s dreams, but this was amazingly beautiful. Roses of all colours and seizes were in full bloom, birds sang, insects hummed, fountains splashed, and over the tops of the bushes I could see a building that vaguely looked like Morden’s mansion. 

“Well then, please do tell me why it is you are honouring me with your presence,” Morden said. “Did you miss me so much on your mission?” To anyone else his tone might have sounded nothing but playful, but I recognised the undercurrent of worry. Morden knew that my mission shouldn’t have taken me so long and that I wouldn’t visit his dreams just for fun. 

“I need your help,” I admitted, and Morden’s face darkened. And with it, the entire dream did. Suddenly clouds hid the sun, the birds halted in their songs and dark shadows moved under the roses. 

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” I hurried to assure him, and then proceeded to recount my misadventure. 

When I was done, Morden laughed. The rose garden reversed to its light and friendly state as he realised that I hadn’t been kidnapped and tortured again, but was simply stranded without gate stones and a broken phone.

“Hey, it’s really not funny!” I complained, which only made Morden smile more. 

“Does that mean you need someone to pick you up?” he asked teasingly. 

“Yes,” I grumbled. “Preferably soon, before I die of hypothermia.”

Morden sobered again. “Where are you?”

“Xinjiang, somewhere in the Tian Shan mountains,” I said and changed the reflection of the sky in the fountain into an image of the landscape around me. Morden studied it intently.

“Your control of Elsewhere is very impressive,” he complimented as we continued our stroll. 

“Thanks. Do you use it often too?”

Morden shook his head. “I’ve been there maybe four, five times, and usually try not to stay if I don’t have to. I never saw much sense in practicing with Elsewhere, to be honest.”

I looked at him in surprise. Arachne had told me that most mages didn’t know Elsewhere the way I did, but I still would have expected someone as old and multi-talented as Morden to have more experience. I almost stumbled when I realised that without our magic and my superior control of Elsewhere, I actually was the more powerful one of the two of us right now. Morden had to be aware of this, but he didn’t seem to mind nor care.

“Richard taught us about Elsewhere,” I said. “He was the one who insisted we familiarise ourselves with it, and it was there that I found my mage name.”

“Verus,” Morden said slowly, feeling out the syllables on his tongue as if saying it for the first time. He smiled at me. “It is a very good name.”

I smiled back and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I like your name too.”

Morden set on to reply, but suddenly looked up as if he’d heard something. 

“Looks like it's time to go,” he commented. “Thank you for visiting, Alexander. I'll see you soon.” He raised our joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss upon my knuckles. Then he stepped back and disappeared with the dream.

~~~

I was shivering violently and couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering when Morden came to pick me up. It had taken him a while to find my precise location, but with the help of my projected image and a powerful tracking spell he finally succeeded. Back at home he peeled me out of the damp and freezing clothes and ran me a hot bath, even though it was in the middle of the night. I only remembered vaguely how he had towelled me off and wrapped me up warmly in our bed, finally able to feel my fingers again.

In the morning Morden insisted that I continue to rest while he passed on the message to Archon in my stead. Exhausted as I was, I lost the argument easily and obediently stayed in bed for most of the day. I fluctuated between dozing and reading as I recovered, and gratefully drank the tea Jenny and Gustav brought me. In the late afternoon I was feeling a lot better, and when Morden returned I was very much on board with his suggestions of how to warm me up even further. 

That lovely mood dropped immediately when on the next day one of my adept contacts managed to recover the data from my broken phone’s memory card. Arachne was able to decipher the message I had photographed, and what we learned from it sent a cold shiver over my back. Richard wanted me to bond a jinn for him.

~~~

In the following days I itched to confront Morden with what I had found out but couldn’t possibly do so without admitting that I had opened and read the message. Did Morden know about this plan? He had to, after all it seemed to be the reason for why Richard was trying to keep me alive, and therefore the reason for why Morden had done so himself before he fell in love. But if he knew, then why hadn’t he told me about it? Arachne had made it quite clear that bonding a jinn would harm the host in the long run, so Morden couldn’t possibly want Richard to go through with this. Unless, of course, he was willing to sacrifice me for his plans.

One week after Luna had shown me the work she was doing on the new ‘Arcana Emporium’ I was giving my report to Morden on our way out of the War Rooms.

“…and then there’s this ridiculous rumour that you’re going to replace Undaaris on the Senior Council soon,” I said.

Morden chuckled. “That truly is quite preposterous,” he agreed. “Anything else?”

“Oh yes,” I smirked. “Did you know that we had sex in your office yesterday?”

“Really?” Morden raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

I snickered. “I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to put it on your schedule next time.” 

“Much obliged,” he gave back dryly, but there was a twitch to the side of his mouth and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “If that is all, then I am afraid there is a different task to be discussed.” 

“Oh?” 

“Richard has a new job for you.”

My face fell immediately. “And what kind of job would that be?” 

“That he wants to tell you himself.” Morden’s voice sounded impassive and he looked straight ahead. “He will expect you tomorrow night at seven o’clock at his mansion. I believe you are in the possession of a corresponding gate stone?” 

I nodded mutely. 

“Good.”

“Do I… do I really have to go?” I asked quietly, embarrassed at how small my voice was. 

Morden looked at me, and I thought I saw a hint of compassion. “Yes,” he said firmly, but not unkind. “Don’t worry, Alexander. It’ll all be alright.”

~~~

I felt numb as I followed the dama through the shadowed corridors. There had been a couple of jobs I had done for Richard in the last months, but all of them had been handled through Archon, or that one time through Vihaela. This one felt different. I had been forced to visit Richard in his mansion earlier this year already, but back then Anne had accompanied me, and I only now noticed how much her presence had comforted me.

Another difference to last time was that Richard wasn’t alone. Through divination I could see that he was holding some sort of meeting, around ten other Dark mages were there in total, some of which I had seen before and others that I hadn’t. The futures got blurry from the point that I stepped into the room, but I calmed immensely when I saw that Morden was among the crowd. As long as Morden was there, nothing bad could happen to me.

The construct in shape of a young, blonde woman knocked politely on the door and opened it for me after some kind of non-verbal command.

“Mage Verus is here to see you, Master,” it announced as I entered and disappeared again when Richard dismissed it with a wave of his hand. 

I swallowed as the door shut close behind me and surveyed the room. It was a rather large drawing room which I still remembered from my time as Richard’s apprentice, everything from the layout to the furniture and the paintings on the walls was hauntingly unchanged. The conversations had died down once I stepped inside, and the other mages, who were scattered about the seating arrangements, regarded me quietly. Morden had claimed a very comfortable looking armchair close to Richard, and if he felt any kind of emotion at my entrance, he certainly didn’t show it. 

“Alex,” Richard greeted me and inclined his head. “Please, join us.” He gestured towards a sofa opposite the one he was sitting on.

“I’d prefer to stand, if that’s alright,” I gave back tightly. “I’d rather just get this over with.”

Richard seemed unphased at my refusal. “Very well,” he said with a thin-lipped smile. “I’m sure you are wondering why I have called you here today. As well as I am sure you have wondered about why I have invested so many resources to assure your survival – a lot more in fact than you might realise – and it is to both questions I will give you an answer today. An answer and an offer.”

I shifted my weight and swallowed, a dark suspicion rising in my mind. 

“Tell me, Alex, how familiar are you with jinn?” Richard asked, and a cold pit opened inside my stomach. 

“Familiar enough,” I replied. “The storage box Morden tried to get from that bubble realm in Syria contained a bound jinn, right?”

“Indeed it did,” Richard said, sounding pleased. “Well, if you are knowledgeable about jinn already, that will save us time. I have been looking into means of how to harness that jinn’s power for quite a while and had a few suspicions already, but only recently got the confirmation from the very message you recovered recently.” He smiled at me. 

“So you want to use that jinn as a kind of superweapon?” I asked. “You do know that while jinn are really powerful, they’re also impossible to control and eventually just wreak havoc, right? And that not Morden, but the Council got that box?”

Richard’s smile didn’t falter. “All in due time,” he said. “For now, let us concentrate on what it is that you can do for me. Surely you know that for a person to use a jinn’s power, they have to bond with it first. Unfortunately, this very process requires specific parameters to be met, and the more powerful the jinn is, the more difficult it is to bind. And the jinn from Syria is a quite powerful one indeed.  
Throughout my research I have found the important qualities that a host must have. For one, they must be a powerful mage, strong-willed and ruthless, but at the same time they must be empathic and caring enough to facilitate an emotional bond with the jinn. I bet you can recognise the difficulties these requirement pose, as well as the fact that all of these are qualities you possess.” He looked at me meaningfully.

“You want me to bond that jinn for you,” I said tonelessly. 

“Exactly,” Richard confirmed. “The bond cannot be forced, which is why I am making you this offer. This very night Vihaela and I will lead a raid into the Vault, where we will recover the bound jinn. The Council will be expecting an attack on the War Rooms and will have its hands full with the protesting adepts, so the opposition should be minimal. Once we return here, you will have the opportunity to bind the jinn to you.” 

“And why would I want to do that?” I asked. There was no way I would ever go along with this plan, but for now it seemed to be the safest to keep Richard talking. 

“You said you are familiar with jinn, clearly you know about the incredible power it would grant you. Think about it, Alex,” he said intently. “You are a very skilled and intelligent mage, and yet you will always stand back behind those who are in every way lesser, if it weren’t for their more combative magic types. With the jinn’s wish magic this would change. No-one could ever harm you in the way those Council mages did recently, nor would anyone dare to touch your friends. You wouldn’t have to listen to anyone anymore, and you would never have to fear anyone again.”

The room was silent after this, tensely waiting for my reply.

“Except it’s not that easy, is it?” I said bitterly. “I would still have to listen to you, right? Do your bidding and fight the Council for you, be your superweapon.”

“Well, you cannot expect me to help you gain all that power for free, can you?” Richard said reasonably. “As for your worry of how to control the jinn – the dreamstone which you have recovered for me will work perfectly to achieve just that.”

“And to assure my obedience,” I concluded.

“If such means will be necessary, then yes.”

“No,” I said.

“Pardon?”

“No,” I repeated. “I won’t do this.”

A rustle went through the room. Morden still showed no reaction.

“You wouldn’t have to serve me forever, of course,” Richard appeased. “Merely as long as it takes until this war is won, and after that I promise you will be left alone, if that is what you wish. Although depending on how well you perform, other rewards may be bestowed as well.”

“I don’t care,” I said harshly. “I won’t do this.”

Richard inclined his head. “Are you sure you have given this the deliberation it deserves? Just think about-“

“No,” I interrupted him. “I’ve considered it, and I’m sure I won’t do it. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”

No-one in the room dared to move while Richard regarded me. I too was frozen in place, mouth dry and palms damp. Eventually Richard sighed.

“Very well,” he said. “I had hoped that it wouldn’t have to come to this, but sadly you don’t leave me another choice.” He gave a curt nod to a group of Dark mages to his left, who got up and started walking towards me. 

I dropped into a fighting stance and balled a fist around my stun focus, prepared to strike. The mages advancing were outnumbering me four to one, but with Morden’s help it shouldn’t be a problem… I stumbled at what the futures showed.

“Morden?” I looked at him, his emotionless expression didn’t change. I searched the futures again, but there were none in which he came to my help. Instead, I could even see some in which he knocked me out himself. 

My eyes widened, and I shook my head. “No. No. Please don’t tell me you’re serious.”

Morden didn’t move when one of the Dark mages grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back. 

“Morden! Morden, please!” I called and started to struggle in earnest, but only got a fist rammed into my stomach for the effort. 

“I warned you, Alex,” Richard said as I doubled over in pain. “I had originally planned to let you and Miss Walker take part in the raid and create a dangerous situation in which one of you would have to bond with the jinn, but Morden convinced me that this would be a more effective strategy.”

Anger rose in me and I straightened up again, ignoring Richard. “How could you?” I shouted at Morden, trying to escape my captors so that I could lunge at him. “I trusted you!” 

Morden still didn’t show any reaction. “Please don't make a fool of yourself, Verus,” he said dispassionately. Then he turned to address the mages restraining me. “Take him down.”

The four mages obeyed, and I struggled while they pulled me out of the room, screaming and kicking, but mostly shouting insults at Morden. But no matter how hard I fought, the mages were simply too strong and took extra care to disarm me, after I’d successfully jabbed one of them with the stun focus. My anger turned into panic when I realised where they were taking me. 

The dark and cold hallways of the dungeons looked just the same, and soon present and past weren’t so separate anymore; the hands of the mages dragging me were Tobruk’s, as were their sneering voices and colourful taunts. They even threw me into the same cell; I recognised the pattern on the rough stone and the spot on the wall Tobruk had once slammed my head against. I was a little surprised that they didn’t start torturing me right away, there was no doubt that that was where this was going, but maybe Richard wanted to do it himself. Or maybe Morden did.

I screamed and kicked the wall, which my divination could have shown me was a bad idea. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid, couldn’t believe that I had actually thought I'd mean more to Morden than his plans with Richard. Sure, he might have liked me, but there should have never been a doubt about the fact that he’d always put his own ambitions first. I was so angry at Morden, but mostly at myself. I should have known; Richard had even warned me about it! It had taken Morden so little to wrap me around his finger again… I hated him! 

And yet all I could think of was Morden; Morden telling me he loves me, Morden telling me he cares about me, Morden holding me, kissing me, smiling and laughing at me. He had promised that he would never let anyone hurt me like this again, but that had been a lie. I had never understood why it was called this way, but right now I would have actually believed that my heart was physically breaking apart. It just hurt so much; I couldn’t believe how much it hurt. I sunk down to the floor and cried.


	24. Betrayed

The passage of time had become immeasurable, and I didn’t know how many minutes or hours had passed since I’d been in this cell – in a way, it felt as if I had never left. At some point my tears had dried up, and I had moved to huddle in a corner with my back protectively against the walls, a position that was both agonizingly and almost comfortingly familiar. It took a lot of effort to keep the past separate from the present, even more so since the latter wasn’t much better either.

Morden had betrayed me. Maybe he’d manipulated me from the start, maybe he hadn’t – ultimately it didn’t matter. I should have never made the mistake to trust him either way. He had told me come here and even reassured me that everything would be fine, although he must have known what would happen. He had flat-out lied to me, just like he’d probably done countless times before. And I had eaten it right up, I had believed that I was safe as long as he was there. 

My mind went back to the last thing Richard had said, that locking me up in the same cell again had been Morden’s idea – I had confided in him about the horrors I had suffered here and the way those still affected me, and he had taken that information and found a way to use it against me in furtherance of his goals. I really shouldn’t be surprised by that, it was part of what he did best, after all. Had it been back then when he’d made this plan? Back when he had realised that there truly was no way he could ever turn me to his side? Was that when he had made the decision to betray me?

Tears welled up in my eyes again, but I forced them down by sheer force of will. I didn’t want to spill anymore on this this liar, this traitor, this _bastard_ … Despite all this, I refused to believe that everything had been a lie. Morden had cared about me, in a way – it was just that he cared about his power even more. And honestly, I didn’t know whether that made it better or worse.

It became increasingly hard to keep the memories back, and I almost expected Tobruk to stride in at any moment, even though I knew it was impossible. The last time I had been locked up here I hadn’t managed to escape from the cell, but only when they had taken me out on a job. But then wasn’t now, no matter how hard my brain tried to delude me, and I wasn’t the same frightened, helpless teenager anymore either. 

Richard had said that he would lead an attack on the Vault tonight together with Vihaela, which probably meant that most of the mages at the meeting would be accompanying him, and that therefore the house was mostly empty. If I managed to get out of the cell before the raiding party returned, maybe there was a chance of escape. I dimly remembered the threat one of the mages dragging me down had made, about how they would catch and torture my friends too if what they’d do to me wouldn’t be enough to make me bond the jinn. I gritted my teeth and with a newfound determination turned my attention solely onto breaking out. 

The times had changed and so had I, yet the impermeability of the cell door hadn’t. I cursed, but no matter how hard I looked, there simply was no future in which I succeeded in breaking the lock. Which didn’t mean there weren’t any interesting futures, however. What I saw made me stop short; how was this possible? Soon those impossible futures were coming closer and closer, I could hear distant shouts and feel the flashes of magic. Then, steps in the hallway and a voice.

“Alex?” Luna called. “Alex, where are you?”

Staggering with relief I jumped up and pressed close to the door. “I’m here!” 

The sound of running feet came nearer, and I called again until there was a rattle of keys in the lock and the door finally opened. I stumbled in my hurry to get out of the cell and almost collided with Variam, who had unlocked and opened the door.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked while Anne gave me a critical look all-over. 

“I’m fine,” I replied and was thankful that they couldn’t see how red my eyes were in the dim light of the dungeons. Or if they did, then they at least didn’t comment on it. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you, obviously,” Variam said as we started walking towards the stairs that lead up to the mansion. 

“I really appreciate that, but how did you know I needed rescuing?”

“What?” Luna frowned. “We knew because you told us! You texted Anne, saying that you’re locked up in Richard’s dungeon.”

“No, I didn’t…they took my phone with all my other stuff…” I was confused.

“If you didn’t send that message,” Anne said slowly. “Then who did?”

We exchanged alarmed looks. 

“This is a trap,” Luna concluded. 

Variam nodded tensely. “Only question is, did we already escape it when we fought those mages, or do we yet have to snap it?”

“Let’s not stay around to find out,” I said curtly. So far the coast seemed clear, all I could see ahead were the crumpled bodies of the mages my friends had already defeated. 

“They only texted me,” Anne said as we climbed up the stairs. “Maybe they didn’t expect anyone else to come and thought those guards would be enough?”

“Maybe,” I said, but couldn’t help the feeling that there was something off about it. We had to get out of here as quickly as possible, preferably before Richard’s trap closed. I mapped out a safe route through the mansion and hurried ahead.

“What happened?” Luna asked as we jogged through the corridors. “Why did Richard lock you up? And where is he now?” 

I gave them a quick rundown of the events, how Richard had asked me to bond the jinn and what had happened when I refused. All throughout my story I didn’t mention Morden’s involvement. They would learn about his betrayal eventually, but right now I simply couldn’t bear to talk about it.

“So that’s why I’ve been getting summons by the Keepers!” Variam called. “They’re attacking the Vault!”

“Yes, but there’s some sort of diversion at the War Rooms,” I said. “The Keepers are probably focussed on the wrong thing, leaving the door wide open for Richard to grab the jinn.”

Variam cursed and took out his communicator, while I led us around the dama and out through a backdoor into the desolated gardens. A heavy weight fell from my shoulders as I stepped out of the mansion, and I made a beeline for the edge of the wards that prevented gating. 

“Damnit, I can’t reach anyone!” Variam cursed again. 

“What do we do?” Luna asked, slightly out of breath. “Richard can’t get the jinn; he’ll do everything to hunt Alex down!”

“And Anne,” I said grimly. “He said that he also considered her as a host. Or maybe he’ll just find someone else entirely.” I came to a halt as we crossed the wards, and we fell into an uneasy circle.

Anne looked concerned. “We have to do something,” she insisted. “We’re the only ones that know of this plan, someone has to stop it-“

“Well, it’s clear then, isn’t it?” Luna interrupted. There was nothing but determination on her face, and she looked around challengingly. A part of me wanted to disagree and insist on running and hiding, but it was a very hurt and scared part, which I managed to swallow down. I nodded once. Anne followed suit, and Variam, as always a man of action more so than words, began to conjure a gate.

~~~

Our intrusion into the Vault was met with silence, there was no trace of the usual guards and desk clerks. The reason for this emptiness became apparent quickly as we saw the bodies that littered the next hallway. Most of them didn’t show signs of violence, and I didn’t recognise any of them as Keepers I knew, but the sight was disturbing nonetheless.

“What killed them?” Luna asked quietly.

I was unable to look at her. “Death magic.”

We continued on deeper into the Vault, and I began to pathwalk ahead, trying to get a feeling for the situation. The amount of dead bodies around was a lot higher than I would have anticipated, and it included Dark mages that I had or hadn’t seen with Richard or Morden before, Keepers and Council security alike. I staggered when I recognised one of the bodies as Onyx, a bullet hole gaping in his forehead. I certainly wasn’t sad about his death, but as someone who was way more familiar with how he fought than I would have ever wanted to be, it seemed strange that anyone could have managed to just straight up shoot him.

“The Keepers are already here,” I informed my friends.

“Where?” Variam asked. “Let’s go there, we can tell them what Richard’s target is.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “There’s so many battles going on everywhere, it’s like everyone is just fighting everyone, I don’t even know who’s on what side in some fights.”

So far I had led us to avoid all battles and potential violence, but suddenly there was an encounter ahead that promised to be interesting. 

“There’s someone coming,” Anne warned. 

“He won’t attack,” I assured. It made no sense, but none of the futures I saw contained any fighting.

Luna still gripped her focus tighter and Variam prepared to strike when Calcite came dashing around a corner. His eyes widened in surprise, and he skidded to a halt. 

“The hell are you doing here, Verus?” he barked. “You’re not supposed to be here!”

“What’s going on?” I countered. “Why is everyone fighting each other?”

“You shouldn’t be here!” Calcite repeated strongly. “You should leave right now; the boss won’t like this!”

“Morden betrayed me!” I shouted, and my voice carried all the anger, pain and sorrow that had accumulated in me. Behind me I heard Luna gasp, and if I’d turned around, I would have seen Variam’s shocked and Anne’s sympathetic expressions.

“What? No!” Calcite looked taken aback. “He's trying to keep you safe!”

I laughed hollowly. “That's rich, as if locking me up in one of Richard’s cells is keeping me safe!” 

“Yes, to fool Drakh and to keep you out of the way!” Calcite gestured intently. “Don't you get it?” he added with a hint of desperation. “He's betraying Drakh – for you!”

I stared at him, too shaken to respond. 

“So all those mages fighting at each other-“ Luna began.

“That’s Morden’s fraction with the Council against Drakh’s fraction,” Cal explained impatiently. 

My emotions where in a turmoil, all this new information upheaved everything I’d thought I’d gotten to terms within the last couple of hours and shook me to my core. 

“Where is he now?” I asked, feeling nothing and yet everything at once. 

Cal shrugged. “I don’t know; last time I saw him he was duelling Vihaela.”

I swallowed, fear rising to the forefront of my turbulent emotions. Morden was incredibly powerful, and he definitely made my list of top ten of most deadly mages. But so did Vihaela, and unlike Morden I had actually seen her in real fights, and all of those times she’d been absolutely terrifying. 

“Anyways, you all should get out of here,” Cal said. “I’d accompany you myself, but I’m in a bit of a hurry right now, so if you’d excuse me-“ And with that he dashed on to throw himself into the next battle.

~~~

Of course we didn’t follow Cal’s advice and instead made our way deeper into the Vault, where we joined a group of Keepers commanded by Landis. They had put up a base in one of the control rooms, which also doubled as a make-shift hospital for the wounded. Anne barely wasted a second to listen to Landis berating Variam for ignoring his summons and went to support the overwhelmed healer. After we had sufficiently explained ourselves, Landis finally enlightened us about what was going on.

“So we are standing by because of that adept protest, but rumours were that it’s just a diversion for an attack on the War Rooms,” Landis said. “Then suddenly there’s an order, straight from the top, to join forces with Dark mages that listen to Councillor Morden at the Vault to fight against the ones that listen to Drakh. Apparently, your boyfriend made some sort of outrageous deal with the rest of the Council to dispose of Drakh; so here we are now, helping some Dark mages fight others, ‘the enemy of your enemy is your friend’ and such.” 

“What’s the status?” Variam asked.

“It’s not entirely clear, you can imagine what a chaos this was.” Landis shook his head. “Great shock on Drakh’s side when teammates suddenly turned on them, confusion about who’s on which side, and then we swooped in too. Right now it seems that we got most of Drakh’s forces contained in the west wing, but no intel on where he is exactly.”

“Do you know where Morden is?” I asked. So far I hadn’t been able to actually process the happenings, but I knew that I needed to see him. “We heard that he duelled Vihaela.”

“That must have been a while ago, because I burned that horrible woman to a crisp not too far from here, and there was no trace of Councillor Morden.”

I swallowed, feeling the dread pool in my stomach. If Landis had been the one to kill Vihaela, Morden probably hadn’t won his duel with her. In the best case the fight had been interrupted or one of them had managed to retreat, but in the worst case it meant that Morden had lost. And the meaning of that was something I didn’t even want to think about. 

I had to locate Morden. It was hard to find a spot calm enough to be undisturbed while pathwalking, but I tried my best to explore the Vault, constantly dreading the moment in which I might stumble across his corpse. I was too focussed to protest when Landis assigned Variam to a strike team and ordered Luna, Anne and me to remain at the base. Suddenly my heart lurched, the future I’d found first filled me with dizzying relief, but then replaced it with worry.

“Morden and Richard are fighting in the main vault!” I called to Landis, who immediately picked up his communicator to give the information through to his superiors. The reply that came was disappointing, however.

“Everyone stay away from that area and don’t engage,” Landis relayed.

I frowned. “Shouldn’t we help Morden?”

Landis shook his head. “Orders are to wait and see who comes out on top.” 

“That’s stupid!” I protested. “I can’t see how that fight is going to end; this would be _the_ opportunity to get Richard while he’s distracted!”

“I’m sorry, chap,” Landis sighed. “They’re surrounding the area though, to stop Drakh in case he wins.”

“In case he wins?” There was a slightly hysterical tone in my voice “You mean in case he kills Morden!” 

Of course this made sense, Morden had probably demanded a large favour in return for his betrayal, and so the Council certainly wouldn’t mind it if he was no longer around to call it in. I cursed, I still wasn’t able to see how the duel would end but couldn’t help the impression that even though Richard probably had the less combative magic type, he might still be the one to come out on top. Without further thought, I started sprinting in direction of the main vault.

Landis shouted after me, but I ignored him. I raced through the corridors, making decisions in the splits of seconds to walk the fine line between the fastest path and avoiding fights. I only came across a couple of other mages, but they either were too engaged in their battles to waste much attention on me, or simply didn’t react fast enough as I speeded past them. In a brief moment of clarity I took the time to pick up a discarded handgun from the floor. 

The closer I came to the main vault the clearer my image of what was going on in there became. The room was brimming with raw power as Morden unleashed waves of dark energy and black lightning, each of which would be more than strong enough to obliterate most mages. He was standing still, while his opponent moved around constantly and blocked the deadly attacks with a flickering black shield, seemingly always knowing the exact way to angle it so it wouldn’t break.

Richard wore Archon’s armour, and the helmet lay discarded on the floor. He moved with an impressive speed, though not with the supernatural kind of an air or force mage, and struck back at Morden with thin threads of undefined magic and a pistol. If there had ever been a point at which they had exchanged taunts or witty quips, it had long passed by now, and their faces showed nothing but grim concentration. 

True to Landis’ word, there was a loose circle of Keepers closing around the main vault, and I lost valuable time searching for a safe path through them. 

“Alex, wait!” Anne called. Apparently she and Luna had ignored Landis’ orders as well and followed me. I didn’t slow my steps, but the search for a way around the Keepers had held me up long enough to allow them to catch up with me. 

“What’s the plan?” Luna asked, panting a little. By now we were so close that the power coming from the flares of death magic was almost physically taxing, and the loud thunder and gunshots downed out the sound of our steps. 

“There’s none,” I gave back curtly. “Just throw all you have against his shield.”

Luna set on to reply, but there was no time as we finally reached the main vault. Then, everything happened at once.

We came to a halt in the doorway, Richard stood with his back to us, attention focussed on Morden across the room. Morden’s eyes widened when he noticed me, and that split second of distraction was enough for Richard. One of his dark threads enforced with counterspells penetrated Morden’s shield at the same time that Luna poured her curse into his. Richard and I pulled our triggers.

Two gunshots resounded from the walls, one bullet struck Morden in the chest and the other went clean through Richard’s head. I dropped the gun, stormed past Richard’s collapsing body and caught Morden before he hit the floor. If I’d felt his pulse, it would have been stuttering, his eyes were unfocussed, his breath came rasping, there was blood on his lips and even more blood seeped through his shirt. 

“No!” I choked, tears blurring my vision as I cradled him in my arms. Morden opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but no sound made it over his lips. He slowly reached up and touched my cheek with shaking fingers, then his hand fell back to the ground. His eyes closed.

~~~

_November_

Gravel crunched under my shoes as I walked up the driveway. The night was cold and clear, my path illuminated by the moon and the warm shine of the windows ahead. After the battle at the Vault it had taken me a while to puzzle everything together, but when I did, things had finally started to make sense. 

Sometime after our argument and my recounting of the things Richard had done to me, Morden had started to work on a plan to get rid of him. All those secretive meetings with Dark mages he’d held had been either to win or to solidify their loyalties, to assure that when things came to ahead they would follow him instead of Richard. Parallel to that he had approached members of the Senior Council, first Druss, then Bahamus and later the rest, to negotiate a price for his betrayal.

Looking at said price it got quite clear how very badly the Council had wanted to take Richard down, because what they had agreed on sure was something. It turned out that the absolutely ridiculous rumour, that Morden would replace Undaaris on the Senior Council, had actually been the one secret that had somehow trickled through. I could only imagine the extreme controversy and debates this demand must have caused in the Council; they hadn’t really wanted a Dark mage on the Junior Council, letting one into the Senior ranks was unthinkable. And yet they had begrudgingly agreed, selecting Undaaris as the one to go because of the extensive blackmail material that Morden possessed on him.

It had been an incredibly dangerous operation, everything would have been over the very moment that Richard caught wind of it, which explained the extreme stress Morden had been under. Everyone outside the absolutely necessary people had been left in the dark, and the orders had only been relayed in the very last moment. There had been so many things that could have gone wrong, but miraculously everything had worked out. Well, apart from Morden getting shot, of course. 

My memories of the night were a bit blurry, but one thing I knew for certain was that I would always be grateful to Anne for saving Morden’s life. I had been distraught when Morden had fallen unconscious, and it hadn’t been easy for Luna to drag me away from his body so that Anne could get the access she needed. Other people had arrived while she worked, and some of Morden’s followers had taken up protective stances around us to keep the Light mages from succumbing to any funny ideas. Before things could escalate Cal had decided to withdraw the Dark mages from the Vault, taking the still unconscious but now stabilised Morden with him. I had no idea what had happened to Richard’s corpse. 

Two days later I had received a small package containing my phone and a letter from Morden, informing me that he was recovered, sorry for what had happened and hoping to talk things out with me. So far, I hadn’t replied to his message. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk with him, I just needed some time to think and process. I wasn’t too angry at him, I understood the need for secrecy and that my reactions to his ‘betrayal’ had to be convincing, but I still wished that he had told me about this plan beforehand. 

There were a couple of sleek black cars in the parking area, and the entrance was lightened by an elegant lantern. Despite the overwhelming success of the operation in the Vault, it had come as something of a surprise when the Council had actually followed through with their part of the deal and appointed Morden to the Senior Council. The inauguration ceremony had been earlier today, and now there was a big celebration held at Morden’s mansion. 

The door stood open invitingly, and even though I was a little late, Gustav was there to help me with my coat.

“Welcome home, sir,” he greeted warmly. 

“Thank you.” I smiled back and nodded at him, then continued on. 

Another surprise had been the parts of Morden’s deal with the Council that involved me. Not only had the death sentence finally been repealed, but I was also next in line to take on Morden’s now vacated seat on the Junior Council. So far I hadn’t applied for the position, but according to Talisid the Council would have no choice but to appoint me in case I did. 

The party took place in the ballroom on the west side. There were small tables placed around a parquet dancefloor, a string ensemble played next to it and a large buffet was arranged on a long table at the far wall. Both Light and Dark mages stood and sat around in groups under the brilliant chandeliers, and several couples filled the dancefloor. By far the largest group of guests, however, had formed itself straight across the room from where I’d entered, Morden unmistakably at its centre. 

He was saying something to them but trailed off when he noticed me. I stared back, mouth dry and heart beating in my throat. The futures were multifarious and blurry with the amount of people around, and I picked one of the more distinct ones. Slowly, I began to walk towards Morden, who immediately passed his glass on to the mage next to him with a quick excuse and came my way. 

We met in the middle of the room, all mages around turning into nothing but background noise at the edge of my perception. Morden stopped in front of me, appearing uncharacteristically uncertain. Without hesitating for another moment I pulled him close and pressed my lips against his.


	25. Epilogue

_One year later_

“What year did the Oscar Wilde trials take place in?” Anne read from the question card. 

“Hmm, Oscar Wilde… that’s Victorian era, right?” Luna furrowed her brow. “Maybe 1880 or so?”

Morden smiled slightly. “1895,” he corrected, although it wasn’t his turn. 

We were hanging out in the Hollow for our game night, the board placed amidst the snack bowls on the coffee table between us. Due to the nature of the game, it would have been even more boring for me than usual, and so I had opted to pass playing this time and merely lounged on the couch with Morden, watching the drama unfold. So far Luna had always been the most competitive person at our game nights, but with Morden there now was someone else at least as invested into winning as she was. It had quickly turned into a rather intense but ultimately good-natured rivalry. 

“1895 is right,” Anne said. “Sorry, Luna.”

Luna huffed. “Of course _you_ would know,” she grumbled at Morden. “How old exactly were you when that happened?” 

Variam laughed, and I too couldn’t hold back a giggle. Morden pretended to be scandalised at my betrayal and playfully flicked my nose. 

“No comment,” he said stoically, but there was an unmistakable twitch to the side of his mouth.

Luna and Variam had been trying to find out his real age for quite a while now, and with Morden, me and even Anne refusing to tell them, they had ventured into making more and more outlandish guesses. The current running gag was that however long ago an historical event had taken place, Morden had been around and probably already looked twenty-five. 

I got pulled from my thoughts by my friends’ outrage when Morden failed to answer his Entertainment question.

“How the hell haven’t you seen that movie yet?” Luna asked disbelievingly. “Sorry, but now we really have to have a movie night sometime.” 

“We should do that at Alex and Morden’s though, the electricity here isn’t that reliable,” Variam said. 

“You try wiring up a house with a generator,” I muttered. In the last year I had built the small cottage in the Hollow in my free time, although I didn’t have a lot of that anymore. Being in a long-term relationship took time, though it certainly was time well spent. Another thing that took up even more of my days now was my new job on the Junior Council. 

After a lot of consideration and debate I had finally accepted the position Morden had brokered for me. I still wasn’t a fan of the Council, now that I intimately knew what exactly was going on there even less so than before, but had I turned the offer down, the Council would have simply elected another Light mage just like them. This might be the only opportunity I would ever have to actually influence anything important, and so I tried to do the best I could to be a voice for Independents, adepts and others who usually had none. 

The fact that Morden and I were openly together now had caused some Councillors to accuse me of being simply being a puppet for him. We did indeed work cooperatively on a couple of projects and supported each other’s proposals from time to time, but we also disagreed and argued on a lot of issues as well. Our long and heated debates in the Star Chamber were almost legendary by now. 

We still had to deal with a lot of plots to unseat us and of course the occasional assassination attempts, and it was almost weird how used I had gotten to these kind of things. Because of the constant danger I had strongly objected to Anne’s offer of becoming my aide but had eventually given in and was now quite impressed with how well she handled things. Morden too had a new aide now, who was very competent as well. 

With Richard’s and Vihaela’s deaths, the battle in the Vault had left something of a power vacuum in the British Dark mage scene. Morden had acted fast and solidified his position as Dark representative, and the commonly accepted misconception that it had been him who’d killed Richard definitely added to his reputation. I, for one, was quite happy with the official story. Had it become common knowledge that Luna and I had killed Richard, it would have only brought unwanted attention. 

Morden had been more upset about Onyx’s death than I would have anticipated. Onyx hadn’t even been supposed to be there, he hadn’t been privy to the plan and had taken part in Richard’s raid against Morden’s direct orders. Word was that when Richard had realised what was happening, he had simply shot Morden’s Chosen on the spot without warning. From what I had gathered, Morden and Onyx hadn’t been getting on well lately, as Morden had been rather disappointed in his former apprentice, which in turn hadn’t mitigated Onyx’s bitterness at all. 

It wasn’t that Morden had mourned him, but he hadn’t been entirely unaffected by his death either. I suppose that when you spend so much time with a person, it is simply impossible not to care for them at least somewhat. He had come to terms with it quickly though and was already thinking about taking on a new batch of apprentices. Because they would join the Light apprenticeship program, he said that it would simply be a good PR move, but I knew that it was more personal to him than that.

I curled my legs under my body on the sofa and leaned against Morden’s side, who was currently pondering a particularly tricky question.

“Please darling, I’m trying to win this,” he chided, but readily lifted his arm to let me snuggle under it. 

_The answer is Julia Roberts_ , I told Morden telepathically. I was still working on how to use the dreamstone and could only talk to other people mentally in close proximity so far, but it was rather useful nonetheless. 

_We shouldn’t cheat_ , Morden replied, after he had used my tip to finally gain the pink wedge, which brought him head to head with Luna again. Anne was still in the lead.

 _Luna has been cursing your dice rolls from the start_ , I informed him. _This is only fair_. 

Morden chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of my head. _Thank you, my dear_.

I smiled and leaned back, watching Morden and my friends play with a warm feeling in my chest. At first introducing them had been very awkward, and it had taken quite a while until they had warmed up to each other. Arachne had probably been the one who had initiated the change, she had offered to make him a suit and had been rather delighted to have a customer who already knew what he wanted and understood the fashion terms she threw around. 

Now I was very happy about how well Morden had integrated into our odd little group. I fondly remembered things like the first time that Luna had hugged him goodbye, the first time Variam had dared to tease him or the first time Anne had asked him for advice with a spell. A year ago I would have never thought such a development possible, but then again it wasn’t even that long ago that I would have never imagined falling for Morden myself either. Of course our relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing, but overall I was quite confident that we could make it work.

Anne had managed to answer her last question, thereby winning the game, and I contently listened to Luna and Morden bicker about who would have finished next. No, I truly would have never expected something like this, and looking back at how we had met I still found it hard to believe. I relaxed deeper into Morden’s side and closed my eyes.

 _I love you_ , I said over the dreamstone.

Morden pulled me closer and squeezed my shoulder. _I love you too, Alexander_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done! Feels almost surreal, it's hard to believe that I actually finished a story. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for you comments, kudos and simply reading; I appreciate all of that so incredibly much! ❤ I never expected anyone besides two friends to read this and have been overwhelmed with how many people actually did, and it really helped to keep me motivated. So again, thank you guys so much! 
> 
> For the next story I am playing around with a couple of different ideas, and it will probably go into more of an AU direction - but still Mordex, of course. ;)


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